Cheating Wife

I bet he pays everything

I went through the same thing 6 months ago. Wife got a good job as a cop, she got trained through the county, i quit my job to watch our 2 kids. Not more than a few months into her job she acts all distant and starts wearing a bunch of makeup all the time. I asked her whats going on, she says she has a crush on a guy from work. I flip out about it and she moves out. The house is in my name and we are in our late 20's.

So the divorce is final now and she worked it out with me so that we didn't have to go to court. She volunteered to give me the house and all the debt and equity. And 50/50 custody of the kids. Actually I get them 4 days a week and she gets them 3 days a week, because my job is easier hours so it's easier for me to watch the kids during the week.

So all in all she held up her end of the deal and walked away from our relationship without trying to screw me over. I probably got lucky, most women aren't like this I've heard.

Seems like instead of trying to snoop on her e-mail you could just put some sort of GPS device on her car and follow her to see where she goes.


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They work together and I beleive thats where it goes on after hours when she yells me she has to work late.

You're a disabled ZOGbot. Your life has been one terrible choice after another.

You can't really afford to dump your wife, can you?

Firstly, never let her know that you're aware of what's happening.

Don't ask about it.

Be discrete about what you know--she will entrap herself in her lies. If she's cheating, and you give her enough rope, she will hang herself.

If you think it is already over, you might as well at least confront her about it to see wtf is going on. If you still love her, give her the ultimatum - she quits her job and stops talking to the guy, or she quits you. - either way, you love her too much to sit by and share her with some other guy.

Maybe in 13 years, she's bored, or you've dropped the ball. Maybe this is your chance to fix things?

If the guy is her boss, you could always confront him, too... If the messages are sexual in nature, you could get his ass canned. He'll lose a lot of sex appeal when he's unemployed.

Last Edited by ifSHTF on 02/28/2015 10:16 PM

His wife is fucking her boss, who clearly makes more money than this disabled ZOGbot.

It's already over for this dude and he just doesn't want to accept it.

so with women it's all about money?

So when I quit my job to watch the kids so my wife could start a new career, it's my fault that my wife left me for another guy at her work?

you got it bub - education is expensive isn't it?

Your point? He has the upper hand, if she's banging the boss. I'd probably try and get proof, and then call the boss out on it during work hours, in his office so he doesn't make a scene. From there, i'd ask for his resignation, or run the proof right up the chain.

Then i'd confront the wife, and explain how since she was fucking the boss, i decided to remedy the situation, and if she wants to cut her shit out and go back to being my wife, that'd be great. Or...toss the photos at her and kick her ass out.

We're only getting one side here.

Women are genetically hardwired to be hypergamous. That means they cannot do anything but gravitate towards men who display a greater ability to provide material security.

So yes, it was your fault. You should have never acquiesced your masculine duties to a woman and then allowed your woman to enter a field independent of you where she would be exposed to other men who are working and earning and accumulating material security.

Expensive? Yes I lost my intact family but I got my 4 bedroom house completely in my name, she signed over all the equity and debt to me. I get $400 dollars a month child support, I get my kids 4 days a week. And she has to pay for all the daycare.

You're assuming the place of work would even bother to ask for this guy's resignation. They may, they may not.

Other than that, in most states it really doesn't matter if she's cheating or not, or whether you have proof or not.

You are also ignoring that OP has already stated in the thread that he and his wife jointly rent an apartment -- he cannot kick her out.

Ok, so how can I fix my life from here on? I don't think I could ever trust my ex wife again. Even during the divorce process she told me she wanted back together, and I agreed to it. Then just a few weeks into pretending to be back together she got on eharmony and found some rich guy she wanted to get with and left again.

Right now I just work a $11 an hour job because it's better for my 2 kids, because the hours are flexible for taking the kids to school and daycare. She's a cop so she makes a lot of money and pays me $400 child support. She went back to renting when she left.

I can try to get a good job, but it would mean more daycare for the kids. Should I try and get a girlfriend who will be a stay at home mom for the kids so I can get a good job?

Any time you show any consideration for a woman's wants, desires, or goals outside of her servicing your needs as a man, the woman respects you less.

No matter what woman say they still need sex. If you cannot perform then make an agreement with her. Find out if is just a physical thing or if she really loves this guy. If it is just physical thing then let her do it as long as you can watch so it is like you are participating.

If you're making ends meet where you're at right now, then it's really your call. I can't imagine supporting a family on $11 an hour. Keeping your kids out of shit liberal daycare is probably the best bet, but you sound like such a sad sack cuck it's doubtful you're teaching your kids anything different than what they'd be getting in a corporate daycare.

I'm starting to see that. Look at the characters women are attracted to in movies... they like Jack Sparrow over Will Turner in pirates. They like Han over Luke in Star Wars. They like Wolverine over Cyclops. They always like the selfish rogue much more than the stable, dependable man who wants to court, romance, and please women. Then they go off saying how much they want a man to romance them and court them and buy them flowers and all that.

Get a girlfriend for the sake of having a daytime babysitter?

My mother and father have been in divorce court for 5 YEARS. Why? I have an attorney as a sad excuse for a father and he knows how to work the system. He was unfaithful to my poor mom the entire time marriage with "sugar babies". My mom is flat broke and used all her money on attorney fees. What I did to make sure she received some money was install spy software on my dads phone and it pretty much tracks their location, emails, text messages, and google searches on the phone. He ended up paying my mother around 25,000 for what she sent him as evidence. Worked like a charm for some 100 dollar spy app.

OP Sounds like a dumbass



You're more worried about physical cheating than emotional? Once you've lost her emotionally its over. Physical is just this earth, it doesn't go beyond

Now that she knows you are checking her phone, she may restort to email or other computer methods. Install a KEY STROKE logger on her device. It will secretly record every key she hits, essentially recording all her conversations. At the end of a day or two open the program and read through all her shit. You might catch more than you bargined for.
ive used this method to catch a cheating GF, kicked her ass to the curb and moved on. I know its harder with a wife, specially with kids. But you gotta do whats right for you.

OR... you can accept the fact that humans were not programmed to be monogamous and start getting yourself some side action, tell her you know about hers and you deserve your own. Live a happy life screwing multiple womens, sort of a win win. It just takes a while to come to terms with it.

You're right, I've got it backwards.

I think I will go ahead and confront her with what ive already got. It's already enough. And just get the fuck out.

My original post I was just wanting to build this mountain of evidence, dump it in her lap and walk out the fucking door.

OP, first of all, thank you for your service. I am sorry to read this thread and hope that you find the truth you need. It suvks that you have to ho through this. Lots of good advice here...be wise. I am a loyal wife myself and would not ever dream of cheating. I just don't understand people and how they can hurt one another like this. I know so many people going through divorce because of cheating, its just so devastating. Hang in there, lirs of us are sending you good vibes.

Stay strong.

That's what you should do, but see it depends on what you've found you haven't told us the details of that.
If its clearly showing they have been sexual you shouldn't even bother confronting her just leave.
He doesn't deserve a chance to explain and lie more after the evil thing she has done.
How easy it was for her to just break up with you and leave before she did it? So easy, but the selfish whore wanted her cake and eat it to.
She deserves nothing from you at all.

The texts can be recovered depending on what kind of phone it is. If it's an iphone, there is plenty of software out there.

Are you in a no fault state? How about a state that recognizes alienation of affection? You can completely blow up hers and her bosses life if you really want to.

Go check out a website called talkaboutmarriage
Specifically the coping with infidelity section. There is lots of good information on there for people who suspect their spouse of cheating.

Sorry this happened to you, but you don't have to be a chump at this point. You said you were military at some point eh? Find your balls again and show them to the world!

You know where she works? Can you get in?
Wait until she tells you she is working late and show up there.
What better way to prove it?