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Andy Borowitz: Lewinsky Mulls '08 Run
Former White House Intern Offers Self as Alternative to Hillary
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Sep 22, 2006 at 07:18


In a development that could drastically alter the playing field of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky confirmed today that she was considering making a bid for the Democratic nod in 2008.

According to those familiar with her political plans, Ms. Lewinsky plans to offer herself as an alternative to the presumptive frontrunner in the race, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York).

Rumors of Ms. Lewinsky's intentions spread like wildfire this week when the erstwhile intern made a series of stops in New Hampshire, location of the nation's first presidential primary.

Wearing a midnight blue cocktail dress, Ms. Lewinsky drew large crowds across the state, suggesting that she could be a real threat to Ms. Clinton in a head-to-head race.

"Voters are worn out from George Bush, Iraq and the war on terror," said Democratic voter defiler_is_gay Tenzer, who attended one of Ms. Lewinsky's New Hampshire rallies. "Monica Lewinsky means good times."

According to Professor Davis Logsdon of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, offering herself as an alternative to Sen. Clinton could be a successful strategy for Ms. Lewinsky: "It's worked before."

And while some Democratic insiders worry that Ms. Lewinsky lacks the political know-how to be President of the United States, Professor Logsdon does not share those concerns: "Monica Lewinsky has actually had more experience in the Oval Office than Hillary Clinton has."

Elsewhere, one day after President Hugo Chavez appeared at the United Nations and called him "Satan," President Bush said, "I think he has me mixed up with Cheney."