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I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...

 
Bluebird

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09/28/2016 10:19 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I lost my husband in 1996. I know how you feel. Nothing seemed real for about a year.

It does get better. Try to find something to distract you for short periods of time if you can. A hobby, pet, reading short stories only.

After about a year, I just began to feel better. Don't think it was anything I did, just happened.

Hope it happens and even sooner for you. Hugs and prayers.


.
One of the most important aspects of conspiracy theories is being able to discern when there isn't one.

Oh yeah, like you'd understand anyway.

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?. . .J. Handy
DMJ

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09/28/2016 10:22 PM

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hfhfhf
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:24 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I am sorry for your loss. Try your best to think about the good times y'all had. Think about how he smelled, sounded and felt.

Now, whenever you hear "your song" on the radio, it's him.
Whenever you smell his cologne and no one is around, it's him.
Whenever you suddenly feel warm and comfortable, it's him.
If you think you see him out of the corner of your eye, you did.
When you see things that remind you of things you did with him, it's a sign he's with you and watching over you.

This life may end, but there is another one ahead.

Peace be with you.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:25 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
My deepest condolences,how hideous for you.

GO TO GRUMPIERS THREAD--- Angel help..Please read the intro first.

He can't bring back your beloved husband BUT he may be able thru the Creator/Angels he works with to bring you peace and healing. There are miracles happening over there--49 pages so far.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:29 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I hope it isn't wrong but the stories of everyone's love has helped me.

I've lost love a couple times. My life is physical pain and loneliness. It's almost unbearable.

Be grateful that you had so many years of the kind of love some of us may never know
thepatrioticgirl

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09/28/2016 10:29 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Where was God? How am I to ever pray again? How am I to ever trust God again?
 Quoting: Hope_Full


Why would you question god?

Did you expect to live forever?

I might be dead tomorrow, or one of my relatives.

It's tough, but nonetheless part of life.

Pray the Rosary daily and get tremendous blessings, would be my recommendation.


HOW TO PRAY THE ROSARY

1. Begin the Rosary with the Sign of the Cross and the Apostles' Creed.

2. Continue with the Our Father, 3 Hail Marys for an increase of faith, hope, and charity, and Glory Be on
the beads indicated on the diagram above.

3. State the first mystery, for example, “The first joyful mystery is the Annunciation.” Pray the Our Father,
10 Hail Marys, Glory Be and the Fatima Prayer (“O My Jesus”) while meditating upon this mystery.

4. Repeat this for each subsequent mystery.

5. At the end of each day’s rosary, say the Hail, Holy Queen and concluding prayers.

We highly recommend that all 15 decades of the Rosary be prayed daily. Our Lady repeatedly emphasized
the importance of praying the Rosary each day in her messages at Fatima. She even said that Francisco
would have to pray “many rosaries” before he could go to Heaven. Praying all 15 decades of the Rosary
each day can be accomplished in a variety of ways. However, for many it is best accomplished by praying
a part of the Rosary at different times of the day, for example, the joyful mysteries in the morning, sorrowful
mysteries at midday, and glorious mysteries in the evening. The Hail, Holy Queen only needs to be prayed
at the end of the entire day’s rosary.

An essential part of the Rosary is meditation on the mysteries, episodes in the life of Our Lord and Our
Lady. This means thinking about them, visualizing them, considering the graces and merits displayed in
them, and using them for inspiration to better know and love God. It is also common to focus on a particular
virtue with each mystery; those recommended by St. Louis de Montfort are given in the following tables.


 The Joyful Mysteries                                               Virtues (St. Louis de Montfort) 

1. The Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary Humility

2. The Visitation of Mary to her cousin St. Elizabeth Charity toward our neighbor

3. The Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ Detachment from the things of the world,
contempt of riches, and love of poverty

4. The Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple, and the Purity of body and soul
Purification of His Holy Mother

5. The Finding of Our Lord in the Temple Divine wisdom

The Sorrowful Mysteries Virtues (St. Louis de Montfort)

1. The Agony in the Garden Contrition for our sins

2. The Scourging at the Pillar Mortification of our senses

3. The Crowning with Thorns Detachment from the things of the world,
contempt of riches, and love of poverty

4. The Carrying of the Cross Patience in bearing our crosses

5. The Crucifixion The conversion of sinners, the
perseverance of the just, and the relief of
the souls in Purgatory

The Glorious Mysteries Virtues (St. Louis de Montfort)

1. The Resurrection Love of God and fervor in His service

2. The Ascension An ardent desire for heaven, our true
home

3. The Descent of the Holy Ghost at Pentecost The coming of the Holy Ghost into our
souls

4. The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven Tender devotion to our Blessed Mother

5. The Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven Perseverance in grace and a crown of
and Earth


Rosary Prayers

The Sign of the Cross:

With your right hand, trace a cross by touching your forehead, then chest, left shoulder and right shoulder
while saying: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

The Apostles' Creed:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our
Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was
crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He
ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty; from thence He shall come
to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of
saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.

Our Father:

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it
is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who
trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the Fruit of thy
womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory Be:

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever
shall be, world without end. Amen.

Fatima Prayer:

O my Jesus, pardon us, and save us from the fire of Hell; draw all souls to Heaven, especially those in most
need.

Hail, Holy Queen and concluding prayers:

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished
children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then,
most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed
fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.

That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray. O God, whose only begotten Son, by His life, death, and resurrection, has purchased for us the
rewards of eternal life, grant, we beseech Thee, that meditating upon these mysteries of the most holy
Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain, and obtain what they promise,
through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.


 Quoting:


[link to www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com]


[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73081071


Wow...what is WRONG with you??????
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit! What a ride!"

In times of trouble, I ask myself, "What would Sarah Conner do?" Compared to the apocalypse, everything else ain't shit.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:29 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Sent up a prayer for..so sorry for your tremendous loss. hf
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:30 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
So sorry for your devastating loss.
When you can't find the words for prayer, God hears your heart.
Deplorable bigD111

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09/28/2016 10:40 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
May God bless you in peace Hope. I am praying for you and for your husband. You will see him again. Have faith dear sister. hugshugs
deplorably republican
thepatrioticgirl

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09/28/2016 10:44 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I'm so sorry, Op. Your story is a lesson to all of us to take nothing for granted, to always tell the people we love that we DO love them, and to live life to the fullest because it could all end in a millisecond. It sounds to me as if you had a great, loving relationship with your husband and I have no doubt that he KNEW you loved him. I suppose this is where we would have to look for the closure. Sounds like you did everything right.

As for God, I don't know. When bad things happen, people say "shit happens" and when good things happen everything is a miracle from God. I don't buy that. You did nothing wrong and either did your husband. Bad things happen to very good people - I get that - but I still don't understand why. If a person lives a life of faith and gratitude and always does their best to do the right thing by family and God, when horrific tragedies occur (such as your husband's murder), somewhere along the line God needs to be held accountable. Why does He always get a free pass on that? I would keep your faith but put those questions aside and start making your own miracles while God's busy. There's plenty of time to find your way back there later.

For now, try to find a way to turn it around...somehow. Write a book, tell your story, start a blog...turn your pain into promise for others going through the same thing. I know you can do it and I bet your husband will gladly speak through you.

Best of luck, my sister. PM me if you need to. You are still alive and you deserve to be happy.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit! What a ride!"

In times of trouble, I ask myself, "What would Sarah Conner do?" Compared to the apocalypse, everything else ain't shit.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:45 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I'm not a praying type myself but I'm very sad for your loss.
Unchained

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09/28/2016 10:47 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
It was five months ago. He was murdered at the age of 61. I've since sold my home and am living in a small rental. Most of my world possessions are in storage. I don't have the heart to sort through them.

My memory is extremely poor. I can tell that I am not right. I've lost 30 pounds and look 20 years older.

I was praying for my husband when he was shot. I loved him so very much and he loved me.

Where was God? How am I to ever pray again? How am I to ever trust God again?

I have a roomate in my home now who helps me get through the days. Without this roomate, I'd be in a psyche ward.

And yes, I'm seeking medical, psychiatric, spiritual help. The drugs just cloud my mind. The doctors says I'm in shock (Acute Stress Disorder) and will soon move into PTSD. The psychiatrist says I'm doing well. The psychologist may be outt of her depth on this one.

Every day of my life, I thanked God for my wonderful husband. I never ever took him for granted. Ever. I loved every thing about him.

Where is God? And how do I face the days?

Please, no flippant answers. I'm in deep pain, in a small rental home filled with boxes. I don't know where I'm going. I can't even think 10 minutes ahead without weeping.
 Quoting: Hope_Full


All I know is you need help; I will lift you up in prayer...
He knows you.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 10:49 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Grieve. Just, grieve. Don't think about 10 minutes from now nor worry about it. You need to give yourself permission to grieve, and really commit yourself to it.

I'm so very sorry.
Unchained

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09/28/2016 10:52 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
One more thing, I ask if may take your grief upon myself, for as long as I can sustain it.
Videobarbs
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09/28/2016 10:59 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
My sincere condolences for your unbelievable loss. Have they found who murdered your husband?
I hope you receive from medical therapy as you walk through your deep sorrow.
In time you will feel your husband's unseen presence/spirit, but don't think it will happen right away. As this happens, you will come to have the peace that passes all understanding. For now, keep crying as it is an important cathartic.
I'm glad you sought out this forum as there are a lot of good people on it.
All the best to you in the days to come.
The AlSayr

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09/28/2016 11:02 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
One more thing, I ask if may take your grief upon myself, for as long as I can sustain it.
 Quoting: Unchained


How unselfish. And how awesome!
[link to www.godsmessageontheweb.com (secure)] - My Podcasts (RSS)

[link to www.godsmessageontheweb.com (secure)] - My Site (SSL)

[link to www.wheniwokeupthismorning.com] - Aliens are Demons

[link to godsmessage.indianapolisunderground.com] - Free Audio and Web Bibles.

We are fishers of men. Fishermen don't bang gongs and scream to catch fish. They "wisely" bait their hooks and capture the imagination of the fish.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 11:06 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Everything is only temporary.
New Creation

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09/28/2016 11:11 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
You ask, Where was God in all this.

He is God, and does not answer to us. Our wisdom is to accept what He does in our lives. Yes He has condescended to us and given us His Word in written form, the Holy Bible.

Why not ask, Why did God give us all those good years.
Lord, how long shall the wicked, how long shall the wicked triumph?
How long shall they utter and speak hard things? and all the workers of iniquity boast themselves?

Titus 2:11-14 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 11:12 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Dear Sister,
Some survivors are given a special grace to see a tragic situation like this from God's perspective, after which they can move on more easily. Pray to receive this, and to receive His Peace, which surpasses all understanding. Saying a prayer for you now.
hf
Tatetopawin

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09/28/2016 11:19 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
rose

[link to youtu.be (secure)]

[link to prismmagazine.org]


...I am praying for you... hugs


-Father...please ease her pain...

grouphug


rose
-The Armor of God-

"Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the power of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms..." Ephesians 6:10-12


"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born saith The Lord..." Isaiah 66:9


"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins..." 1 Peter 4:8

...Love conquereth all....... <3
Anonymous Coward
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09/28/2016 11:33 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I can relate, you feel like your very heart was torn out, it's a pain very few people really ever have to face.
Mine was so bad that for months I could not even keep food down.

Dying is a part of life, just like birth. Everyone's time comes sooner or later, unfortunately you had to endure loosing your soul mate earlier than most.

Religion might work, spiritualism might work, prescriptions might help but what you really need to to is find another reason for going on with your life.

Find a charity to work for, do something like knitting hats for your local cancer victims, volunteer at a soup kitchen, volunteer at your local cities botanical society. If you have any skill at all or hobby teach it to some local kids around in your neighborhood. Many libraries also have days that people read stories to kids.

Do something, do anything. That's the secret to moving on, stay busy. There is so much to do, really.
January Wolves

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09/28/2016 11:42 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
So sorry, OP. My husband was also murdered. I think losing a loved one to murder is harder in many ways than to medical reasons or an accident because it seems so senseless. In my case I knew who did it and was determined to get justice for my husband. It took me two years to get it to a federal level but the politics of covering up reached that level also.

It's been several years and I'm still not over it and never expect to be. The one thing that helped me, and still helps me, is writing to him and what the kids and I are doing and also write about all the memories we had together. I cry a lot when I do write the letters but it helps to get it out. I know, from somewhere out there - somewhere in time, that he is reading them.

I also have kept many of his things. Don't let anyone pressure you into getting rid of any of them until you are ready. Slowly, I was able to let go of some things but still have way too many. Well meaning friends (and the psych drs.- speaking of which, don't let them over medicate you! I never took a thing because I realized you have to meet the pain head on.) might also tell you that it's been long enough that you should be over it. Again don't listen. Everyone grieves in their own way. Well meaning friends also tell me I should be in another relationship by now. In my heart I know I will never find someone as wonderful as he was.

I was also questioning God when my husband died. But now I accept that my husband is nearer to God now. He has gone home and I will see him again some day.

I wish I could tell you that you do get over it but I didn't. But I did get to the point of functioning again and taking care of my children and family and deriving happiness from that. And I think that is what both my husband and yours would want us to do - to treasure our family & friends and try to find some kind of happiness until we all meet again somewhere in time.

Prayers for you and may God bless you.
.
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09/29/2016 12:13 AM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Both my love and father were removed out of my life and I know the pain and dislike of God you must have. I know now that it was time for both to exit and my relationship with God is better.

Ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you. It has worked for me during trying times. You are in my prayers.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2016 12:18 AM
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Dear Op, I send hf hugs and healing prayers.... May Heavenly Father bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you, and grant you His shalom(peace)...
May this song encourage you, and may He give you strength each day to heal and trust Him.... one day at a time....

Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2016 12:32 AM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
It was five months ago. He was murdered at the age of 61. I've since sold my home and am living in a small rental. Most of my world possessions are in storage. I don't have the heart to sort through them.

My memory is extremely poor. I can tell that I am not right. I've lost 30 pounds and look 20 years older.

I was praying for my husband when he was shot. I loved him so very much and he loved me.

Where was God? How am I to ever pray again? How am I to ever trust God again?

I have a roomate in my home now who helps me get through the days. Without this roomate, I'd be in a psyche ward.

And yes, I'm seeking medical, psychiatric, spiritual help. The drugs just cloud my mind. The doctors says I'm in shock (Acute Stress Disorder) and will soon move into PTSD. The psychiatrist says I'm doing well. The psychologist may be outt of her depth on this one.

Every day of my life, I thanked God for my wonderful husband. I never ever took him for granted. Ever. I loved every thing about him.

Where is God? And how do I face the days?

Please, no flippant answers. I'm in deep pain, in a small rental home filled with boxes. I don't know where I'm going. I can't even think 10 minutes ahead without weeping.
 Quoting: Hope_Full


I am so sorry for your loss, OP...

I have a question if you will...

How do you know your prayers for the well-being of your husband were not answered?

It may be a very ugly time coming for mankind, and perhaps some of us shall be spared the pain of it.

So, maybe your prayers for him were answered!

Jesus describes the 'mansions' He is preparing for His children.

Although you miss your husband terribly, being in a mansion of the Lord is more wonderful than we can imagine.

I am praying for you now, Op.
PRAYERS SENT.

Feel better and be stronger, now, Luvs.
Anonymous Coward
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09/29/2016 11:04 AM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
What if he was taken to be spared future evil?
What if he was taken to bring you into the life of another?
What if he was taken because the works given to him...were done?

My father in law died after a long illness in the hospital.
Three nurses showed up at his funeral weeping for him
Do you know that in that moment I knew that he was the one sent for them to learn something in their own lives?

I know right now the grief has you weighed down, but it's weighing you down so much that you cannot see the above. You are angry with Him but understand - He works for the good of us. And that we cannot see it when we come to see everything, including death, as 'unfair'.....
Hope_Full  (OP)

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10/03/2016 02:31 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
Thank you very much for the responses.

I have a roommate in the house to help me survive. It's not ideal, but were it not for that, I'd be in a psyche ward. I've tried all the drugs and they're not for me. The side effects are terrible.

For 10 years, I cooked him dinner every night and tried to make him laugh several times a day. I loved him but I also really, really liked him.

I did volunteer work but now I can hardly find the energy to wash the sheets on my bed. I try to go outside every day and do one thing (deal with attorneys, bill payment, etc.), but I am not doing well.

Thank you especially to the woman who said her husband was murdered. It helps to know I'm not alone.
Hope_Full  (OP)

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10/03/2016 02:37 PM

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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
January Wolves,

Could you send me an IM? I can't figure out how to send one to you.

Hope
XJDUB

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10/03/2016 02:57 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
I'm sorry sweetie. hf
 Quoting: the deplorable ar-15 nut

bump
Let the facts fall wherever, whenever, and however they may.

INTP - The Logician. 'Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.' - Albert Einstein.
Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 02:58 PM
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Re: I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
59 year old retired guy from Escondido say hang in there.