23Feb, 2015


An Ex Call Girl’s Take on Fifty Shades


Clearly, Fifty Shades’ mastermind E.L. James is not an expert on dominance and submission. Yet her books and now the movie based on the books glamorize that lifestyle to millions across the globe.

I first encountered the BDSM lifestyle when I received a request from my escort agency to fill a call for a dominatrix role. The phone girl didn’t have anyone to fill this request and asked if I would do it.

At this point in my life, I had been sex trafficked, beaten profusely by my pimp, and finally left him for good. My pimp would beat me and then force me to have sex with him. I never enjoyed the pain—rather I was completely freaked out, afraid, emotionally and physically hurt. This behavior never turned me on; I was completely disgusted by it.

I was pretty bitter from the abuse that I experienced from my sex trafficker and in revenge mode on men. Greedy and hungry to finally be in control–I was curious and wanted to see what this BDSM lifestyle was all about, so I decided to take the call and try my hand at being the dominant. I demanded money and did what was expected of me, channeling “Fallen,” my sex industry name and call girl persona.

What a twist of fate and irony—the severely abused now becoming an abuser and getting paid to do it.

Many of my clients were obsessed with me and continued to call, because in their minds, a fantasy love/relationship had started. As this progressed, I got to know many of them and asked why they enjoyed BDSM. The answers varied: as “a way to let off steam” and “to let go of control”

Some described mother-to-son abusive relationships, physical and sexual relationships with other men, and a handful of important CEOs explained the need to surrender the control they had over others running their stressful companies.

With many of my clients, the more they practiced BDSM, the more intensity they wanted. And like a drug, they were never satisfied—they always wanted a more severe beating. Once they tried one thing, they wanted to explore another. That’s where it got really scary for me. What if they end up getting really hurt?

In all of my experience over the years with these men, one thing stands true: underlying their desire to be dominated was a deep-seated hunger and need for love. Many times their sexual desires stemmed from childhood abuse. They wanted to be cared for, watched for, disciplined, and admired. Just like a child.

(Continued at:)

[link to www.iamsecond.com]