My first grandbaby was Stillborn - We are devastated

I am sincerely sorry. Hard to keep back the tears. My first wife had 4 miscarriages. It was hard on us both. My first was a boy. She was 4 months along. The others we lost before we knew the sex.. Again I'm really sorry...

I send prayers and love to all of you! God bless that baby!

A fetal demise would not be an emergency unless they lost the fetal heartbeat at the hospital, as in they had a heart beat and then it was gone. A fetal heartbeat that is not there for longer than 4 minutes, there is nothing they could do. I don't see risking future pregnancies and the well being of the mother when they couldn't do anything to help this poor baby...

My five stars is for saying Im sorry for your childs loss of a child that would be your grandbaby. Man. And I bitch about traffic.............

My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur family during this devastating time. I'm truly sorry u and ur family have to experience such loss.

So sorry OP. My wife and I went through recurrent miscarriage before we had our son. We had 3 back to back losses. It;s not the same thing, as in our losses all happened between 10-12 weeks, but we were still devastated. My wife went to a loss support group for a long time with other women who had lost babies. It was Christian based and they treated all losses, regardless if they were very early or a baby that was born healthy and alive and died after 9 months, the same. The focused on the loss and grief and not trying to one up each other by who had it worse since they were further along. Since it was a Christian based group they felt that life started at conception and all life was equal. After going to the group my wife did say that as hard as our losses were she was grateful that she was not further along than she was. Then when she got pregnant with our son she was termed she would lose him the entire time.

I am so very sorry for your family's loss. That is truly tragic. I hope that you and your family will seek out support from the loss community. They really do make a difference. That loss group saved my wife's sanity. Our 3 losses were the lowest point of both of our lives.

We had a stillborn child. I thought I was going to die and I just laid on the floor crying for months. Then I started reading metaphysics and I came to understand that the months a baby soul is alive with the mother mean something to that soul. It wasn't wasted time. And the pregnancy meant something important to the mother, to the entire family. It stimulates a kind of spiritual growth that could not have been produced any other way and always unique to the family situation. You will live through this and understand in time that the entire event was a gift to all of you. Please believe this because it is true.

We had a stillborn child. I thought I was going to die and I just laid on the floor crying for months. Then I started reading metaphysics and I came to understand that the months a baby soul is alive with the mother mean something to that soul. It wasn't wasted time. And the pregnancy meant something important to the mother, to the entire family. It stimulates a kind of spiritual growth that could not have been produced any other way and always unique to the family situation. You will live through this and understand in time that the entire event was a gift to all of you. Please believe this because it is true.

Prayers going up for you and the family

You will be reunited by Jesus Christ

I went through this 41 years ago. My oldest daughter, Laurel, was stillborn. I never got to hold her, or say goodbye.Things were different 41 years ago, compared to today, where they will let the Mom and family say their goodbyes. All I got was the autopsy report, which was inconclusive as to the cause of death.
You and your son will make it through all of this. I know it is rough. The worst is when you get home from the hospital, and look into the baby's room, and realize that they are never coming home.
I gave all of my baby stuff to a friend of mine that was expecting her first child. I didn't want to look at it. It was just too hard.
Life does go on, but you never forget the one you lost. I am now a Mom of 3, and a grandma of 6. But, I will never forget Laurel's day, February 17, 1974. Every year, I remember, but I still go on. You have to go on no matter what. You commemorate their short time here by living the rest of your life, but keeping them forever in your heart. With Faith, I know, that one day I will see Laurel again. You will see your grandson one day, too.

I am so sorry you have to be going through this. There is nothing as horrible as losing a child or a grandchild. You and your family are in my prayers.

My Prayers to you and your family

My heart and prayers are with you

Thanks so much for sharing your story...and to everyone else here who has shared such hope and love and grief... This process is definitely purposeful... it is mending a rift between myself and my son and bringing him closer to his siblings as well. I think Spencer is healing the whole family by choosing to leave...
It still doesn't make it any easier. I decided to dedicate myself to be there for my son & D-I-L in a way I wasn;t okay with before...

oh...he was so beautiful! *sob* I still keep seeing his beautiful little face, and how soft his skin was. He had his mother's nose, and my son's hair & hands...and we think he would have had my mother's brown eyes..... just, gutwrenching...

Thanks for the insight. I know he had a greater purpose. and an Intuitive friend tell me his soul is definitely connected to this family, and he's going to return... it's just that he was "needed" somewhere else right now.

...and I keep thinking of my beloved grandmother Beulah holding him up in Heaven....

Last Edited by Bansheegrrl on 04/22/2015 10:56 PM

Your family is in our prayers tonight.
For the mother of the little child, we send love.

The wife and I have 6 grandchildren, 3 from our son and 3 from our daughter.
Our daughter had 2 miscarriages, I think of them 2 little ones every day. I’m going to love meeting them some day.

Stay strong for your son and his wife.

OP, Please listen to

HELD by Natalie Grant on Youtube


I don't know how to imbed it here - or perhaps not as a non-member anyway.


God bless you all, I hope the song brings you all healing.

wow...I will definitely share this with the kids when they can handle it

Spencer can now intercede for all of your family in paradise. He can see who is in need of great spiritual hello. Watch for coincidences and little signs along the way. Maybe this is Gods way to get everybody really crying out to Him before the total end times are here and everyone is caught totally ill-prepared. Light a candle every night forcSpencer and everyone say a quick prayer for him. God will reward all of you especially your Tweens and your son.

Spiritual help not hello, haha

I suffered a miscarriage at one point Bansheegrrl. It is just devastating. There really are no words and grieving is definitely a process that has to be fully played out. I will pass on to you what comforted me to really and deeply learn during that time. It is the only gift that I can give you beyond my prayers and love.

If you seek God, and you ask for His guidance and blessings and influence in your life, and you open your mind and senses to hear Him speak to you when you need it most, then you will know God’s will because He will make His will known. Not necessarily in our time but in His perfect timing. It is up to each of us to listen. If you choose not to ask, and you choose not to listen it is as always a choice you make. Ask God for what it is you need and He will provide – seek and ye shall find. If you are like I was and you don't know what to ask when the pain is to deep cry out and just let your tears speak for you. These are the days when we look back with the passage of time and realize He had us wrapped in His loving arms and our tears were His as well.

That little one now wants or needs for nothing nor ever will. Your family members that have passed on cradle Him along with the Most High. There are no tears, no more sadness. He is perfect now and will be waiting for all of you. He is your perfect little angel looking out for you.

** THE WILL OF GOD **

The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

I am praying for your heart to be mended and made whole again. I am praying for sense to be made from what seems unsensible. For peace and calm in the middle of the storm and loving arms to carry you. Much love and may God's blessing rain down upon you all in your time of need.

We are baptized bLutheran and I myself am very much into the way of the Native American Medicine Wheel...so Speaking with Great Spirit is not lost on me.

If anything, this baby has brought out family togehter in a way we could have not expected. My Sons are loving like brothers and my daughter in law and I are sisters in motherhood & grief in different ways...

Thank you for your love and prayers

Wow Banshee I am so moved by the outpouring of comfort sent your way. I pray that you and your son and daughter find the path to healing and find many reasons to smile again.

My first child, daughter Michelle Lynne was stillborn. I had a perfect pregnancy, but when labor started I knew something was wrong. Back in the day, 1969, they did things differently. When I got to the hospital she didn't have a heartbeat. I was immediately put under. I never saw her. To this day I have no idea what caused her death. That was a bad time. I had another lovely daughter, but always wish my 2nd daughter had had her big sister.

Hugs to you !

You all are in our prayers here, my youngest son died the similar fate last year. :(

Still hard when I think of him dressed up and wrapped in a blanket even though he was already gone.

To everyone who has shared their own story of loss... thank you. I also send you all hugs and prayers as well.

I am grateful for the space here to share with you and grieve together. Some posters have said I'm wrong for posting personal stuff and asking for replies from strangers...but you aren't all strangers to me, and this sharing of grief is so very valuable as part of the process.

again, thank you for just being here and listening.

They go home from the hospital today, now the REAL work of grief & healing begin...it's gonna take some time. My younger kids got to visit last night and see pics and cry with their brother, if anything this baby has brought us all so much closer together in love & support...he definitely had a purpose, LOVE

....The Dr. said they might have found a possible cause. Microscopic bloodclots in the umbilical cord & placenta... (very rare 2-3 out of 10,000)
They sent the placenta & cord to UCSF for further testing and confirmation.

the good news is that it's treatable for the next pregnancy, and we'll be requesting additional tests for the mum to make sure she's okay and doesn't have any danger to herself.

I dunno, having an answer *does* kind of make it better, even though we are still going thru waves of grief.

Hang in there!!

I would never share something so personal with the weirdos and idiots on here.