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Going through a divorce. Need support.

 
Quetzal785
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User ID: 70633250
United States
02/14/2016 06:54 PM
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Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
Quetzal785
Coppercoal

User ID: 60466790
United States
02/14/2016 07:02 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Put your trust in Jesus! Read the book of John. Get to know the Savior! hugs

If you don't feel like reading. You can watch a dramatization of the Book of John word for word here:



You are loved. Seek out the creator God! hf
The big shots tried to hold it back; Fools tried to wish it away
The hopeful depend on a world without end; Whatever the hopeless may say
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2016 07:04 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
why you getting divorced? u have kids? how long married?
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2016 07:04 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
been there, done that.

This too shall pass. But for the love of God, DO NOT jump into another relationship right away. Get to know yourself again. Get back on your feet.
LadyJayne

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02/14/2016 07:09 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
been there, done that.

This too shall pass. But for the love of God, DO NOT jump into another relationship right away. Get to know yourself again. Get back on your feet.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71429620


Agreed. Today would have been my 32nd wedding anniversary. DON'T go from the frying pan into the fire. Be with yourself, get to know you and what you really want and need for a Good Long Time.

Personally, having been there, I have chosen to remain single. BEST THING EVER. But it took a good 10 years for me to begin to get over it....and I am still not over it. Single 20 years. No Regrets. hf

Last Edited by LadyJayne on 02/14/2016 07:09 PM
LadyJayne
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02/14/2016 07:10 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
been there and it hurts.

get a dog from a shelter. save a life and have a friend with unrequited love,

it helps.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 07:12 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Because you've felt all your upbringing and social value depended on pleasing and being valued by a woman. Now, that's changed, and it's time to look to yourself. Yes, it will be scary to swallow that red pill, but each day that goes by you better yourself and see you really didn't need another woman for complete happiness.

Good luck, and remember there's a lot more unhappy women than men out there today.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 07:13 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Going through a divorce is a bitch, but once the proceedings are done, and you're out of $16,000 that the lawyer now has...you will be fine. I was, and I am happier now than ever. (32 year marriage that I endured..."for the kids")
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 07:16 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I would be getting a divorce to be with my 34 year old mistress, I'm 48. Half your age plus 7 is the rule right :-) Can't because of financial situations, I we go on the occasional date with the 34 y/o and my wife is like my roommate now. We get along and understand that we're just not in love anymore after 25 years together. In a year the finances should be straightened out and we'll formally divorce.

It may be a blessing in disguise, don't view it all as negative. The biggest hit is in the wallet. Unless you were pussy whipped and think this is the only women in the world for you. I have news for you brother SHE IS NOT! There are 3.5 billion women in the world, it you want one they're out there.
Azila_Again

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02/14/2016 07:17 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
been there, done that.

This too shall pass. But for the love of God, DO NOT jump into another relationship right away. Get to know yourself again. Get back on your feet.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71429620


Agreed. Today would have been my 32nd wedding anniversary. DON'T go from the frying pan into the fire. Be with yourself, get to know you and what you really want and need for a Good Long Time.

Personally, having been there, I have chosen to remain single. BEST THING EVER. But it took a good 10 years for me to begin to get over it....and I am still not over it. Single 20 years. No Regrets. hf
 Quoting: LadyJayne


Not been single 20 years, more like 10. It does get lonely at times, but when I think back on being in a toxic marriage, alone is better.

This is a great time for you to really learn about yourself without the influence of another. It can be liberating if you allow.

I have always preferred to be partnered. Yet, am ok with not being so if it's not the right person.

Pray, peace is not as far away as you might think.hf
If they say it's true, it probably isn't.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 07:18 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Been through it too. It will pass,like all bad things...they come and go. Hang in there!
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2016 07:33 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Well because your life revolved around those former circumstances being present - and now that those circumstances have come to an end, you'll need to allow yourself the necessary time to adjust to the new scenery and develop new reference points...

"When one door closes, another one opens"

Letting go of the 'old' is not easy, but this paves the way for something new to enter your life... On to the next phase of your life...

sun
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53558235
United States
02/14/2016 07:36 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785



1.) Lawyer up, especially if kids are involved. Consultation is free.

2.) STAY AWAY from drugs & alcohol. Don't substitute something you thought was a positive, with a negative. D&A have no benefit to your life right now and will take you down a very dark path, no matter how much in control you feel.

3.) Start working out. Exercise releases endorphins in your brain that helps put you in a better mood and feel good about yourself. Not only that, the positive changes your body, confidence & attitude make will help draw other people to you like a magnet and eventually have more friends and get laid a lot more often, thus feeling much better about not being stuck in some crappy one-sided relationship. Boom.
Imp

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United States
02/14/2016 07:36 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Congrats!

hey, if it wasn't working, then this is a good thing!

i promise you, you will agree with me someday. so just agree today.

been there, done that, found the right wife. Only took five years after my divorce to find the right person... had fun, and frustration, looking.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70059804
United States
02/14/2016 07:37 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785



1.) Lawyer up, especially if kids are involved. Consultation is free.

2.) STAY AWAY from drugs & alcohol. Don't substitute something you thought was a positive, with a negative. D&A have no benefit to your life right now and will take you down a very dark path, no matter how much in control you feel.

3.) Start working out. Exercise releases endorphins in your brain that helps put you in a better mood and feel good about yourself. Not only that, the positive changes your body, confidence & attitude make will help draw other people to you like a magnet and eventually have more friends and get laid a lot more often, thus feeling much better about not being stuck in some crappy one-sided relationship. Boom.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53558235


^^^ This! Best advice you can ever get.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/14/2016 07:40 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Follow the song

Azila_Again

User ID: 70580194
United States
02/14/2016 08:04 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Well because your life revolved around those former circumstances being present - and now that those circumstances have come to an end, you'll need to allow yourself the necessary time to adjust to the new scenery and develop new reference points...

"When one door closes, another one opens"

Letting go of the 'old' is not easy, but this paves the way for something new to enter your life... On to the next phase of your life...

sun
 Quoting: WOLF*


Right. I never felt like my world was coming to an end. It was my routine (which good or bad) was coming to an end.

Change is always frightening. You will make it. You need this change to get to a better place. Don't fear it, grasp it.
If they say it's true, it probably isn't.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 54939849
Canada
02/14/2016 08:10 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
You're on GLP while you're wife is getting plowed by Chad...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68474440
United States
02/14/2016 08:13 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Because the world as you know it, is coming to an end. Only advice I can muster, is fill your time with friends. See the divorce through and then get back into the dating scene.
M1.618

User ID: 30281806
Canada
02/14/2016 08:15 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Prayers

hf
wmMmw
BTDT
User ID: 71326546
United States
02/14/2016 08:27 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Your world is coming to an end. The sooner you grasp that, the better it will be for you going forward. You have been living a life built around a primary relationship, encircled by other people who relate to you in that particular role. You will likely lose a lot of those friends, simply because they are unsure how to relate to you when you aren't a part of the "they" they have known.

I know this sounds shallow, but try not to take it personally when your friends hide in the shadows. You will find that, if they are true friends to you, they'll come around in time. Remember--this also means that part of their world is also coming to an end, and they have to deal with that at their pace, too.

This is a good time to constantly remind yourself that you cannot change other people, but you can change yourself. Whom do you want to be when you "grow up" now? You're about to start growing in a new direction. Please, please don't resort to mind-numbing and endless entertainment. Now is the time to get to know yourself as yourself, so please don't be afraid to do that!

All my best to you. It took me 5 years before I was ready to remarry, and it has been great now for 20 years. Take as much time as you need, and don't make getting into another relationship your priority--getting to know yourself should be your first priority, and everything else falls into place after that.

If you have a good friend who has known you for a long time, who can also bear listening to your struggles, take advantage of those opportunities as well--they help with the business of knowing yourself. You're worth the work, and the pain is like all pains--it will heal over time. Just know that it isn't unbearable, even though it might seem that way right now!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71326546
United States
02/14/2016 08:30 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
You're on GLP while you're wife is getting plowed by Chad...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 54939849


and you're a callous asshole!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 08:31 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
been there, done that.

This too shall pass. But for the love of God, DO NOT jump into another relationship right away. Get to know yourself again. Get back on your feet.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71429620


This is sage advice OP.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 08:32 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Never talk about it, Never involve friends or family and re-learn what you did before this life and all will heal in time.
digitalmonkey

User ID: 70514383
United States
02/14/2016 08:39 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
i am guessing you didn't want the divorce. it can be tough because everything changes. learning for everything not to be a reminder of what was. make new memories. stay busy. don't get into a new relationship for a while. take care of yourself. the right person for you will come into your life and this pain will fade over time.

if your a christian, get into a church.

exercise. different music. different routine. etc. find people to talk to. there are plenty of places online to find people like yourself.
I awoke to hear john 3:16 in a loud voice.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
02/14/2016 08:46 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
You're on GLP while you're wife is getting plowed by Chad...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 54939849


and you're a callous asshole!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71326546


We're both right.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/14/2016 08:49 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Quetzal785  (OP)

User ID: 70633250
United States
02/14/2016 08:53 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
why you getting divorced? u have kids? how long married?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70690468



We do have kids... been with her over 10 years been married for 3 years. She just decided she wasn't in love with me anymore. Started working and became more distant from me.
Quetzal785
Quetzal785  (OP)

User ID: 70633250
United States
02/14/2016 08:53 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
Thank you all for the support and advice. I really do appreciate it!
Quetzal785
ar-15 nut

User ID: 44044090
United States
02/14/2016 08:55 PM

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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
hf
A pissed off American veteran.

Socially maladjusted.crazy
Quetzal785  (OP)

User ID: 70633250
United States
02/14/2016 09:46 PM
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Re: Going through a divorce. Need support.
I know I will probably get a lot of negative comments, but hopefully there's someone out there who can give me good advice to help me get through this really hard time in my life.

Why does it feel like my world is coming to an end? Can someone help heal this pain?
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Your world is coming to an end. The sooner you grasp that, the better it will be for you going forward. You have been living a life built around a primary relationship, encircled by other people who relate to you in that particular role. You will likely lose a lot of those friends, simply because they are unsure how to relate to you when you aren't a part of the "they" they have known.

I know this sounds shallow, but try not to take it personally when your friends hide in the shadows. You will find that, if they are true friends to you, they'll come around in time. Remember--this also means that part of their world is also coming to an end, and they have to deal with that at their pace, too.

This is a good time to constantly remind yourself that you cannot change other people, but you can change yourself. Whom do you want to be when you "grow up" now? You're about to start growing in a new direction. Please, please don't resort to mind-numbing and endless entertainment. Now is the time to get to know yourself as yourself, so please don't be afraid to do that!

All my best to you. It took me 5 years before I was ready to remarry, and it has been great now for 20 years. Take as much time as you need, and don't make getting into another relationship your priority--getting to know yourself should be your first priority, and everything else falls into place after that.

If you have a good friend who has known you for a long time, who can also bear listening to your struggles, take advantage of those opportunities as well--they help with the business of knowing yourself. You're worth the work, and the pain is like all pains--it will heal over time. Just know that it isn't unbearable, even though it might seem that way right now!
 Quoting: BTDT 71326546


thanks!
Quetzal785





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