i have fucked up big time by stripping away the illusion of this reality . i wish now that i'd stayed asleep

instead of being spiritually liberated, i have created a hell in my own mind

my thoughts and subconscious are causing havoc in my life and i can't seem to turn it around no matter how hard i try

these energy forms are manifesting almost instantly - and it's a complete nigthmare

i try to meditate and use mindfullness to stem the flow of shit coming at me, but it's not working - i want to go to sleep and not wake up

my mistake was not setting up the metaprogram properly before jumping of the cliff in to the abyss. now it's like i'm trying to write the code for an advanced AI program using a commodore 64 processor

is there a reboot button somewhere i can activate? i need to be free of this suffering. i know what the answer will be already - i am looping in on myself, spiralling in to the depths of my own insanity