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Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery

 
Major Asshole
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10/04/2015 03:17 PM
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Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Barack Obama Undergoes Asshole Surgery

Washington D.C. – Barack Obama has announced that he has undergone surgery to receive a larger asshole.

“I just felt like I had outgrown my old one,” the President told reporters. “It was holding me back. I have more antagonistic, disgusting Hollywood arrogance inside me, but I just couldn’t express it properly. With my new expanded asshole, I will finally be able to do myself justice and finish my term in Office.”

The surgery, which took only an hour, is the first of its kind, although judging from the buzz in DC, will likely not be the last. Politicians from Harry Reid, John Kerry and Nancy Pelosi to Governor Jerry Brown have expressed interest in the procedure. Interestingly, as excited as D.C. gets about new surgeries, they have yet to rally behind another new procedure that promises to enlarge the brain.

“We kind of prefer not to know how the real world works,” an anonymous politician confessed. “That allows us to spend our time championing pathetic causes and being progressive and unrealistic, while still feeling relevant.”

Obama's doctor was impressed by the simplicity of the surgery. “I think the President was the perfect candidate for the procedure’s debut,” he said. “My work was made easy by the raw material already there.”
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:19 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Awesome!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:20 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
chuckle
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:22 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


Eat some cheese fool!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:23 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
meanwhile in the waiting room:billmechelle:
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:23 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
He needs to add slots so multiple people can have their head up his ass at the same time.
brassbat

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10/04/2015 03:24 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Bammy
jjjjj
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/04/2015 03:41 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
He needs to add slots so multiple people can have their head up his ass at the same time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70480782


He's already done that
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 03:55 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
He was a big enough asshole in 2008. Damn !
Loup Garou

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10/04/2015 04:03 PM

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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Listening to Rense now and he is talking about a report from Wayne Madsen that indicates that Obama and Emanuel are members of a gay bath house in Chicago called Man's Country that is operated by Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

[link to www.waynemadsenreport.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 977656


Thread: According to Wayne Madsen Obama and Emanuel are members of a gay bath house in Chicago

I suppose he formed Hemorrhoids from all that rough ASS play.
 Quoting: Loup Garou

Just because YOU don’t believe
in the Rougarou; or the Loup Garou, don’t make you safe; No !

The Constitution is a blend of 'moral certitude' -- which is one of the reasons that criminals are determined to be rid of it and We the People must be even more determined to defend it.

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." - Thomas Paine

The only thing the Illuminati fears is an independent person who can live, eat, sleep, stay warm and defend themselves separate from Federal help. Pray that the Lord gives us more time! The End is near and time is short!

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ~Proverbs 18:2


For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" - James Keller

Checkd, Keked, and Rekt!
Loup Garou

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10/04/2015 04:03 PM

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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143

sarcasm12
Just because YOU don’t believe
in the Rougarou; or the Loup Garou, don’t make you safe; No !

The Constitution is a blend of 'moral certitude' -- which is one of the reasons that criminals are determined to be rid of it and We the People must be even more determined to defend it.

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." - Thomas Paine

The only thing the Illuminati fears is an independent person who can live, eat, sleep, stay warm and defend themselves separate from Federal help. Pray that the Lord gives us more time! The End is near and time is short!

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ~Proverbs 18:2


For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" - James Keller

Checkd, Keked, and Rekt!
gomeroski

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10/04/2015 04:07 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
I had heard that Obama went to a psycho-proctologist, which is a doctor who can remove your head from your ass.

However the doctor commented that Obamas had progressed to a terminal stage and there was nothing that could be done.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/04/2015 04:12 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
He was a big enough asshole in 2008. Damn !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 62002766


He is bigger now
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 04:18 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143




scream
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 04:24 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Did they find the poor gerbil too ?
gomeroski

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10/04/2015 04:26 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Did they find the poor gerbil too ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70407818


Yes, it was wrapped in duct tape so it wouldn't fall apart when they inserted it.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/04/2015 05:13 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Did they find the poor gerbil too ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70407818


Yes, it was wrapped in duct tape so it wouldn't fall apart when they inserted it.
 Quoting: gomeroski


Now that's funny!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 05:14 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


Invite more Muslims to your home and stfu
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 05:19 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Oh ffs, he didn't need surgery for that.

Just had to find someone with a bigger fist than Mooch.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 05:31 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


Huh???? Sometimes the stupidity level here at GLP reaches a new high - like just now when you posted this idiocy.

How many UAV missiles has he launched, killing people; killing Americans!

This Iran nuke deal has already started a nuclear arms race in the middle east and will end up in a full-scale nuclear exchange. Millions will die.

The current war in Syria is all on 0bama. ISIS is on him. Libya is on him. Egypt is on him. He's started more fucking wars than anyone in history. He's waged a war on coal, a war on the constitution, a war on the economy and a war on the US dollar for Christ's sake! You are a fucking idiot!
JypsieWind

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10/04/2015 05:34 PM

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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


Lol.
JypsieWind
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10/04/2015 07:25 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


Huh???? Sometimes the stupidity level here at GLP reaches a new high - like just now when you posted this idiocy.

How many UAV missiles has he launched, killing people; killing Americans!

This Iran nuke deal has already started a nuclear arms race in the middle east and will end up in a full-scale nuclear exchange. Millions will die.

The current war in Syria is all on 0bama. ISIS is on him. Libya is on him. Egypt is on him. He's started more fucking wars than anyone in history. He's waged a war on coal, a war on the constitution, a war on the economy and a war on the US dollar for Christ's sake! You are a fucking idiot!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70470736


well said
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 09:29 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
I knew this would be a good thread. :D
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/04/2015 10:06 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
I knew this would be a good thread. :D
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70480769


The best thread

I'm a genius
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2015 10:23 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Michelle had a larger penile implant put in... Obama has been irritable
walker8989

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10/04/2015 10:42 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery

It's shameful to mock your president.

Mr Obama is a man of peace, he doesn't want war.

He kept America away from wars and conflicts.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45018143


This one already had the surgery it seems.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/05/2015 03:10 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Michelle had a larger penile implant put in... Obama has been irritable
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 69608695


LOL
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/05/2015 05:08 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
ok, any more comments?
Anonymous Coward
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10/05/2015 05:59 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Why, so he can speak a little louder???
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 02:25 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
Yep, the asshole just had asshole surgery to become a bigger fuckin asshole
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 02:29 PM
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Re: Barack Obama just announced he had asshole surgery
He had it converted to a vagina.
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