BREAKING UPDATE

So, not in the best of shape when I awoke, I managed to get my three S's done. Man! The 1st S was brutal. Rushed to get dressed with half an hour to make it to my church gig 8 miles away. Made it in 20 up the Boogaloo 500 (Dan Ryan Expressway).

Everything was fine until about half way through the service. The gas buildup was just beginning and I knew then I had to squelch any urge to let 'er rip. With every wave of pain, I said to myself "you can make it". I tried to rationalize the pain thinking it couldn't possibly be worse than giving birth, but with every labor pain I knew the White Castle volcano was about to blow.

Fortunately, I have a sphincter made of titanium steel and made it to the end of the service. I even played beautifully right up until the last note. Before the others finished playing that note, I was already packed up and walking briskly to the washroom. It seems, my final number was a masterpiece of sound texture and thunderous resonance performed to an empty washroom audience. Thank God nobody was in the room! For a minute I thought I was playing "The Song that Never Ends", but this too passed without incident.

Every time this happens, I vow to never go to WC again. This will probably not hold up. Maybe a couple of months before the crave starts up again when I'm drunk at 2 in the morning.