George Noory

Jorch is Christine Blasey Ford's hair stylist....

HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA GELD ! I MEAN GOLD!

Jeff Rense = married anyone he pleased. (7 wives at last count)

Jorch Noory = never pleased anyone

^ This ^ sound effect is actually one of Jorch's sign-offs, played in reverse....

LOL

Hahahahahahaha

Lol

Although never seeing any combat, Jorch served honorably in the military. Even today, he’s got a loyal following of crusty, crunchy tubesocks, stiff and hardened from years of “service” lined up along his wall, awaiting their next “mission”. (Squirt! Squirt!)

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 06:05 AM

After taping four episodes in one day of Beyond the Queef for GayMan Tv, an exhausted Producer Tom suggests to Jorch, “What’dya say we call it a day and surrender to the arms of Morpheus?”

A perplexed Jorch pauses in thought before responding, “Are you sure Laurence Fishburne is into 3sums?”

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 08:45 AM

While shopping at his local supermarket, Jorch is approached by an exuberant black fan in the produce section. “Yo, dawg, what up?! You blowin’ up, G, know what I’m sayin’?!”

Jorch, terrified for his life, dives under the table of Fuji apples (5 for $1) and whimpers, “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll give you anything.”

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 08:31 AM

An ardent practitioner of the philosophy of Ram Dass, Jorch lives by the credo: The Dong of a New Day is Upon Us.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 05:23 AM

The Seven Wonders of the World according to Jorch...

Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.
Cup o’ Noodles.
Branson, Missouri.
Lawn gnomes.
The St. Louis Arch. (Not to be confused with the Detroit Plank).
A solid stool.
An Asian shemale on Santa Monica Blvd named Shishi.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 06:25 AM

Ever the humanitarian, Jorch volunteers to go to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. Once there, he charters a helicopter, flies in real low over several square miles of utter devastation where a group of about 100 survivors have managed to gain temporary respite from the still-raging flood waters atop the roof of a building. He tells the pilot to lower the helicopter to tree-top level, he opens the side door of the chopper decked out in a military helmet with tinted visor and rescue/safety gear, leans way out on one of the skids, and through a megaphone aimed directly down at the stranded, desperate tsunami survivors, shouts, “Guess what? I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!” Then he instructs the pilot to fly back to the airport and he returns to the U.S.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 05:47 AM

He flies back to the stranded survivors and yells out, “I also slept at a Red Roof Inn last night!” Then he flies off again.

The annual Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon Festival is powered by Jorch.

Jorch arrives a few minutes late to the game. He makes his way down to his seat right on the floor at mid-court at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. It’s Lebron James’ debut as a Laker. The place is packed. Media from around the world are there. The price of the seats — especially Jorch’s — is astronomical. After squeezing mustard and ketchup on to his $20 microwave hot dog and taking his first sip of $20/cup beer, Jorch turns to the person in the seat next to him and says, “So...what inning are we in here?”

As Jorch drives on the off-ramp of the 405 freeway in Los Angeles, he approaches a homeless woman selling flowers along the side. He moves his car over toward her side of the offramp, slows down a bit, and as she perks up, smiles, and holds out her hand to receive money for her small bouquet of flowers, Jorch high-fives her and speeds off with a big smile on his face, sincerely thinking he just made that woman’s day.

Jorch thinks he’ll be cute with Siri...

“Siri, who am I?”

(Robotic female voice) “You are George Noory. You ruined Coast to Coast AM.”

...Long pause...

(Dejected) “Thank you, Siri.”

Jorch immediately switches to an Android phone.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 06:34 AM

Jorch complains to the FDA about BPAs in his BLT, and is told the BPAs were 86’d in ‘95, so he can go 69 himself.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 06:17 AM

Thomas in La Jolla = Tahmmy calling in with pantyhose over the microphone.

Jorch’s ancestor advised Churchill at Gallipoli.

After much rigorous DNA haplogroup testing, scientists have determined that Jorch is distantly related to Shaka Zulu and to a bag of rice on the docks at the port in Guangdong Province, China.

Last Edited by What is Aleppo on 10/05/2018 08:02 AM

During Lent, Jorch hangs upside down like a possum from an all-nite truck stop diner sign, basking in the neon glow.

Trying to piggyback off the previous success of their hit show “E.R.”, NBC plans to cast Jorch in the lead role of a new show called “E.D.”, along with his ex-wife and a litany of other lovers he disappointed. Tahmmy makes a cameo in episode 4.

When he travels, Jorch always takes a limo to the airport. In lieu of a tip, he blows the shofar.

Jorch is waiting for his car to be repaired. He strikes up a conversation with one of the mechanics about their cars. The mechanic asks Jorch, “How much does your tranny get?” A bit taken aback at his forwardness, but at the same time an honest man, Jorch replies, “Usually $300 an hour.”

Every Feb 2, Jorch tells his friends, “Welp, I’m off to Gobble Knob.”

His friend tells him, “Dress warmly, Pennsylvania is cold this time of year.”

Confused, Jorch replies, “Who’s going to Pennsylvania?”