^ true :)

However, to be fair "milking ostriches for the purpose of personal grooming" is only a misdemeanour in The Ozarks.

Prosecutors initially brought the more serious charge of "fucking a flight-less bird without a license" but downgraded it when the ostrich's trainer said the act was consensual.

In the end, Jorch paid a hefty fine and was ordered to wash his hands before signing court documents.

Meanwhile, the makers of Jorch's hair hat -- wig and merkin-makers to the stars, Skunk Weave 'n' Beave of New York -- have urged him to stop the practise of washing the rug in ostrich semen, branding the talk show host a "jerk"....