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Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?

 
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:36 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
get outdoors and into
nature

walk talk





and listen
Gelatinous Mass

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12/19/2015 10:38 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
don't listen to that pussy advice about find out what's important to them


listen

you're a grown ass man you're supposed to be the eagle scout know what you're doing. If you don't know what you're doing then that should be a wake up call that maybe you should learn what you're doing and take advantage of the opportunity that your shit wife is out of the picture not bringing you down with her shittiness. But if you want to be shitty and try to figure out how to lead your kids by giving them the leash connected to the collar around your neck then you won't get respect from your kids or yourself

want to be cool? learn about the outdoors, kids love camping. Learn that shit, besides it'll be useful when shtf.

Whatever you do don't start trying to date other women. It will fail I can already tell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70393062



There is wisdom in the above post if you can sift through poor grammar and punctuation.

Sitting in front of the TV with the kids is poor use of time.

Get them out of the house. Engage with them.

Do not ask permission from the other half.

In fact, say nothing of your nightly plans.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:40 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Long story short: Wife decided to go out and have herself a midlife crisis after 20 years of marriage. Racked up a bunch of debt buying clothes and partying (while she told me she was a Bible study), ruined my credit rating, nearly fleeced me for $250K which is a story in itself, got a few boyfriends, etc.

During that time, I worked and she stayed at home with the kids. She was a lousy wife, but a good mom. We're doing joint custody of the remaining daughters who are at home ages 15 and 13. Our eldest is out of the house.

I dont get home until 6pm on the evenings I have them. And the ex has been their primary caregiver their whole lives. I find that our evenings together are spent primarily camped out watching NetFlix, them texting various friends and love interests, and then going to bed.

What are some inexpensive things that I can do (other than board games) to help relate better to my kids so they don't feel like their time with dad is a drag?
 Quoting: TheBiss


Jesus christ, wish i had a dad to hang with. Take them hunting! Pheasant is delicious! Show them how defeather a bird! Play video games with them! Im starting to cry because my father's love interest stole my daddy away :'( and his love interest wont let me see him for fear that he might include me in his will. Everything is generally terrible.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56758845


Oh, jesus. Does anyone have any remedy for this pain? Maybe a song, a youtube video? Please, help.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56758845


Please, help. I feel like jumping from a high place. Only problem is: i have family who depend on/upon me,5a
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:42 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
How close are you to the ocean?

Off season rates are cheap and walking on the beach is good medicine.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:45 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
I'm there with you OP. My walkaway wife is a BDP and she spends out of control, racked up $10k in debt on hair replacement surgery but rents unpaid. Motoring, splitting, over spending. These are the behaviors of a BDP and she does them all. She plays games and "hostage-taking" with the kids.

It's been very challenging in dealing with my anger to not see all women and this femininist culture they profligate as being complicit in and enabling of her sociopathy.

I've never been so distrustful of women, vain shallow creatures that just can't keep their legs shut.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:51 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
What you're doing thus far, is called "parenting". Don't doubt yourself. Teenage girls go through a selfish faze. I can read you're still involved, asking questions, communicating (as best you can with teens). Sometimes, couch time is all that's needed. You're there. You're engaging. They hear you, even if they're heads are down on cell phones. Trust me, they hear you. Try new things, surprise them even if they think its teenage "lame", lol. What they will take from it, is time with Dad. Thats the most important. Don't pressure them about being open to your dating life either. Keep that your business until you meet someone you're serious about. hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:52 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
It's especially hard for a father/daughter relationship at that age.

You could always just come out and ask them if there's anything they'd like to do...
 Quoting: Anonymous-Girl


Mostly likely that's what Im going to have to do. We're going to see Star Wars tonight since they grew up watching the Prequels (Ugh).

The 15 year old is into classical music which is something I love as well, so we went to the ballet to see an interpretation of Holst's PLANETS Suite, but man alive those tickets were a wallet sucker. The 13 year old likes manga and anime. I've tried watching it with her, and the soap opera stuff she watches is no Speed Racer or Starblazers. (double ugh)
 Quoting: TheBiss


Play music with the 15yo. Get a cheap keyboard and play with her.

Get some drawing howto books for the 13yo, and draw some manga with her. Teach her how animation works and make some flip book anime.

Probably best to not let them attend "bible study."

As for yourself, physical activity and maybe working on projects at a coffee shop regularly.

rockon
nutmeg

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12/19/2015 10:52 AM

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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Long story short: Wife decided to go out and have herself a midlife crisis after 20 years of marriage. Racked up a bunch of debt buying clothes and partying (while she told me she was a Bible study), ruined my credit rating, nearly fleeced me for $250K which is a story in itself, got a few boyfriends, etc.

During that time, I worked and she stayed at home with the kids. She was a lousy wife, but a good mom. We're doing joint custody of the remaining daughters who are at home ages 15 and 13. Our eldest is out of the house.

I dont get home until 6pm on the evenings I have them. And the ex has been their primary caregiver their whole lives. I find that our evenings together are spent primarily camped out watching NetFlix, them texting various friends and love interests, and then going to bed.

What are some inexpensive things that I can do (other than board games) to help relate better to my kids so they don't feel like their time with dad is a drag?
 Quoting: TheBiss


Jesus christ, wish i had a dad to hang with. Take them hunting! Pheasant is delicious! Show them how defeather a bird! Play video games with them! Im starting to cry because my father's love interest stole my daddy away :'( and his love interest wont let me see him for fear that he might include me in his will. Everything is generally terrible.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56758845


Oh, jesus. Does anyone have any remedy for this pain? Maybe a song, a youtube video? Please, help.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56758845


Please, help. I feel like jumping from a high place. Only problem is: i have family who depend on/upon me,5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56758845


Hang in there, sweetheart! Be strong. Make your own money so you don't have to depend on his money when he dies. Rarely does a child win over dad's new love interest.

It might help to become interested in her...don't forget her birthday or Mother's Day. Make her like you. That's what I told my kids when my ex remarried after our divorce. I sometimes call the kids before her birthday and their dad's, reminding them of their birthdays. Respect her, even though it's difficult. As a result, my ex's wife really likes my children and grandchild. Everyone gets along well, and we all get together for holidays now....no hard feelings. Everything's good.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 12/19/2015 11:56 AM
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:53 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Make one night a week a board game night. Along with playing the game there will be lots of laughs and conversation. Make it fun with light hearted competition.
LuckyPyrate

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12/19/2015 10:53 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
I am nearly at the end of my separation myself, so I know what you are going through. My ex cheated on me with a guy she met off the internet through work. Classy right? I admittedly wasn't putting out because I was absolutely not attracted to her, mostly due to her bitch attitude and lack of interest in...anything I wanted to do.

Anyway, to the question at hand:

I am the father of identical twin boys who are three. You might think it is much easier at three to deal with separation and divorce, and it is, for the most part. But eventually you are going to have to answer hard questions. I think it is important to lay the ground work at least, right off. Define your separation through uniquely defining your space as yours and hers as hers. Explain your separation demonstratively versus verbally since it is a super complicated thing to understand even as a teenager.

The most important thing for you to do is make sure they understand the onus for your separation is on you and your wife, not them. Make sure above all else, they understand that it is grown up reasons for the separation and not because of them. Remember for a lot of kids bad things in the home are usually associated with their misbehavior, so it is not a creative leap to associate your separation with their misbehavior as well.

For my job I work with clients with technical issues, sometimes as a result of vendor error or mishandling. One of the most important tactics I have in my arsenal is "siding myself" with the client against the vendor. In the case of separation obviously you aren't trying to pit your kids against your wife, but make sure they understand that you are going through this together, and that you are on their side against the hardship inherent in separation, and encourage your wife to explain it in the same way.

I hope this helps, but you can always email me directly at [email protected] if you want to chat separately.
Life is Too Serious to Take Seriously

"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." ephesians 5:11

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mkarenh13

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12/19/2015 10:54 AM

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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
I have a 16 year old daughter. That age is kind of tough because they are wanting to be independent yet they still need parents and guidance. And wanting to stay on the damn phone with their friends.

I agree with what most everyone else said about doing things together...hikes, walks, cooking and having dinner together (and studies show that families that eat dinner together several times a week have better relations and the kids make better grades and get in less trouble) And changing tires and shooting are good too. I learned rather reluctantly from my dad growing up..i had to learn basic mechanics and how to change a tire and learn to drive a straight drive before I could get my license. I am grateful for that now. Teaching them to be independent is one of the best gifts you can give them. They may not appreciate it now, but they will later.

This time of year is probably hard for them too. Where I live there are several places with awesome Christmas light displays. Go do that. Usually they charge by the car and it's not too expensive. Or just take a drive and find and enjoy the lights and decorations.

My daughter goes to her dads two or three nights a week and spends most of her time in her room because he refuses to do things she likes. Even if it is something you don't particularly care for, just do it for the girls. They will appreciate it more than they will admit.

And yeah, hold off of the girlfriend stuff. My daughter really resented her dad moving someone in. It was an intrusion to her. I do my adult socializing when she is at her dads. If the day comes someone comes along that I feel could be permanent or measures up to my standards of being in her life, then I will.

Best of luck to you!
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:54 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.



come to the swamp
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:55 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
As a dad in your situation


My advice

Write them short emails texts or letters
saying you wanna hang out and you
know it's weird

Just break that ice

And learn their interests (video games or music)
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:55 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Long story short: Wife decided to go out and have herself a midlife crisis after 20 years of marriage. Racked up a bunch of debt buying clothes and partying (while she told me she was a Bible study), ruined my credit rating, nearly fleeced me for $250K which is a story in itself, got a few boyfriends, etc.

During that time, I worked and she stayed at home with the kids. She was a lousy wife, but a good mom. We're doing joint custody of the remaining daughters who are at home ages 15 and 13. Our eldest is out of the house.

I dont get home until 6pm on the evenings I have them. And the ex has been their primary caregiver their whole lives. I find that our evenings together are spent primarily camped out watching NetFlix, them texting various friends and love interests, and then going to bed.

What are some inexpensive things that I can do (other than board games) to help relate better to my kids so they don't feel like their time with dad is a drag?
 Quoting: TheBiss


You don't need to relate to them or be the best friend. Make sure they contribute to the household chores, are being responsible, and suffering consequences for disobedience. I.e take phones away, cut service, etc.

You're not here to please your children. Your here to teach them to become healthy, responsible adults. Unfortunately, most kids today are entitled, spoiled brats who expect things to be given to them without any real effort.

Just be yourself around them, op, but have very explicit expectations of them regarding their behavior. I know this will be difficult, especially if your is not on board or is purposely causing division.

Last, but certainly not least, is become a praying man if you're not already. Without God in your lives, peace will be non existent.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:56 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Please STOP breeding.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:58 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
In a similar situation, women are more trouble than they are worth! Get in nature with the kids and forget that bitch! I
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:59 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Go out and find them a new Mommy.

This time, go younger, skinnier, hotter, etc.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71055269


rockon
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 10:59 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.



come to the swamp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63535874


I have to agree with that part. As a teenage girl I didn't really 'hang out' with my parents other than on family trips. They also weren't prying into my friendships. I think I would have resented that because it would have made me feel like they didn't trust me. I came from a smallish town so they knew the parents of who I hung around with, and that's all they needed to know.

Doing activities with my Dad as a teenage girl? Never really happened other than skiing in the winter.
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 11:01 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.

You are either a woman or beta bitch male. Lots of times it is one person's fault

come to the swamp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63535874
nutmeg

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12/19/2015 11:02 AM

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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.



come to the swamp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63535874


rayof
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 11:07 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Learn how to cook and bake OP, and cook/bake outstanding meals with them!

If they dont' know how, it's time they learned and you guys can learn together and have a ton of fun doing it!

hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 11:08 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Start a family book club.

Here's a recomendation, however if this is not up your alley there are many others to chose from.

You will all benefit from the exersize.

[link to highfrequencyradionetwork.com]
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 11:09 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.

You are either a woman or beta bitch male. Lots of times it is one person's fault

come to the swamp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63535874

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63842986


You are either a woman or beta bitch male. Lots of times it is one person's fault


Husband AND Father ..care to figure out why I chose to put HUSBAND before FATHER?

Married 30 yrs and raised four kids.

As for the beta male comment. That term came into vogue when the "everybody gets a trophy" crowd took over.

Here is your trophy.

Or I could finish this post with an alpha male statement regarding the debate "whether or not 9mm is a good ccw".


LOL
nutmeg

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12/19/2015 11:09 AM

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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
MAN UP!!!!

Type on a conspiracy site lay blame on your spouse for YOUR failed marriage? Really? A failed marriage is always a two way street. PERIOD!

Now all you wanna do, is "be the best dad you can be"? Go fuck yourself. YOU failed at that many years ago.

Take up a bottle or sit in a honky tonk and cry baby cry.

Take a look in the mirror and find the problem (half). Starring back at "cha".

Now as for the kids wants? They sorely dont need a puss boy father leaching onto what is left of their childhood. You and the Misses ruined that for them already.

Here is some advice take it or leave it...

Find a hobby. Your kids will see a person who is becoming his own. Dont try to be a friend. Become a parent and in turn your kids will grow to respect you.


And to all the other posts with your wishy washy comments. Your are part of the big problem today.

take care OP and yes we all need to hear harsh words from time to time.



come to the swamp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63535874


I have to agree with that part. As a teenage girl I didn't really 'hang out' with my parents other than on family trips. They also weren't prying into my friendships. I think I would have resented that because it would have made me feel like they didn't trust me. I came from a smallish town so they knew the parents of who I hung around with, and that's all they needed to know.

Doing activities with my Dad as a teenage girl? Never really happened other than skiing in the winter.
 Quoting: Anonymous-Girl


When my girls were 13,14,15, all their friends met here. I knew what they were doing and who they were with. My husband was absent 90% of the time because he did his own thing (military).

They loved having their friends here in our home. I always fed them, and to this day, my kids still talk about all the good times and memories made here. I was also everyone's transportation to the skating rink, to the movies, and the swim/tennis club. They were good times.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 12/19/2015 11:15 AM
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2015 11:12 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
could be fun
wallylama
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12/19/2015 11:28 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?

I am a single dad of four kids...my oldest girls (twins) are nearly 14...I only have them every other weekend for now...I will be seeking full custody as this is their desire come January...I have an excellent relationship with my kids, my daughters especially... I have always endeavored to give them what I felt was lacking in my own relationship with my parents (also divorced): honesty, openness, open-mindedness, support, encouragement and acknowledgements of my love for them and my commitment to the development of THEIR person...we talk about EVERYTHING.. There are no secrets...I am open about all subjects and humble in my own flaws -



I like this advice. I'm a ten year divorced dad of two 18&15 son and daughter. We were married ten years and have been divorced ten this year. It's been tough and I have had to take a lot of abuse and hate from the mom over the course of it. My best advice echoes some people here. Always be honest and open with them. Your kids are beginning to be old enough to understanding issues and if not are very close to being there. They will at least remember whatever you say now. So you have to be open and honest and deal with issues as they come. Don't let things sit and fester. It allows kids minds to run wild determining how they see things, unless you frankly deal with issues and become the parent they can come to over anything and know they will get a truthful answer respecting them as people instead of children. Divorced kids grow up faster than other kids and should be treated as such. Remember that parenting doesn't stop at 18 it just changes. If you always have their respect you will always be the place they come with their problems and will always have an opportunity to be impactful in their lives. Stay strong. Never talk bad about mom.... you won't have to, as they get older they will see her more and more for what she really is. Connect with your kids by throwing yourself into things they feel as important. I try to create memories with concerts and trips that I know they will remember their entire lives. Took my son to see Roger Waters do the Wall and my girl to see Paul McCartney last year. Imparting a bit of myself in them, while I am still here to do so. Life is short create memories every day. Games are also a great way to get their guards down.

It will be ok. I know the pain from all the wrong doing that has been done to you but this is your chance to teach forgiveness. Your kids look to you to see how to react to things themselves in the future. Blessings on your journey. Sounds like you are a good dad. Smile and laugh everyday because even though your ex has brought you the most pain, she also brought you your greatest gift, your children.
i am
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12/19/2015 11:33 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Engage them in conversation about how they feel see the world your divorce and let them talk without judgment.And this is important listen with your heart.
Dr. Hoo

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12/19/2015 11:33 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
Long story short: Wife decided to go out and have herself a midlife crisis after 20 years of marriage. Racked up a bunch of debt buying clothes and partying (while she told me she was a Bible study), ruined my credit rating, nearly fleeced me for $250K which is a story in itself, got a few boyfriends, etc.

During that time, I worked and she stayed at home with the kids. She was a lousy wife, but a good mom. We're doing joint custody of the remaining daughters who are at home ages 15 and 13. Our eldest is out of the house.

I dont get home until 6pm on the evenings I have them. And the ex has been their primary caregiver their whole lives. I find that our evenings together are spent primarily camped out watching NetFlix, them texting various friends and love interests, and then going to bed.

What are some inexpensive things that I can do (other than board games) to help relate better to my kids so they don't feel like their time with dad is a drag?
 Quoting: TheBiss


I'm in a similar situation, friend, minus the credit card abuse (thank god). One crazy suggestion is to cook things with your kids. Eating one's own food is actually quite rewarding in many ways. Start easy, then challenge yourselves. Food brings people together, no?
Yours,
Dr. Hoo
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70909915
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12/19/2015 11:35 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
As a child of, truly, bad parents, I can tell you the best thing is to stop trying to be a dad....and just be one.

Plain and simple, most 'dads' don't want the job...even if they refuse to admit that to themselves...much less others.

Board games?...seriously?

A good start is for you to realize that these children are exposed to more by the age of 8 than you were by the age of 25.

Whatever you teach them, they will get second opinions from the internet...so they might be able to teach you a thing or two.

Their problems, follow them everywhere...thanks to that lovely internet....so it's hard for them to feel safe...anywhere.

Share with them...maybe the best way for you to relate to your children is to share some of your challenges and experiences...ya know...the real ones. Your kids know you aren't perfect....no sense in denying it.

Most of all, make sure they know that, no matter what, you will love them, and nothing can change that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63535874
United States
12/19/2015 11:40 AM
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Re: Newly single dad of 6 mos after 20 years of marriage. How do I relate to my kids?
As a child of, truly, bad parents, I can tell you the best thing is to stop trying to be a dad....and just be one.

Plain and simple, most 'dads' don't want the job...even if they refuse to admit that to themselves...much less others.

Board games?...seriously?

A good start is for you to realize that these children are exposed to more by the age of 8 than you were by the age of 25.

Whatever you teach them, they will get second opinions from the internet...so they might be able to teach you a thing or two.

Their problems, follow them everywhere...thanks to that lovely internet....so it's hard for them to feel safe...anywhere.

Share with them...maybe the best way for you to relate to your children is to share some of your challenges and experiences...ya know...the real ones. Your kids know you aren't perfect....no sense in denying it.

Most of all, make sure they know that, no matter what, you will love them, and nothing can change that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70909915




BAM!!!!


all other posts including mine are of no use. OP copy-paste and PRINT This!!!!!!!!!!!!


come to the swamp





GLP