Runaway teen

That sounds like back home.

That's wrong man...

We want nothing from her. All big plans for her future are abandoned at this time. We pay for online private school, because the regular she didn't like.
She has pretty much (without being too spoiled) all that she needs.
We accept her being trans, no harasment at all.
We are always friendly with her friends. She hides her friends, she doesn't like people coming to our house, even her little brother's friends.
She gets all that she wants from us and gives almost nothing back, constant lies...and very, very aggressive
This girl that she is with is problematic, has been to psych yard a few times, has an eating disorder and so on...they are really not good together.

She is resisting very basic rules.

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You can´t be friends with your kids, by pampering them.
Your trying is obviously sufficating her.
They need to be taught first.

Give her rules, boundaries and talk with her,
when she comes back.
After that they can choose for themselves,
if they want to be in relationship with you or not.

Good luck OP!

It just gets harder and harder for kids to grow up. Stuff like didn't happen much back in the day. I wish you well.

y would anybody ever have a kid? she prolly prostitutes herself for drugs op.

No, she is clean, she is a bit reclusive.
So far, no alcohol, no drugs, no sigs.

Thanks, it is like a bad movie...

We do not pamper her.
We are lucky to be financially stable, but she is not spoiled in any way.
She has a laptop, that she needs for school and thats it.
She preffers to buy clothes from second hand stores, and she doesn't have many of those.
She gets lots of books and travel and sport/language classes.

She is expected to help around the house, help babysitting her brother etc.
We don't even have a tv in the house.
Something else is going on...

I'm glad mine are older and doing good. But here comes the grand kids.

Would you call the police? Someone else? She might come back tomorrow...who knows.

My husband is completely against involving any authority figure.
...or contacting her at this time.

I know...the worst is ehen people think that you can do anything sbout that.

My kids cant be more different.
My boy is kind, happy and very funny...everyone falls in love with him.
Very open, doesn't lie, the very opossite of our daughter.

I wish I had some thing good say. To help you

My first instinct after reading your story is to do what you said you felt like doing, i.e. nothing. Wait it out, don't panic, she can obviously take care of herself, or thinks she can, so let her.

The thing is, you can't MAKE her do anything at this point, all you can do is offer her options. Options like, come home if you can follow the rules, and don't if you can't. I love you either way of course.

Good luck and stay calm. It sounds like you've done your best at parenting her, so now the balls in her court, whether you like it or not.

you ARE helping me!

Last Edited by Lilac.Nights on 01/26/2016 05:10 AM

Thank you so much!
I'll listen to mu gut feeling .....and you
No seriously, thanks!

I hope all is good now. Any contact with her since she left?

may seem off topic, but have you tried WWOOF? little summer work on a farm of her choosing might be in everyone's best interest. that is if communications are returned

She didn't come back home.
She is still living with her girlfriend. Barely doing any school.
I discovered that her gf is doing night shifts at Target, so they spend most of the day together.
My daughter refuses to see us, i guess she is scared that we'll bring her home. She is having too much fun...no one is telling her what to do. She is awake all night, no one is nagging that she is not studying, or doing chores etc.
I dont know...im still extremly confused.
I never expected that my girl will just be...gone.
I offered multiple times dinners so we could see her (outside of the house),
But she always finds some excuse not to come, she stood us up one time.
Im very worried for her...
No indications for drugs/alcohol etc. yet.
I feel weird just living her to do what she is doing...but also i feel like involving police is just wrong and could have the wrong effect.
It is a struggle emotionally not only for my husband and I, but for our son as well. He is extremely attached to her and still gets watery eyed daily.

Thank you so much for asking!

I was thinking about something lime that, but unfortunately she will never do it. She doesnt want to fix anything, she just wants to play "house" with her girlfriend. The LAST think she wants is to work... That is what got us into this mess.

no offense your a terrible parent you don't know who or where her girlfriend is or lives this your fault you've ignored your child she most likely hates you amd think all the time you wasted not getting to know your own kid you only care now when shes gone? your work is done shell be fine amd I think you know it

I think about this a few times a week. I'm glad to here she is somewhat ok and in a somewhat safe place. Just keep on loving her and maybe she'll come back to your family.