No one had seen or heard from the tard for many years now.
Rumours had spread since the pink spandex hot pants were found , in a seedy back ally littered with empty scotch bottles.

One man, known as Knob Oddy, was believed to have found the opal ocarina and was using it to Peter pipe the people into buying him cheese burgers and beer and baggies of the XJ-13 chronic strain. If he only knew the power of the ocarina, the world would never be the same again.

He was under heavy watch from homebland security, but they feared, and dared not get too close for he might blow hard, leaving skeet marks all over the face.

So long as it was just cheeseburgers, beer and chrondo, they had time to find the tard and return his beloved tuner of the stars.