Thank you everyone for the prayers. The day has been hard. I can not turn off my mind. I try. I listen to music. does not help. I hear something and I am depressed again. Trying to read and something will trigger me again.

I know this does not help me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I am alone. Friends are non existent. I have a few in Australia (im in Tx even though my flag shows canada), but they too are going through issues and I dont want to burden them with my issues.

Health wise I am ok right now. I only fell twice today. My chest pain has gone away, but I had to take some nitro to help this morning.

I hate being here alone. I have prayed asking God to reveal to me what he wants. As I stated earlier it was a dream of my wife. I fell asleep again and another dream of her. Not to be gross. It was of us having relations.

I woke up the first time with chest pains. Second time I woke up with a massive head ache. Not sure what this is suppose to mean.

I spoke to someone today from work. It was our EAP line. Their words were to not talk to her at all. Not say a word. If she does come by do not speak to her. Wel, she has not been here at all NOR has sent me any texts or calls.

As i said. I am just tired. I am obviously depressed. I am alone. I have her cats here, but they can not talk.

Sorry for being such a downer here guys. I apologize fr the negative posts. I appreciate the prayers. I thank you for them. I thank those that prayed for my wife when she had her issues too.