My daughter is dating a Married man and does not care.... what do I do. | |
ar-15 nut User ID: 44044090 United States 04/02/2015 11:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 61835084 United States 04/02/2015 11:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I picked up Aspects of the Masculine / Aspects of the Feminine by C.G. Jung (edited by John Beebe) for less than $1 on Amazon. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65899417 Just read this today: Nowadays we can hardly discuss the love problem without speaking of the utopia of free love, including trial marriage. I regard this idea as a wishful fantasy and an attempt to make light of a problem which in actual life is invariably very difficult. It is no more possible to make life easy than it is to grow a herb of immortality. The force of gravity can be overcome only by the requisite application of energy. Similarly, the solution of the love problem challenges all our resources. Anything else would be useless patchwork. Quoting: C.G. JungFree love would be conceivable only if everyone were capable of the highest moral achievement. The idea of free love was not invented with this aim in view, but merely to make something difficult appear easy. Love requires depth and loyalty of feeling; without them it is not love but mere caprice. True love will always commit itself and engage in lasting ties; it needs freedom only to effect its choice, not for its accomplishment. Every true and deep love is a sacrifice. The lover sacrifices all other possibilities, or rather, the illusion that such possibilities exist. If this sacrifice is not made, his illusions prevent the growth of any deep and responsible feeling, so that the very possibility of experiencing real love is denied him. Love has more than one thing in common with religious faith. It demands unconditional trust and expects absolute surrender. Just as nobody but the believer who surrenders himself wholly to God can partake of divine grace, so love reveals its highest mysteries and its wonder only to those who are capable of unqualified devotion and loyalty of feeling. And because this is so difficult, few mortals can boast of such an achievement. But, precisely because the truest and most devoted love is also the most beautiful, let no man seek to make it easy. He is a sorry knight who shrinks from the difficulty of loving his lady. Love is like God: both give themselves only to their bravest knights. I would offer the same criticism of trial marriages. The very fact that a man enters into a marriage on trial means that he is making a reservation; he wants to be sure of not burning his fingers, to risk nothing. But that is the most effective way of forestalling any real experience. You do not experience the terrors of the Polar ice by perusing a travel-book, or climb the Himalayas in a cinema. Love is not cheap - let us therefore beware of cheapening it! All our bad qualities, our egotism, our cowardice, our worldly wisdom, our cupidity - all these would persuade us not to take love seriously. But love will reward us only when we do. I must even regard it as a misfortune that nowadays the sexual question is spoken of as something distinct from love. The two questions should not be separated, for when there is a sexual problem it can be solved only by love. Any other solution would be a harmful substitute. Sexuality dished out as sexuality is brutish; but sexuality as an expression of love is hallowed. Therefore, never ask what a man does, but how he does it. If he does it from love or in the spirit of love, then he serves a god; and whatever he may do is not ours to judge, for it is ennobled. I trust that these remarks will have made it clear to you that I pass no sort of moral judgment on sexuality as a natural phenomenon, but prefer to make its moral evaluation depending on the way it is expressed. Just Beautiful. |
Elfsong (OP) User ID: 68542460 United States 04/02/2015 02:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, I think you should let your daughter learn the hard way. I understand as parent, that you don't want to see her get hurt. But this will be a life lesson. Hope that cheating bastards wife finds out soon. Sorry about your situation OP Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29045400 Thank you... I was taught that if you are in a group of people (face to face) if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. She keeps asking me why I am so silent during dinner. How can I explain to her that 'Once a Cheater... always a Cheater'? It will only be a matter of time. working with Positive Thoughts will result in Positive Outcomes. |
Elfsong (OP) User ID: 68542460 United States 04/02/2015 02:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 68798867 Netherlands 04/02/2015 02:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Your daughter is misguided and stupid for being with such an asshole.. tell her he aint welcome at your place nor that you approve of such a situation.. just let her know it aint cool to call someone elses husband your boyfriend? The guy also sounds annoying as fuck.. she should know by now that dating a loser like that is a big reflection on who she is as a person.. try talking to her like an adult and see what you get out of it.. |
MonocyteOne User ID: 15041895 United States 04/02/2015 02:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1052341 Puerto Rico 04/02/2015 02:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What goes around, comes around. I have never known anyone who did this that did not receive in kind later down the line. You will feel the pain you inflict on others one way or another. Your a good mom for trying to counsel her, she will learn the hard way sadly. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 42578064 United States 04/02/2015 03:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The 'married' man has no respect for the sanctity of marriage, and your daughter is foolishly engaging his desires. Quoting: Occasionally Swears Tell your daughter the reason he hasn't bought another cow is because the milk is free. Well you summed that up very well. Straight to the point. Of course, perhaps the daughter doesn't want to buy the whole hog just to have a little sausage........ Sorry, couldn't resist! |
Firestone User ID: 65413276 United States 04/02/2015 03:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If she was my daughter I would love her but tell her this is not right. She needs to be warned of the dangers in being in this kind realationship. For one a bad reputation, she's considered a home wrecker and whore, a good guy that she could have had in her life, may not want anything to do with her. I would tell her it hurts you, because you can see how in the future it could hurt her as well as it being a moral issue an a source of embarrassment to the family. Unless she just playing a game, she's the one that will be hurt the most when things go bad. The married man would not be welcome in my home. Sounds like she's young, I'm sure she'll be fine as long as she knows you'll always be there for her. . As Mulder once said, "the truth is out there". "We want to be the band to dance to when the bomb drops." - SLB |
Lil Sis User ID: 11213558 United States 04/02/2015 03:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Unfortunately, there's little you can actively do to convince your daughter that she's making bad decisions. If I were you, I wouldn't let this married man come to any family functions or come to your house. You don't have to entertain people, in your own home, who you disapprove of. As for your daughter, I know that, right now, she thinks things are just fine. But, as a woman, I know that it's very difficult to love someone who will never consider marrying me. The whole "dating a married man" (whether he and his wife have an open marriage or not), thing is a recipe for heartache and pain. I know your daughter doesn't realize this now and she may have to learn the hard way that these situations are very, very rarely good for anyone. I know how hard this must be for you. You certainly should feel free to make your displeasure known, but I wouldn't cut her off from contact with you, because she needs a mother who has some sense and loves her. She'll really need you when the whole thing blows up on her one day. Then, you will be there to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered dreams and, hopefully, she will have learned a very hard lesson about life and love. Quoting: sashita Pick up the pieces is right. He will dump her for sure. Just be there for her. Boyfriends come and go, Moms and daughters are forever, like it or not. ************************************************************************ Corruptisima re publica plurimae leges. ~ Terence |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 57304844 United States 04/02/2015 03:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52613017 United States 04/02/2015 03:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Unfortunately, there's little you can actively do to convince your daughter that she's making bad decisions. If I were you, I wouldn't let this married man come to any family functions or come to your house. You don't have to entertain people, in your own home, who you disapprove of. As for your daughter, I know that, right now, she thinks things are just fine. But, as a woman, I know that it's very difficult to love someone who will never consider marrying me. The whole "dating a married man" (whether he and his wife have an open marriage or not), thing is a recipe for heartache and pain. I know your daughter doesn't realize this now and she may have to learn the hard way that these situations are very, very rarely good for anyone. I know how hard this must be for you. You certainly should feel free to make your displeasure known, but I wouldn't cut her off from contact with you, because she needs a mother who has some sense and loves her. She'll really need you when the whole thing blows up on her one day. Then, you will be there to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered dreams and, hopefully, she will have learned a very hard lesson about life and love. Quoting: sashita As time goes by, the daughter will be crushed and broken and need her mom more than she needs anything else. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 66553816 United States 04/02/2015 03:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My daughter brought her Boyfriend home the other day to introduce him to the family. Everything was going fine until she admitted that he was married. When I asked him bluntly if he was separated from his wife and what his intentions were, he stated that he was not separated and that he had no intentions of leaving his wife. Quoting: Elfsong My daughter could see that I was in shock, she quickly explained that she had met his wife and that she was perfectly ok with her husband dating my daughter. After all, she was dating on the side too. When I tuned to look at him, he was smiling and told me.. "Oh don't worry, I have been fixed, there will be no children. And I do not plan on getting divorced." I left before I said something that I should not have. I could only think that if they were both dating other people, why did they even get married? In raising my daughter, I taught her that you do not "Poach other women's men" end of story. The man is a sleazeball. Now what do I do? My step sister is a nurse after a less than one year failed marriage she went on to date (screw) a doctor who is 38 and she is 27. the doctor is married with three kids. home wrecker. i find this behavior unaceptable to the point where the person is to inmoral to hold a conversation with. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37579514 United States 04/02/2015 03:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Oh boo hoo the poor little girl is such a victim. No she's an adult woman who is obviously buying the lies of the devil. She didn't just wake up one day and decide to date a married man, something was very wrong with what she was taught. Her moral compass is broken or non existent. You need to get on your knees and repent of the way you raised her. Get right with Christ and lead by example and maybe she'll come around some day after her life of filth implodes. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2059592 United States 04/02/2015 03:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 10847848 Canada 04/02/2015 03:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37579514 United States 04/02/2015 03:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My daughter brought her Boyfriend home the other day to introduce him to the family. Everything was going fine until she admitted that he was married. When I asked him bluntly if he was separated from his wife and what his intentions were, he stated that he was not separated and that he had no intentions of leaving his wife. Quoting: Elfsong My daughter could see that I was in shock, she quickly explained that she had met his wife and that she was perfectly ok with her husband dating my daughter. After all, she was dating on the side too. When I tuned to look at him, he was smiling and told me.. "Oh don't worry, I have been fixed, there will be no children. And I do not plan on getting divorced." I left before I said something that I should not have. I could only think that if they were both dating other people, why did they even get married? In raising my daughter, I taught her that you do not "Poach other women's men" end of story. The man is a sleazeball. Now what do I do? My step sister is a nurse after a less than one year failed marriage she went on to date (screw) a doctor who is 38 and she is 27. the doctor is married with three kids. home wrecker. i find this behavior unaceptable to the point where the person is to inmoral to hold a conversation with. Yup. I haven't talked to my sister in 20 years. She broke up not one but two marriages. What company does light have with darkness. She got exactly what she deserved in the long run. Broken, alone, and her two kids won't talk to her. |
Booger Cancer User ID: 68246264 United States 04/02/2015 03:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My daughter brought her Boyfriend home the other day to introduce him to the family. Everything was going fine until she admitted that he was married. When I asked him bluntly if he was separated from his wife and what his intentions were, he stated that he was not separated and that he had no intentions of leaving his wife. Quoting: Elfsong My daughter could see that I was in shock, she quickly explained that she had met his wife and that she was perfectly ok with her husband dating my daughter. After all, she was dating on the side too. When I tuned to look at him, he was smiling and told me.. "Oh don't worry, I have been fixed, there will be no children. And I do not plan on getting divorced." I left before I said something that I should not have. I could only think that if they were both dating other people, why did they even get married? In raising my daughter, I taught her that you do not "Poach other women's men" end of story. The man is a sleazeball. Now what do I do? I would have told the predator, "There will be no dessert. In fact, you're finished eating. If you're still hungry, swing by Walmart and get yourself something. I'll be in the other room to get my Smith and Wesson. It needs cleaning." Yes, I did cure my Stage 4 cancer in two weeks when I was 48. I also reversed my chronic kidney disease (glomerulonephritis) when I was 25. In neither case were any medical treatments involved. |
Booger Cancer User ID: 68246264 United States 04/02/2015 04:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Excuse me...she was eating her mother's food that she prepared. It's both presumptuous, narcissistic and rude to impose on another while withholding news like that. Had her mother known beforehand, they wouldn't have been over for dinner. Yes, I did cure my Stage 4 cancer in two weeks when I was 48. I also reversed my chronic kidney disease (glomerulonephritis) when I was 25. In neither case were any medical treatments involved. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 66253616 United States 04/02/2015 04:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Straight up, you need to protect your daughter. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794896 If this were my family (HIGHLY unlikely), I would have his legs broken and a generic message passed that he is plowing in the wrong field and subsequent visits would get increasingly worse. Do not do this yourself. Be in the presence of a few dozen other people at the time it goes down so as to have an alibi. You will likely be able to hire a few hard hittin' naggars to do the job for nothing more than a sack of weed and bottle or Patron. Your job is not to be your daughter's FRIEND. Your job is to be her PARENT, a job that never stops regardless of her age. Protect her. ^^^THIS^^^ |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 68768509 United States 04/02/2015 05:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 54680271 United States 04/02/2015 05:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17567763 United States 04/02/2015 05:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 62245309 United States 04/02/2015 06:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | lol no one read the original post. the wife doesnt have an issue with it so there is no issue. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31310212 For an amoral scumbag like you perhaps there is no issue. amoral? and how is it amoral exactly? amoral in your subjective opinion. you must be a member of one of the abrahamic religions. ignorant and self righteous. morality should be really simple. do not hurt another person. physically or psychologically. do not violate the will of another person. do what you want but harm none is the best morality there is. was an old pagan saying before satanists took it and made it simply do what thou wilt. excluding the harm none part. theirs is do what you want even at the expense of others. your kind, the religious want to lord over other people with a sense of superiority. you fuck everything up with your self righteousness. you have a problem with love and sharing love. you have a personal problem. ego and jealousy plagues you and that is why you can never share a loved one with someone else. But this girl is doing harm. She is harming her parent, if no one else. You maybe doing harm too, with your judgmental and self righteous post. You used your subjective opinion to decide you had the right to give your view on morality. That's one of the most asinine comments I've ever read. The poster only gave their view on morality after you called him/her an amoral scumbag. I think the poster nailed it - you are a self righteous prick with a superiority complex. Get over yourself. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 68773369 United States 04/02/2015 06:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Somewhere along the line your daughter watched one hour too much TV and sat in on one too many liberal college professor psych lectures. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794580 I've always thought the answer lies in exterminating the subhuman subversive trash that is currently steering this society. In a healthy, sane society devoid of jews, homosexuls, degenerates and what we call today "intellectuals," I don't think that kind of thing even crosses the mind of a normal White person. I don't know that 100% for sure but I see no harm in trying. I vote to exterminate you first-.00001% less trash! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 68697285 United States 04/02/2015 07:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 64966824 United States 04/02/2015 07:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37579514 United States 04/02/2015 07:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Straight up, you need to protect your daughter. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794896 If this were my family (HIGHLY unlikely), I would have his legs broken and a generic message passed that he is plowing in the wrong field and subsequent visits would get increasingly worse. Do not do this yourself. Be in the presence of a few dozen other people at the time it goes down so as to have an alibi. You will likely be able to hire a few hard hittin' naggars to do the job for nothing more than a sack of weed and bottle or Patron. Your job is not to be your daughter's FRIEND. Your job is to be her PARENT, a job that never stops regardless of her age. Protect her. ^^^THIS^^^ ...oh please. That won't fix her daughter. She is just as guilty. Unless she's like 16, but that doesn't sound like the case. |
Lil Sis User ID: 11213558 United States 04/02/2015 10:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Straight up, you need to protect your daughter. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68794896 If this were my family (HIGHLY unlikely), I would have his legs broken and a generic message passed that he is plowing in the wrong field and subsequent visits would get increasingly worse. Do not do this yourself. Be in the presence of a few dozen other people at the time it goes down so as to have an alibi. You will likely be able to hire a few hard hittin' naggars to do the job for nothing more than a sack of weed and bottle or Patron. Your job is not to be your daughter's FRIEND. Your job is to be her PARENT, a job that never stops regardless of her age. Protect her. ^^^THIS^^^ ...oh please. That won't fix her daughter. She is just as guilty. Unless she's like 16, but that doesn't sound like the case. If this daughter is anything like my daughter, she developed a mind and a life of her own shortly after she graduated from high school. She became an adult, with a job in another state and place of her own. In short, she was making her own decisions and some of them had some painful repurcussions. I have been her parent all along, but not her keeper or her boss. Last Edited by Lil Sis on 04/02/2015 10:18 PM ************************************************************************ Corruptisima re publica plurimae leges. ~ Terence |
Elfsong (OP) User ID: 68804893 United States 04/03/2015 12:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Assuming your daughter is an adult, there's not much you can do about it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21351810 You can express to her your disgust, and not support it in any way, like not inviting them to your house. Unfortunately, she'll have to fall on her ass to learn her lesson the hard way. ^this I can't believe the guy STATED he was "fixed!!!!" That is disgusting! Even if my husband got "fixed" I don't think I'd tell my mom, I surely wouldn't tell the mother of my girlfriend and oh, by the way, I'm also married. Geesh, I'm sorry OP. Yes, let her fall on her ass. Life has its consequences. But at least he's "fixed." I have tried to tell her that like a gun, there is no such thing as an 'unloaded man'. working with Positive Thoughts will result in Positive Outcomes. |