It's weird though to cycle through such varying schemes of motivation. Yesterday I was looking forward to coming home and playing video games. That was what I *felt* like doing. Then we got a pick up at store request right before I went on for a 2ds mk7. mario kart 7. just happens to be the way the system abbreviates it. Well after that my whole pattern of thought shifted, I didn't really feel like playing video games anymore. I just wanted to go to the gym and then...idk. Research? But then after that the other stuff I mentioned yesterday happened, went back to work and had all those weird experiences which weren't unpleasant but made me feel strange. I guess I was triggered but my environment changed as well. I didn't go looking for odd coincidences but I found myself greatly affected by them.

I was contented watching the new seasons of pokemon all day for my day off earlier and avoiding the heavy stuff that has been really haunting me but when I saw that thing about 'well here we go again' of course your head is going to hurt, suddenly I can't find myself able to pay attention to pokemon anymore. Sometimes it feels like I can't really control it.

That same sort of thing can happen with glp sometimes. I can avoid it for awhile but if 'something' dings I am hooked on it and have to tear myself away. There is something I sometimes feel the dreams are preparing me for. or perhaps, priming.