Mad World

I had the choice to continue to accept my daughters' mother getting sacked in my home by another man while she lied to me and persisted to have me believe her affection for him was a hallucination.

I refused and kicked her out.

And then took her back into my home when she realized the hell of the only out she had and has since wanted nothing to do with him.

She's one of my best friends despite it all - leaving me to be with three different men. Leaving me to take on full custody of our daughters. Leaving me to be the only financial supporter, the only provider, the only unbreakable rock her life has ever known.


Don't fret precious, I'm here,

step away from the window

and go back to sleep

go back to sleep

back to sleep

to sleep

sleep

as long

as you're still

too fucking weak

to give too many fucks

for the fucks given to others by others


fucking is not love and there is nothing sacred about fucking and there is no need for fucking to express unconditional love

seek forgiveness and unconditional love, not vengeance and romantic attachments, if your soul has value

or wait for the worms that you become through the grinder

you always have a choice

Oh and it doesn't mean "we win".

I will never serve you. I will not join your military. I will watch if any war breaks out. I will laugh with the rest of the world.

Good luck trying to assassinate me again.

How many time has it been? We past ten attempts while I was in Iraq in 2004. Can't kill me can you? I want to see you try again. Let push the war God out yeah?

I think we have reached the end of what war can teach us as a species.

9/16/11

I was dreaming that I was walking outside an assembly of Christians.

They were walking into it, the building. I was observing this. I noticed a dirty

child around 11 run by through the parking lot, with a woman chasing him

with a frying pan in her hand. She caught up to him and hit him in the back of his head!

I watched this in horror, while others kept walking by ...going into the assembly hall

not even looking at the boy in distress. So I chased after them, and caught up the

woman and shielded the boy with my arms and yelled "leave this boy alone!!! I yelled to others to call 911!!! They just looked and keep

following others to the building. They all looked like business men and women, the men reminded me of agents for the C.I.A with their dark glasses

and blank looks.



The woman left with an "I DON'T CARE LOOK" , and I asked the boy what happened, and who is this beast hitting you?

He answered..

"Its my mom, she always hits me. I looked at all the bruises he had and hugged him, and told him

that this is the last day anything like this will ever happen to him again!!! I was going to help him

if it is the last thing I ever did!


I walked the boy to the building

the christians were at and took the boy for the first aid room. In there was all kinds of young pretty

women and older pretty pampered women, the mothers of the girls just sitting around doing nothing...

I asked for help for the hurt boy who was bleeding all over me, and they just looked at me with a glazed stupid

look on their face. One of the pretty young ones walked up to me and said, "look at my pretty dress,

and then she said...check out how tan I am, and she pulled her sleeve aside so I could see how tan her arm is. Then she

pulled her dress way up and showed me how tan her legs were!

Then all the women got up and started doing the same thing, showing me the tans they had!


I said you must have a lot of time on your hands to lay around getting tanned, when there is more important things

to be done, like take care of the orphans and poor ones!!!!



This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: The people are saying, ‘The time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.’”

Then the Lord sent this message through the prophet Haggai: “Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins? This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you! You have planted much but harvest little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty.


“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you! Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my house. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored, says the Lord.

You hoped for rich harvests, but they were poor. And when you brought your harvest home, I blew it away. Why? Because my house lies in ruins, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, while all of you are busy building your own fine houses. It’s because of you that the heavens withhold the dew and the earth produces no crops.

I have called for a drought on your fields and hills—a drought to wither the grain and grapes and olive trees and all your other crops, a drought to starve you and your livestock and to ruin everything you have worked so hard to get.”




Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24

May God provide the increase.

:mintymother:

When the ones who have taken my wife from, abused and soiled her, are found and stand before me.

Bullshit. This isn't how a leader grows. I hear you now claiming you have enslaved me. No intention of helping this grow, you all want it dead.

This is how a ravage caged beast builds up a bloodlust for its captors.

I look in the mirror and see a lover everyday. It's not enough.

So here it is. I hate this human world. It is disgusting.

Since I will have the power to do so, I vow I will tear this shit down, exterminate your masters, and rebuild this world so it can join the rest of our race.