For my entire life I've aspired to write a novel

(I'm not a native English speaker, so all my lapses into silly malapropisms or mistakes I've made below do not reflect my skills as a writer in my own language)

I am now 43. I've made notes of ideas, story arcs and characters all my life. They pop up out of nowhere when I'm awake or in dreams. Just like this morning, when I woke up with an entire finished scene in my head. It's like my life's been building up towards a single novel. The raw and naive ideas I had in my 20s have slowly matured and all the disparate elements are slowly merging into a cohesive storyline without my putting a single word on paper, yet.

It's a story of broken lives in a broken nation in a broken world. The socioeconomical fabric of this vaguely eastern European nation (and the world, for that matter) is in tatters - not because of doom or a single major event. Yes, there's radioactivity in the atmosphere and bizarre weather, but it's nothing catastrophical. The decline has been less of a bang and more of a whimper. Over several decades there has been a gradual descent into global confusion and corrosion of our identity as an individial, nation or a human race. The borders have become porous and a part of the nation where the story takes place has been annexed by a neighbouring country in a nearly bloodless takeover. Nobody really cared about it. The world is rudderless as even the leaders that usually emerge during times like that are conspicuously weak or even absent. There is no faith in anything - divine or secular - that would inspire people to stand up or to even follow a leader. There is no hope. There is no future. Abandoned toxic chemical tanks are slowly corroding and leaking in the railyard, buildings are falling apart, and streets are full of pot holes as nobody takes care of anything. Yet, the economy is still running, money has value, elections are held, and on the surface the society is still functioning.

It's just that the entire world is tired of the life that has lost all its gloss and appeal. It's also a free fall of morals, as nobody really recognizes any authority (e.g. moral, religious, spiritual or mundane) anymore - not even the ultimate authority everyone has over him/herself. No, it does not lead to widespread atrocities and barbarism - people are too paralysed for that. While the near-absence of authorities and state control in everyday life seems like a land of opportunity to anyone with a hunger for power and wealth, most people have become tired of opportunities. They are hollow and bored, driven half-mad by the nearly unrestricted freedom they have to pursue any goals. But what do you do with such freedom when you don't have any goals or ideals you'd believe in? You don't even believe in yourself anymore.

In this setting, several lives cross. A female soldier who went AWOL six years ago during the annexation (nobody cares if she's AWOL or not), two siblings who have been lovers since their teens (and nobody cares; just like with homosexuality these days... "It's their business"), a cop who still cares about his own neighbourhood but nothing else, a single mother and her three kids, a reporter from the country that annexed part of this nation, Syrian immigrants who have more spark in them than the natives ("We came here from a destroyed country only to find you self-destructing, too"), and the male protagonist (young adult) who is desperate to find any meaning to his life.

Above these "small lives", the charade of politics go on as before. The nations themselves have become hollow. The majority politicians are more focused on outward appearance of the nation and high diplomacy than what's going on inside the borders. Alliances, trade unions and armed skirmishes are being set up in part to distract, shock-start economies, getting people mobilized, and re-establishing authority. However, there is also a minority group of politicians and activists who believe that focusing more on the nation itself can result in the reconstruction of the society. So, in the background wheels are in motion. A revolution, devolution, war, or reconstruction? Whatever it will be, it will change the lives of the main characters, but for obvious reasons I'm not going to go into the details of the story arc.

The novel does not have any intended message. Personally, I just hate novels that try to deliver a message, preach morals or judge. An author should never set out to stamp a message or a moral on a story, because then it stops being a story and turns into a vehicle for selling author's own morals and values, instead. That's vulgar. All the judgement and approval is best left to the reader who, while reading the book, briefly lives the lives of the characters and comes to understand them and the things they do. People who do evil things usually think they've got very good reasons for doing so, and it is imperative that the author makes the reader consider moral justifications instead of just labeling characters good and evil. We are not good or evil - just morally gray and confused.