If you burp or fart then you are sick

I have noticed that there are many ignorant people around me, who consider burping or farting something natural, or even funny. Because of this, I have decided to make a public announcement to clear this up forever. Normal human body does not need to burp or fart, it is not something natural, this is a clear symptom that your body is sick and you must go to ask the doctor immediately. This applies to your pets too, if your dog or cat suddenly starts burping or farting, you must take it to the veterinary immediately. You have been warned.