Children of St. Louis have reported "Flabby Man", a strange babbling creature that wanders out of a cxasve on certain Friday nights, usually between 3 am and 3:30 am.

Flabby Man often is seen with a glass of beet juice and accompanied by a human turnip.

While Flabby Man hasn't attacked anyone, he has reduced many in earshot to tears.

" He's just so fucvking awful!" cried one victim.
"And he smells like feet!" added another.

Police have warned people to avoid the area on Fridays.