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My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.

 
Elfsong

User ID: 68542460
United States
04/02/2015 02:05 AM

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My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
My daughter brought her Boyfriend home the other day to introduce him to the family. Everything was going fine until she admitted that he was married. When I asked him bluntly if he was separated from his wife and what his intentions were, he stated that he was not separated and that he had no intentions of leaving his wife.

My daughter could see that I was in shock, she quickly explained that she had met his wife and that she was perfectly ok with her husband dating my daughter. After all, she was dating on the side too. When I tuned to look at him, he was smiling and told me.. "Oh don't worry, I have been fixed, there will be no children. And I do not plan on getting divorced."

I left before I said something that I should not have. I could only think that if they were both dating other people, why did they even get married?

In raising my daughter, I taught her that you do not "Poach other women's men" end of story. The man is a sleazeball. Now what do I do?
The vibrations of Mental Forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence.....
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HollyWho

User ID: 42783921
United States
04/02/2015 02:10 AM

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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
You're in a tough spot no doubt about that. I wouldn't let the cheating bastard in my house. If your daughter chooses to date a married man she should have to live with the consequences. No family functions etc.

Poaching is a good word for what she's doing. Good luck. We all love our kids but maybe you are going to take a stand on this one.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:12 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
so they have an open marriage. no problem then. they get married i assume for certain economic/legal benefits when legally recognized by the state as a marriage. they also probably really do love and enjoy each other but also want to love and have relations with other people while maintaining that core bond between them. sounds like youre the only one with the problem.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:12 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Tell her you didn't raise a home wrecker and she needs to knock that shit off or she'll be cut outta the will.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29045400
United States
04/02/2015 02:13 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
OP, I think you should let your daughter learn the hard way. I understand as parent, that you don't want to see her get hurt. But this will be a life lesson. Hope that cheating bastards wife finds out soon. Sorry about your situation OP
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63805251
United States
04/02/2015 02:13 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
One up the chump. Take your daughter on a date.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 55217540
Canada
04/02/2015 02:15 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
you should calm down.
have a glass of wine.
and start dating me.

hugs

sideways
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68794324
India
04/02/2015 02:19 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
My daughter brought her Boyfriend home the other day to introduce him to the family. Everything was going fine until she admitted that he was married. When I asked him bluntly if he was separated from his wife and what his intentions were, he stated that he was not separated and that he had no intentions of leaving his wife.

My daughter could see that I was in shock, she quickly explained that she had met his wife and that she was perfectly ok with her husband dating my daughter. After all, she was dating on the side too. When I tuned to look at him, he was smiling and told me.. "Oh don't worry, I have been fixed, there will be no children. And I do not plan on getting divorced."

I left before I said something that I should not have. I could only think that if they were both dating other people, why did they even get married?

In raising my daughter, I taught her that you do not "Poach other women's men" end of story. The man is a sleazeball. Now what do I do?
 Quoting: Elfsong


more i look at american society and i shudder when our own fifth columnists employed by USA will bring that to us

i am glad i am single and have no children..the pain will be too much to bear
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:21 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
They could be wanting to cut her up in a ritual.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:22 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Ask your daughter to post risque stories on here. Also I'm game to be a 3rd or 4th or 5th wheel if she's within my dating age range and at least a 6/10.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68794580
Canada
04/02/2015 02:23 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Somewhere along the line your daughter watched one hour too much TV and sat in on one too many liberal college professor psych lectures.

I've always thought the answer lies in exterminating the subhuman subversive trash that is currently steering this society. In a healthy, sane society devoid of jews, homosexuls, degenerates and what we call today "intellectuals," I don't think that kind of thing even crosses the mind of a normal White person. I don't know that 100% for sure but I see no harm in trying.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:24 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Ouch.

No offense, OP, but sounds like your daughter, and of course the guy, are devoid of ethics.
castHerOut
User ID: 12478190
United States
04/02/2015 02:24 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
You failed as a parent and it is to late to teach her. You can still man-up on this though. Cast her out of your life. If she lives with you kick her out now, Anything she owes you demand payment. Your daugther is the worst kind of whore and not worth the time of day, period. Only she can change her life so do not even try, because she will not.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:26 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
04/02/2015 02:29 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


For an amoral scumbag like you perhaps there is no issue.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44453310
Switzerland
04/02/2015 02:30 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Tell her you didn't raise a home wrecker and she needs to knock that shit off or she'll be cut outta the will.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 62740825


*sigh*

Cut out of the will? Ooooo, she must be shaking already. You do realise that after such a threat she doesnt want any of it anyway. Since material is more important to you than your children. That's just sick.

Anyway, who are we to judge other people? Do we know for sure that what we think is right, is actually right?

OP, let your daughter live her life, dont dictate it for her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1408355
Australia
04/02/2015 02:34 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
I would tell her not to bring her married boyfriend around me.

Not too much you can do, if you don't want to fall out with your adult child. You can stand by your own principles though, and tell her you love her but want no part of this swinger relationship.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21351810
United States
04/02/2015 02:37 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Assuming your daughter is an adult, there's not much you can do about it.

You can express to her your disgust, and not support it in any way, like not inviting them to your house.

Unfortunately, she'll have to fall on her ass to learn her lesson the hard way.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68781027
Australia
04/02/2015 02:39 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
swinging the moral low, lol.
THEJLXC

User ID: 66535284
United States
04/02/2015 02:45 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Ouch.

No offense, OP, but sounds like your daughter, and of course the guy, are devoid of ethics.
 Quoting: filth


iamwith
THEJLXC
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31310212
United States
04/02/2015 02:45 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


For an amoral scumbag like you perhaps there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794580


amoral? and how is it amoral exactly? amoral in your subjective opinion. you must be a member of one of the abrahamic religions. ignorant and self righteous. morality should be really simple. do not hurt another person. physically or psychologically. do not violate the will of another person. do what you want but harm none is the best morality there is. was an old pagan saying before satanists took it and made it simply do what thou wilt. excluding the harm none part. theirs is do what you want even at the expense of others. your kind, the religious want to lord over other people with a sense of superiority. you fuck everything up with your self righteousness. you have a problem with love and sharing love. you have a personal problem. ego and jealousy plagues you and that is why you can never share a loved one with someone else.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 55217540
Canada
04/02/2015 02:53 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
cut off her left pinky finger for disgracing your family name.
let her know if it ever happens again you'll cut out her liver and do elf rituals with it that will torment her soul forever and ever in the slut pit
faint

User ID: 68695271
United States
04/02/2015 02:53 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Assuming your daughter is an adult, there's not much you can do about it.

You can express to her your disgust, and not support it in any way, like not inviting them to your house.

Unfortunately, she'll have to fall on her ass to learn her lesson the hard way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21351810


^this

I can't believe the guy STATED he was "fixed!!!!" wtf

That is disgusting! Even if my husband got "fixed" I don't think I'd tell my mom, I surely wouldn't tell the mother of my girlfriend and oh, by the way, I'm also married.

Geesh, I'm sorry OP. Yes, let her fall on her ass. Life has its consequences. But at least he's "fixed."
Ron Paul was the last true Statesman
Trump is fine- no hate/no fawning. Let him do his job.
intj, please bear with me
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 02:54 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


For an amoral scumbag like you perhaps there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794580


amoral? and how is it amoral exactly? amoral in your subjective opinion. you must be a member of one of the abrahamic religions. ignorant and self righteous. morality should be really simple. do not hurt another person. physically or psychologically. do not violate the will of another person. do what you want but harm none is the best morality there is. was an old pagan saying before satanists took it and made it simply do what thou wilt. excluding the harm none part. theirs is do what you want even at the expense of others. your kind, the religious want to lord over other people with a sense of superiority. you fuck everything up with your self righteousness. you have a problem with love and sharing love. you have a personal problem. ego and jealousy plagues you and that is why you can never share a loved one with someone else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


:ohsnap123:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1408355
Australia
04/02/2015 03:00 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


For an amoral scumbag like you perhaps there is no issue.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794580


amoral? and how is it amoral exactly? amoral in your subjective opinion. you must be a member of one of the abrahamic religions. ignorant and self righteous. morality should be really simple. do not hurt another person. physically or psychologically. do not violate the will of another person. do what you want but harm none is the best morality there is. was an old pagan saying before satanists took it and made it simply do what thou wilt. excluding the harm none part. theirs is do what you want even at the expense of others. your kind, the religious want to lord over other people with a sense of superiority. you fuck everything up with your self righteousness. you have a problem with love and sharing love. you have a personal problem. ego and jealousy plagues you and that is why you can never share a loved one with someone else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212


But this girl is doing harm. She is harming her parent, if no one else. You maybe doing harm too, with your judgmental and self righteous post. You used your subjective opinion to decide you had the right to give your view on morality.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 03:08 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
I picked up Aspects of the Masculine / Aspects of the Feminine by C.G. Jung (edited by John Beebe) for less than $1 on Amazon.

Just read this today:

Nowadays we can hardly discuss the love problem without speaking of the utopia of free love, including trial marriage. I regard this idea as a wishful fantasy and an attempt to make light of a problem which in actual life is invariably very difficult. It is no more possible to make life easy than it is to grow a herb of immortality. The force of gravity can be overcome only by the requisite application of energy. Similarly, the solution of the love problem challenges all our resources. Anything else would be useless patchwork.

Free love would be conceivable only if everyone were capable of the highest moral achievement. The idea of free love was not invented with this aim in view, but merely to make something difficult appear easy. Love requires depth and loyalty of feeling; without them it is not love but mere caprice.

True love will always commit itself and engage in lasting ties; it needs freedom only to effect its choice, not for its accomplishment. Every true and deep love is a sacrifice. The lover sacrifices all other possibilities, or rather, the illusion that such possibilities exist. If this sacrifice is not made, his illusions prevent the growth of any deep and responsible feeling, so that the very possibility of experiencing real love is denied him.

Love has more than one thing in common with religious faith. It demands unconditional trust and expects absolute surrender. Just as nobody but the believer who surrenders himself wholly to God can partake of divine grace, so love reveals its highest mysteries and its wonder only to those who are capable of unqualified devotion and loyalty of feeling. And because this is so difficult, few mortals can boast of such an achievement. But, precisely because the truest and most devoted love is also the most beautiful, let no man seek to make it easy. He is a sorry knight who shrinks from the difficulty of loving his lady. Love is like God: both give themselves only to their bravest knights.

I would offer the same criticism of trial marriages. The very fact that a man enters into a marriage on trial means that he is making a reservation; he wants to be sure of not burning his fingers, to risk nothing. But that is the most effective way of forestalling any real experience. You do not experience the terrors of the Polar ice by perusing a travel-book, or climb the Himalayas in a cinema.

Love is not cheap - let us therefore beware of cheapening it! All our bad qualities, our egotism, our cowardice, our worldly wisdom, our cupidity - all these would persuade us not to take love seriously. But love will reward us only when we do. I must even regard it as a misfortune that nowadays the sexual question is spoken of as something distinct from love. The two questions should not be separated, for when there is a sexual problem it can be solved only by love. Any other solution would be a harmful substitute. Sexuality dished out as sexuality is brutish; but sexuality as an expression of love is hallowed. Therefore, never ask what a man does, but how he does it. If he does it from love or in the spirit of love, then he serves a god; and whatever he may do is not ours to judge, for it is ennobled.

I trust that these remarks will have made it clear to you that I pass no sort of moral judgment on sexuality as a natural phenomenon, but prefer to make its moral evaluation depending on the way it is expressed.
 Quoting: C.G. Jung
sashita

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04/02/2015 03:12 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Unfortunately, there's little you can actively do to convince your daughter that she's making bad decisions. If I were you, I wouldn't let this married man come to any family functions or come to your house. You don't have to entertain people, in your own home, who you disapprove of. As for your daughter, I know that, right now, she thinks things are just fine. But, as a woman, I know that it's very difficult to love someone who will never consider marrying me. The whole "dating a married man" (whether he and his wife have an open marriage or not), thing is a recipe for heartache and pain. I know your daughter doesn't realize this now and she may have to learn the hard way that these situations are very, very rarely good for anyone. I know how hard this must be for you. You certainly should feel free to make your displeasure known, but I wouldn't cut her off from contact with you, because she needs a mother who has some sense and loves her. She'll really need you when the whole thing blows up on her one day. Then, you will be there to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered dreams and, hopefully, she will have learned a very hard lesson about life and love.
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2015 03:18 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Does he have kids with his wife? Why are they dating other people? I would not have too much of a problem with it if they were all adults but I question your daughter.

It is obviously more than sex if she is bringing him home to meet you. So they are not just swingers. The man basically has a wife who is first and a girlfriend who is second. How strange is that. She is not a girlfriend. She is a mistress.

Most women should want to be first in their man's heart. That is what marriage is. The point is your daughter is second. Only a mistress. She could do better.
Anonymous Coward
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04/02/2015 03:22 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
Act like it's no big deal. She may be trying to shock you. Maybe not. But one or the other will get bored much quicker without your resistance to the relationship. They may have come out to you just to get an extra charge because it's already faltering.

When they break up gently encourage her to get tested for STDs. He and his wife sound nasty.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 03:24 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
See if the guy will hook you up with his wife.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/02/2015 03:36 AM
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Re: My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do.
The sleaze may have lied to this mistress girl His wife may no nothing about he is telling his mistress it is all fine with her and she is cheating on him. too. How big is this swinging around? STDs and heartbreak. Tell her to call you when she breaks up. No visiting and for sure not letting him slink around and pop all your family members.





GLP