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| 10:13 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,687 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 590,769 | |
| Pageviews Today: 928,038 | Threads Today: 372 | Posts Today: 5,116 |
| 10:13 AM | ||
Christmas dinner etiquette question | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 22241641  Canada12/25/2015 11:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71097906  United Kingdom12/25/2015 11:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| last one I just don't give a fuck  User ID: 60052792  United States12/25/2015 11:11 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.---Grandpa Rednecks, hillbillies, and cowboys will save the nation---me I dreamed I was drinkin', woke up and I was "we put our faith in maniacs"- Lemmy Kilmister |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71097906 United Kingdom12/25/2015 11:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 47799819 United States12/25/2015 11:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. I actually do what I call the "crescendo"style. Where it starts out relatively weak then builds to a roaring finish. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | the gas is coming from you wolfing down food like a dog. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47799819 Take your time chew your food properly and drink a glass of water during meal should help. It's not the food your eating giving you gas , its swallowing air while eating. This may be quite true in my case. I developed the habit of eating terribly fast from my time in the service years ago. I just can not take my time eating. It also drives me nuts when people eat slow. I just want to get in there face and start yelling at them to hurry the hell up.Old habits die hard. thanks for the advice |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71097906 United Kingdom12/25/2015 11:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. I actually do what I call the "crescendo"style. Where it starts out relatively weak then builds to a roaring finish.  |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71098282  Belgium12/25/2015 11:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| last one I just don't give a fuck User ID: 60052792 United States12/25/2015 11:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. I actually do what I call the "crescendo"style. Where it starts out relatively weak then builds to a roaring finish. Be VERY careful when approaching the higher octaves. Just sayin...... If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.---Grandpa Rednecks, hillbillies, and cowboys will save the nation---me I dreamed I was drinkin', woke up and I was "we put our faith in maniacs"- Lemmy Kilmister |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71052751 United States12/25/2015 11:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it's really that difficult for you to be civilized, then you should stay home. Realize that you are the uncouth American male parodied by Homer Simpson on 'The Simpsons' TV series. Quoting: Fergus Mor Mac Erc Funny you say that. those were almost the exact words my grandmama used on me last year. She said I was boorish and uncouth, that I was one of the great unwashed masses and that I was an uncivilized savage. She offered to actually send me to a finishing school for men in Switzerland but I balked at her offer. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. I actually do what I call the "crescendo"style. Where it starts out relatively weak then builds to a roaring finish. Be VERY careful when approaching the higher octaves. Just sayin...... They have white couches. I will not repeat that mistake again. |
| last one I just don't give a fuck User ID: 60052792 United States12/25/2015 11:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: last one Learn to play different tunes with your farts. They'll all love it. "When the Saints come marching in" is an easy one to start with. I actually do what I call the "crescendo"style. Where it starts out relatively weak then builds to a roaring finish. Be VERY careful when approaching the higher octaves. Just sayin...... They have white couches. I will not repeat that mistake again.  If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.---Grandpa Rednecks, hillbillies, and cowboys will save the nation---me I dreamed I was drinkin', woke up and I was "we put our faith in maniacs"- Lemmy Kilmister |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1791406 United States12/25/2015 11:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Fuck em OP. Just let it rip. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1791406 If you have a particularly foul and nasty one, just tell everyone it's the anal equivalent of an Oracle's Cookie thread. That is exactly how I feel. I heard the rumour of some woman who held in her farts and she died a gruesome smelly death after her insides exploded. Since that day long ago, as an ode to her I proclaim " Let fart be free!" |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 22241641 Canada12/25/2015 11:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71054270  Switzerland12/25/2015 11:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it's really that difficult for you to be civilized, then you should stay home. Realize that you are the uncouth American male parodied by Homer Simpson on 'The Simpsons' TV series. Quoting: Fergus Mor Mac Erc Funny you say that. those were almost the exact words my grandmama used on me last year. She said I was boorish and uncouth, that I was one of the great unwashed masses and that I was an uncivilized savage. She offered to actually send me to a finishing school for men in Switzerland but I balked at her offer. in switzerland we simply use a plug for idiots like you and hot glue it to your hairy hemorrhoids. works all the time! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1898519 United States12/25/2015 12:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I am about to embark on another Christmas dinner journey and do not want to ruin it yet again.It seems that everytime I eat turkey I get really bad gas.Rather than remove myself from the room in a hurry, try to keep it silent or attempt to hold it in until it bursts out silently, I do the opposite.I am a grown man ffs but I can't help lifting one leg, pushing it out as long and noisy as I can or just drawing attention to it. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241641 I won't even get into the smell, it is usually horrendous. Last year I actually made poor granny gag and barf on the table which led to a chain reaction kind of thing and completely ruined Christmas dinner. I have graciously been invited to dinner again this year but have been warned in advance that this will not be tolerated. They even offered to change my meal to avoid gas. Should I go or stay home?I really don't want to ruin xmas dinner again. You've been warned in advance?? What the hell did they say ??? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71097937 United Kingdom12/25/2015 12:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1898519 United States12/25/2015 12:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1898519 United States12/25/2015 12:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it's really that difficult for you to be civilized, then you should stay home. Realize that you are the uncouth American male parodied by Homer Simpson on 'The Simpsons' TV series. Quoting: Fergus Mor Mac Erc Funny you say that. those were almost the exact words my grandmama used on me last year. She said I was boorish and uncouth, that I was one of the great unwashed masses and that I was an uncivilized savage. She offered to actually send me to a finishing school for men in Switzerland but I balked at her offer. Swiss finishing school. Do they have a class on fart etiquette?  |
Trained Noticer Forum Moderator User ID: 66678209 United States12/25/2015 12:49 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Agreed! :barney-gtfo: For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. (Stuart Chase) It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. (Mark Twain) |
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