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New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.

 
BuckeyeGirl84
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08/23/2016 08:27 AM
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New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Update: I spoke with her about it. She told me that she had another son shortly after and chooses not to post anything about him on FB. She wasn't angry and understood my confusion but, deep down I have a feeling that I'm not being told the truth. Instead of being insensitive and crossing the line. I'm leaving it alone.




OP:
I've never encountered anything like this in my life.

We have a new Co-worker. She's very intelligent, has caught on quickly and fits right in. She always talks about her 3 year old son and we share stories of our kids.

Yesterday she had to leave work for a few to get her son from pre school due to a behavior issue. I thought nothing of it.

She discusses what they are going to be doing over the weekend. His little baseball games and his schooling.

I'm rarely on FB but, we added eachother yesterday and what I discovered was shocking. Her son passed away 2 1/2 years ago and she even has a page dedicated to his memory.

I've already decided that I'm not going to say a word to anyone at work about this. Not even her. I can't imagine the grief and pain she must be experiencing but, I also feel like I can't trust her anymore. It's a shame because we get along very well.

Am I doing the right thing?

Last Edited by Deplorable BuckeyeGirl on 08/23/2016 10:21 AM
We are the deplorable majority.
ScrumpTheTexanModerator
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08/23/2016 08:30 AM

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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
What a sad story...

:(
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Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:30 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
The Old Timer

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08/23/2016 08:30 AM

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I have seen that happen to a few women that lost their child.....denial beyond reason.....you just have to thank God it isn't you sometimes....imho
Lets go Brandon!!

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BuckeyeGirl84  (OP)

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08/23/2016 08:32 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70619332


She doesn't have any other children. That was my initial thought too.
We are the deplorable majority.
BuckeyeGirl84  (OP)

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08/23/2016 08:35 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
What a sad story...

:(
 Quoting: ScrumpTheTexan


I know Scrump. I want to just give her a big hug but, I know it's inappropriate especially given the circumstances. Ugh some things you just can't be prepared for.
We are the deplorable majority.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:36 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70619332


She doesn't have any other children. That was my initial thought too.
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


6 months is not enough to just walk on... Maybe she is trying to let him in this way, or just wants to remember him. Sad indeed!
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:37 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
I knew a girl who acted the same way... after her abortion!
Phillip J. Fry
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08/23/2016 08:48 AM

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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe, says the kid is dead. Scores money through various schemes. Then has to move away, too many memories in the old town. KA-Ching $$$$
ohyeah
.

"Don't do anything that affects anything. Unless it turns out you were supposed to do it, in which case for the love of God. Don't not do it!"
DeadManWalkin'

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08/23/2016 08:48 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
I have a cousin who did something like that.

They tried for years to have a child, suffered several early miscarriages and had trouble conceiving.

Finally, she carried a boy to term.

The newborn baby died within hours, they never even brought him home.

Yet she referred to him as tho he were still alive, bought clothing for him for months afterwards, cleaned his nursery compulsively etc. She even had a website for him, where she would discuss developmental milestones.

Then she finally had another baby and named him the exact same name as the little guy who died.

Sad.
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Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:53 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Just continue being a friend and don't say anything about it to her or anyone else.

When she is ready, she'll let you know.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:56 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70619332


He makes a good point
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 08:58 AM
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I think its a cry for help...her giving you her FB, she knew you would find out..perhaps she trusts you..i dont know..poor lass.

dont know what i would do tbh..i'm a mother, i cant imagine the pain of losing a child.
GreatCaesarsGhost!

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08/23/2016 09:00 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Have you considered that the child's death is a lie too? Perhaps there WAS no child? Or maybe just a miscarriage?

Whatever the case, she is lying to her employer in order to leave early. There is no excuse for that.
BuckeyeGirl84  (OP)

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08/23/2016 09:04 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Have you considered that the child's death is a lie too? Perhaps there WAS no child? Or maybe just a miscarriage?

Whatever the case, she is lying to her employer in order to leave early. There is no excuse for that.
 Quoting: GreatCaesarsGhost!


Yeah there was. There's pictures of her and her husband with the baby. Both grandmothers and many other family members and friends comment on the page she made in his memory.

If this is all a ruse her entire family and inner circle would have to be in on it and even though it's possible. I just don't see how.
We are the deplorable majority.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:08 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70619332


She doesn't have any other children. That was my initial thought too.
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


How do you know that?
BuckeyeGirl84  (OP)

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08/23/2016 09:14 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Maybe she has MORE THAN ONE child?

Why would she want to be Facebook friends with you if she was obviously lying about something that could be easily seen on Facebook?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70619332


She doesn't have any other children. That was my initial thought too.
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


How do you know that?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259549


There are no other pictures of children on her page, the child that passed has the same exact name and would be the exact age of the child that passed. She is one of those people that puts everything on FB and there has been nothing about other kids at all.
We are the deplorable majority.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:17 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
For me personally, I wouldn't say a word to anyone.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:22 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
I've never encountered anything like this in my life.

We have a new Co-worker. She's very intelligent, has caught on quickly and fits right in. She always talks about her 3 year old son and we share stories of our kids.

Yesterday she had to leave work for a few to get her son from pre school due to a behavior issue. I thought nothing of it.

She discusses what they are going to be doing over the weekend. His little baseball games and his schooling.

I'm rarely on FB but, we added eachother yesterday and what I discovered was shocking. Her son passed away 2 1/2 years ago and she even has a page dedicated to his memory.

I've already decided that I'm not going to say a word to anyone at work about this. Not even her. I can't imagine the grief and pain she must be experiencing but, I also feel like I can't trust her anymore. It's a shame because we get along very well.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I just carry on as I have been?
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


It is and was none of your business so why go and investigate her?

I'd say you're one nosy bitch!

Have any skeletons in your closet we should investigate?
BuckeyeGirl84  (OP)

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08/23/2016 09:48 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
I've never encountered anything like this in my life.

We have a new Co-worker. She's very intelligent, has caught on quickly and fits right in. She always talks about her 3 year old son and we share stories of our kids.

Yesterday she had to leave work for a few to get her son from pre school due to a behavior issue. I thought nothing of it.

She discusses what they are going to be doing over the weekend. His little baseball games and his schooling.

I'm rarely on FB but, we added eachother yesterday and what I discovered was shocking. Her son passed away 2 1/2 years ago and she even has a page dedicated to his memory.

I've already decided that I'm not going to say a word to anyone at work about this. Not even her. I can't imagine the grief and pain she must be experiencing but, I also feel like I can't trust her anymore. It's a shame because we get along very well.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I just carry on as I have been?
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


It is and was none of your business so why go and investigate her?

I'd say you're one nosy bitch!

Have any skeletons in your closet we should investigate?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70637969


Wow, you're a real peach.
We are the deplorable majority.
jdfearl

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08/23/2016 09:49 AM

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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
poor woman, does she have another child?
I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:51 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
I've never encountered anything like this in my life.

We have a new Co-worker. She's very intelligent, has caught on quickly and fits right in. She always talks about her 3 year old son and we share stories of our kids.

Yesterday she had to leave work for a few to get her son from pre school due to a behavior issue. I thought nothing of it.

She discusses what they are going to be doing over the weekend. His little baseball games and his schooling.

I'm rarely on FB but, we added eachother yesterday and what I discovered was shocking. Her son passed away 2 1/2 years ago and she even has a page dedicated to his memory.

I've already decided that I'm not going to say a word to anyone at work about this. Not even her. I can't imagine the grief and pain she must be experiencing but, I also feel like I can't trust her anymore. It's a shame because we get along very well.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I just carry on as I have been?
 Quoting: BuckeyeGirl84


Maybe she has another son?
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:52 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
She had twins. One of them passed away at birth.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:53 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Just ASK her plain and simple.
Honesty is the best policy.
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 09:58 AM
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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
Just ask. Politely, kindly, and privately but just ask. You're confused, she can provide clarity, that is the logical thing to do so go do it!

Either it's something like a twin died at birth or maybe a boyfriends child that calls her mom. Perfectly harmless. Oooooor maybe she is very very hurt and doesn't care how wrong her actions are (and they would be wrong), and she is begging for someone to share that pain with especially if the father isn't in the picture.

Talk to her!
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2016 10:01 AM
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Wasn't there a movie about this very thing? I'm pretty sure I saw it on Lifetime.
~kpm~

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08/23/2016 10:10 AM

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Re: New Co-worker Has Been Untruthful? Update.
That's very sad, you are kind of in a tough position since she shared her FB with you.

It would be hard to brooch the topic but one would assume she would be expecting your condolences for the child that passed? At least in a normal situation, which this is not.

I don't think I would tell coworkers, seems like a cry for help but I do understand your concerns as well, it's a tough call.

Good luck with this, seems you were handed something that puts you in a very awkward position.
~With forethought and malice Whitless enacted an EO giving nursing homes immunity from wrongful death prosecutions, forced them to take in infected patients and is responsible for over 6500+ nursing home deaths~





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