Recent sightings of Bigfoot in St.Louis, or "boogers" as they are colloquially known, may have been a result of George Ralph Noory and Tommy "Turnip" Dasnheiser out on another Stinkin' Lincoln Navigator cruise....

Last Friday, George band Tommy ducked out early yet again and hit the road.

They ended up at a roadside off licensed bar and grill.
Once the dust settled and George and Tommy spilled out into the night, locals greeted them with calls of "assholes!" for dusting off their grilled food and beers.

George said "How arrrrgh yew!?" and offered to buy a round of drinks.

Mollified, the crowd invited the bizarre duo to join them.

Noticing George's fish bowl wine glass of beet juice, they offered George a new drink.

A Tomato based Vodka drink, heavily laced with hot sauce.

Not anyone's fool, George had Tommy Turnip try it.

Tommy downed it in one.

Emboldened, George guzzled his.

George's years of standing during his broadcasts and the damage from his pizza roll near death encounter has led to his body developing what one gastrician called "a straight gut and a crooked arsehole".

George's insides burned from his flappy lips to his flabby ass.

Jumping up and gulping his beet juice, George's toupee slipped loose and hung over his face.

Making bizarre gargling sounds and farting uncontrollably, George ran off into the night, hotly pursued by the human turnip.


George ran through several trailer parks and was briefly captured by a police dash cam, as the officer fired blindly into the night.

Reports were many of a screaming booger and the mysterious apparition of a giant walking turnip.