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15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!

 
Silly Wabbit
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06/30/2016 02:44 PM
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15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
[link to shadesofthomaspaine.blogexec.com]


In hopes of catching more terrorists, the FBI released twenty five instructional pamphlets intended for everyone from hobby store owners to karate instructors. The idea being that these businesses will turn in their customers to the FBI as suspected terrorists. Every single one of these examples were taken directly from FBI lists distributed to places of business in how they can help fight the war on terror. Do one of these, and you might end up at FEMA camp.


1. Beauty shops have been instructed to look out for people getting picked up outside, rather than driving themselves. Sorry Grandma. I certainly hope she drove herself.


2. Bulk fuel distributors, frequently known as gas stations, have been instructed to look out for people filling containers with gasoline or diesel fuel. Why do they still sell these tools of terrorism? Don’t get caught with one of these…


3. According to the FBI, if construction sites find glue in a lock, graffiti or vandalism of any kind should suspect teenagers second and terrorists first.



4. Renting a boat? Don’t do it for too long, or the FBI might have to step in. This may look like good clean fun, but look again!



5. Better not ask how to swap a SIM card, because that’s a sure sign of jihadist tendency. I hope she knows how to swap the SIM herself…



6. Electronics shops have been asked to report those who buy assorted electronic components…at an electronics shop. This may look like a children’s toy…



7. Better not be cashing lots of checks and money orders. Only terrorists have multiple income streams.

Last Edited by Lady Jane Smith on 06/30/2016 05:17 PM
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 02:45 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I'm already on every list. :/
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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06/30/2016 02:47 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
8. Overdressed for the weather? A sure sign of hiding bombs. Or being cold. Fur…or explosives?



9. Don’t get caught drawing things in public. You’re probably planning to blow them up. Nice picture… Osama!



10. Demonstrating interest in remote control planes at a hobby shop has been identified by the experts at the FBI as a sign of terrorist intent. I wonder if anyone has ever expressed interest in RC planes at a hobby shop? Ok… maybe this guy has a problem



11. Don’t buy pipe at Home Depot. The FBI told home improvement stores to watch out for that. What possible use for pipe is there, other than bomb making? What does that plumber need with all that pipe?




12. The FBI says peaceful citizens don’t pay in cash. Practically everyone knows that cash is a sure sign of terrorism. What does she need with all that money?


13. God help you if you’re missing a finger or a hand. Nearly every FBI list had this one, as if people generally chose to have their hands and fingers cut off. I don’t think they were talking about this guy.



14. Don’t change your appearance. Everyone knows terrorists get makeovers all the time. Wonder why she wants to look different all the sudden?



15. And whatever you do, don’t get sweaty. Only bad guys sweat.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 02:50 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
#16 post on GLP
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 02:52 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I'm already on every list. :/
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39140566


me too.

meh.
1-2-Follow

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06/30/2016 03:08 PM

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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
eh this shit probably isn't even real....


1rof1

Last Edited by 1-2-Follow on 06/30/2016 03:10 PM
Articles and "news" from liberal media shall now be known as catnip for libtards.

Truth is schilling in the empire of retards.

"Yep but for now we dub you toast guy." - AC520845

*PROCLAIMED PROPHET OF THE DOW* ®

Let me know when the climate STOPS changing, then i'll be worried.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:08 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Do you have links for these pamphlets? I saw a few a couple years ago but not the more recent ones.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:31 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
#16 post on GLP
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 69384215


tyrone1



bonghit
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:33 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
So if I get dropped off overdressed at a beauty shop to get a makeover with a can of gasoline and a pipe and ask how to swipe my card to pay them, then decide to use cash instead, so I can get out of there and back to my rented boat to fly my RC airplane. That's not ok?

anonstoner
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06/30/2016 03:42 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
However if you take the guts out of an alarm clock and put it in a case for no good reason and set it to go off during the middle of english class, and you're a muslim, you're an inspiring inventor.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:45 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Guess I'll have to ride my lawn tractor 5 miles down the road to get my gasoline. Hardly seems worth effort.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:46 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I have hyperhydrosis. I work in the trades. I am HAM and electronics enthusiast. And I don't like using credit.



Well, I guess....I'm on the list.

:kick to the head:
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:48 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Shocked that "go to church" isn't on the list.

Or "support second amendment rights."
Billxam

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06/30/2016 03:51 PM

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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
So if I get dropped off overdressed at a beauty shop to get a makeover with a can of gasoline and a pipe and ask how to swipe my card to pay them, then decide to use cash instead, so I can get out of there and back to my rented boat to fly my RC airplane. That's not ok?

anonstoner
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 58351617


Most certainly not!
There is one constant in life: If you build something worth having, someone will try to take it or destroy it.

Proud member of A Brotherhood Against Totalitarian Enactments, Americans Who Hate Aging, proud supporter of attractive women.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:51 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
So if I get dropped off overdressed at a beauty shop to get a makeover with a can of gasoline and a pipe and ask how to swipe my card to pay them, then decide to use cash instead, so I can get out of there and back to my rented boat to fly my RC airplane. That's not ok?

anonstoner
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 58351617


Silly, as long as you're not cashing checks for all the locks you glued at the beauty salons that you vandalized the night before, you should be okay.
Just don't push it by swapping out your SIM card in a parka at a gas station in Miami!!!
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:52 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
FBI is simply doing its job , like good father to own children .Know your limits , help yourself and your taxpayed servants
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:52 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Guess I'll have to ride my lawn tractor 5 miles down the road to get my gasoline. Hardly seems worth effort.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71487332


yah I know right! Luckily we spend a few bucks other than gas at conv. store so they know us pretty good and wont report us for filling the lawnmower gas container!
pmb1

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06/30/2016 03:54 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I had a dude move in here for about 2 weeks that got a new Sim card for his phone and changed his phone number like 30 times in 2 weeks. He also did tons of walking very strange man indeed. Makes me wonder now.

I have a neighbor that is missing 2 fingers and a toe, Oh my gosh I better call homeland just in case lol.

I buy pipe at the local home depot all the time and I don't do plumbing. I make home made wind chimes. Looks like I might be on the watch list. I sweat big time all summer long because it's in the 90's and 100's here. Oh my gosh not good.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:55 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Dinpost Nuthin

Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:56 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
My list is small.

Number one: Government sponsored terrorism.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 03:58 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I had a dude move in here for about 2 weeks that got a new Sim card for his phone and changed his phone number like 30 times in 2 weeks. He also did tons of walking very strange man indeed. Makes me wonder now.

I have a neighbor that is missing 2 fingers and a toe, Oh my gosh I better call homeland just in case lol.

I buy pipe at the local home depot all the time and I don't do plumbing. I make home made wind chimes. Looks like I might be on the watch list. I sweat big time all summer long because it's in the 90's and 100's here. Oh my gosh not good.
 Quoting: pmb1


and you probably sell these wind chimes....for cash????

siren2
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06/30/2016 03:59 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
American idiots, keep on trucking.
-GLP-Christian-

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06/30/2016 04:02 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
However if you take the guts out of an alarm clock and put it in a case for no good reason and set it to go off during the middle of english class, and you're a muslim, you're an inspiring inventor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72127971


Then you get $10000 of Hardware and Software from Microsoft, scholarships and invited to the Rainbow White House!

UNICORNS!

unicorn
unicorn2
Get saved wretch: [link to biblebelievers.com]
Everything you need to know about islam: [link to prophetofdoom.net]
The Jihad Triangle: [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

FRANCE IS TEH GHEY!
-GLP-Christian-

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06/30/2016 04:03 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
I have hyperhydrosis. I work in the trades. I am HAM and electronics enthusiast. And I don't like using credit.



Well, I guess....I'm on the list.

:kick to the head:
 Quoting: TheAccidentalJedi


soccbump
Get saved wretch: [link to biblebelievers.com]
Everything you need to know about islam: [link to prophetofdoom.net]
The Jihad Triangle: [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

FRANCE IS TEH GHEY!
Debauchery

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06/30/2016 04:06 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
So what you're telling me is that I'm on the list.
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree than perhaps I should, so that other giraffes may die.
Dances With Fire

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06/30/2016 04:10 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Do you not understand? This is how YOUR government works. YOUR government suspects ALL of us.

Nice, huh?
Free speech is never free.

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Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key - Eagles
deanoZXT

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06/30/2016 04:14 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Remember the good old days? When the FBI just hacked into the webcam to watch us rub one out?

fbi
-Everything's more awesome when you lean into it.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 04:22 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
8. Overdressed for the weather? A sure sign of hiding bombs. Or being cold. Fur…or explosives?



9. Don’t get caught drawing things in public. You’re probably planning to blow them up. Nice picture… Osama!



10. Demonstrating interest in remote control planes at a hobby shop has been identified by the experts at the FBI as a sign of terrorist intent. I wonder if anyone has ever expressed interest in RC planes at a hobby shop? Ok… maybe this guy has a problem



11. Don’t buy pipe at Home Depot. The FBI told home improvement stores to watch out for that. What possible use for pipe is there, other than bomb making? What does that plumber need with all that pipe?




12. The FBI says peaceful citizens don’t pay in cash. Practically everyone knows that cash is a sure sign of terrorism. What does she need with all that money?


13. God help you if you’re missing a finger or a hand. Nearly every FBI list had this one, as if people generally chose to have their hands and fingers cut off. I don’t think they were talking about this guy.



14. Don’t change your appearance. Everyone knows terrorists get makeovers all the time. Wonder why she wants to look different all the sudden?



15. And whatever you do, don’t get sweaty. Only bad guys sweat.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41888358


What's interesting is that Home Despot has a video camera specifically to watch people buying pipe and fittings.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 04:24 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
#16 post on GLP
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 69384215


#16 vote democrat.
Sir dollop
You ain't seen nothing yet!

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06/30/2016 04:47 PM

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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
And the Democrats want to take our guns for this.

Fat chance Hillary.

Last Edited by Vicious Deplorable dollop on 06/30/2016 04:48 PM
Kamala Harris is not a Natural Born Citizen. She's illegally running.

Used by the Founders...
Book I of The Law of Nations, Chapter XIX, § 212 (Joseph Chitty numbering) – “Citizens and natives”
reads: 'The citizens are the members of the civil society; bound to this society by certain duties, and subject to
its authority, they equally participate in its advantages. The natives, or natural-born citizens, are those born in
the country, of parents who are citizens. As the society cannot exist and perpetuate itself otherwise than by
the children of the citizens
, those children naturally follow the condition of their fathers, and succeed to all
their rights.' 1758 Emerich de Vattel

Oh' What the Hell, do I look like I want to die in some nursing home one day...
America must have 4 new Constitutional Amendments...
1. Drug Tests and Mental Evaluations on all politicians and judges randomly five times per year.
2. Term Limits for Federal politicians and judges.
3. Mental and health standards for Supreme Court Justices and retirement age set.
4. A 'Star Chamber' of elected Natural Born Citizens (no attorney's) to ivestigate, try, and prosecute the politicians and government employee's as they see fit.

Mandatory death penalty by public hanging is the merciful sentence for pedos and their associates.

Democrats are a WMD, literally.

Let Justice Be Done Though The Heavens Fall.
Anonymous Coward
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06/30/2016 04:55 PM
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Re: 15 Ridiculous Ways to get on the FBI Terrorist Watchlist!!!
Remember the good old days? When the FBI just hacked into the webcam to watch us rub one out?

:fbi:
 Quoting: deanoZXT


Any suggestion on lubricant?





GLP