Tiger, much love to you and your family. You're very strongly on my heart.

So, I feel this may be inappropriate, but I need to get this out so after waiting...I decided to go ahead and do so.

When I talked with my brother today, he sounded flatly exhausted. He's meeting with the doctors to talk about chemo tomorrow. He's well armed now with information on both sides of the coin regarding standard and non standard treatments. He's doing the alternatives -which were traditional until the last century- that I gave him. But he doesn't have a juicer. I asked if he were open to the juicing because a large part of beating this is nutritional and there is no way to consume enough good raw nutrients without juicing. He said they'd talked about it, but rearranging the counter might be an issue. His concern was it would upset his wife by taking up counter space to accommodate the machine.

So...that really upset me. But I didn't press the issue, just said okay, we'll revisit it later.

I called my Mom, who lives maybe 2 blocks from them -this is rural, so no blockage actually applies, and she will make the juice for him every day and just deliver it for him. She will also do some of the juice. So I bought it and it will be there and I'll bring a bunch of things to Mom and show her what to do.

So while the problem is solved, I am having a great deal of difficulty feeling loving toward my sister in law at the moment. If it were my husband, I'd rip the freaking kitchen apart if it could help him. Even tear up the floor. Or rip off the roof. Whatever.

I just don't and can't grasp it. So now I am upset.

Something as small as a juicer can't just be done because of upsetting the counter's balance?...Arrrgh.

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. I know I just have to give it to the Father and just move ahead, but now there's a struggle in my heart.

Sorry so long...I guess it really just shows how things are kind of connected in a way.

And he is going to decide his own course of treatment and I support him completely whatever path he chooses. He is the one who needs to feel good about his decisions.