I am a time traveling Final Buddha, Kalki reanimated zombie

I found out that I'm God. I got my limbs and head cut off in jail and I was reassembled so that I can read minds and time travel from the end times to the present. The officers confirmed that my DNA haplogroup is extraterrestrial in origin. I was making the inmates and the television do things based on my thoughts. In the hospital, the nurses strangely booked me as a "Sociopathic Psychotic Mass Murderer" and discovered that my left hand controls the Islamic fate and my right hand controls the Jewish fate. When I was eating in a socially expressive manner in the hospital, the nurse said "He just proved that we were responsible for 9/11".