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Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?

 
Deplorable Publican
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10/03/2016 07:37 PM
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Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I haven't been the best son that I could be.

I spent the better part of my teenage years on into early adulthood on drugs. Currently in recovery now.

My dad has put his neck out on the line for me many many times and I've only ever let him down.

My mom, as you know, is fighting colon cancer. If you know me on here you know that story already.

I haven't really ever been able to bond with any of my siblings except my little brother that is between my mom and step dad. I have four sisters and two other brothers that I barely know.

I just got started with a good job. Living in a mens shelter while I focus on my job, my sobriety and getting back on my feet without having to rely on family.

However, I want very desperately to have a relationship with my dad and to make amends with my step mother who has many many well deserved grudges against me.

They say time heals all wounds but I'm trusting in the Lord that if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing that maybe I can eventually have a relationship with my family again.

If you're the praying type, please pray for me.

With all the chaos brewing in the world it might be nearing the Great and Terrible day of the Lord but that also means that "He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers," So here's to hoping!
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johnsnow

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10/03/2016 07:41 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
good for you!

I'm sure your dad continues to love you and will be very happy to restore the relationship. don't fuck it up, again.
johnsnow
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10/03/2016 07:42 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
i will pray for you. i'm sure it will all work out. ;)
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 07:43 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
good for you!

I'm sure your dad continues to love you and will be very happy to restore the relationship. don't fuck it up, again.
 Quoting: johnsnow


It's a lot of pressure but they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over but expecting different results. This time I'm really committed to my job and to my sobriety. I have a ton of people who believe in me and want the best for me. Little by little I'm seeing my family come around. My dad even told me he was proud of me for the first time since I can even remember. I'm scared because I know I always screw it up but I have to trust in God to keep me on the right track; but I also have to act accordingly too.
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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 07:44 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
did you try Grumpier's Angel thread? seems to be really good
The Deplorable GLP Effect

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10/03/2016 07:44 PM

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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I hope things work out for you OP. I have a cousin who's struggled with drugs for years as well.
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Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 07:44 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
did you try Grumpier's Angel thread? seems to be really good
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72294254


No, I'll look for it though!
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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 07:45 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
They all wait for that day too. Send sincere letters of amends from the heart.
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 07:49 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
They all wait for that day too. Send sincere letters of amends from the heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72360356


I have tried this before when I did some jail time.

Maybe now would be different though since I'm not in jail but out working and doing what I'm supposed to do.

It's easy to attempt to draw close to family in times of adversity but just to surprise them with a kind letter, that might be a good idea!
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Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 07:58 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I hope things work out for you OP. I have a cousin who's struggled with drugs for years as well.
 Quoting: The Deplorable GLP Effect


Thank you so much. I will keep your cousin in my prayers too.
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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 08:07 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
They say time heals all wounds but I'm trusting in the Lord that if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing that maybe I can eventually have a relationship with my family again.

If you're the praying type, please pray for me.

 Quoting: Deplorable Publican


I believe time can heal. You just keep doing what you're doing to better yourself. If you stick to that consistently, they will eventually see, and believe, that you've turned over a new leaf.

I really hope everything works out for you.

hugs
upyoursnwo

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10/03/2016 08:22 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
Congrats to you on your new, healthier life! Trust and pride will come back as you continue to remain sober and living responsibly. Trust me when I say your parents only want you to be OK!

Is there anything they could have done to reach you when you were in the midst of the drug haze? We have a nightmare going with my 17 yr old. We've tried everything and she continues to fuck up school, jobs, trust at home, etc. At this point, I'm out of ideas and at the end of my rope.
Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 08:31 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I cried. I wish you were my son
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 08:44 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I cried. I wish you were my son
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73018975


hugs

I'm honored and touched that my post was able to move you so.

Last Edited by Publican on 10/03/2016 08:44 PM
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Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 09:16 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
They say time heals all wounds but I'm trusting in the Lord that if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing that maybe I can eventually have a relationship with my family again.

If you're the praying type, please pray for me.

 Quoting: Deplorable Publican


I believe time can heal. You just keep doing what you're doing to better yourself. If you stick to that consistently, they will eventually see, and believe, that you've turned over a new leaf.

I really hope everything works out for you.

hugs
 Quoting: Anonymous-Girl


Thank you so much, AG.


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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 09:37 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
I seriously recommend learning meditation. When I stopped using drugs this was an especially essential tool to gaining control and eliminating those urges. You'll become very aware of your thoughts and patterns that lead to drug use. It's an amazing thing to have on your tool belt!! Also Meditation is totally compatible with a life committed to Christ

You got this!
deplorablesnarkModerator
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10/03/2016 09:40 PM

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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
Praying you will have the reconciliation and closeness with your family that you desire. This is an honorable hope for you to have and I am asking the Lord to bless you with it, and to show you the best ways to become closer to your family.
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The virtue of courage is a prerequisite for the practice of all other virtues, because otherwise one is virtuous only when virtue has no cost. There are times when something needs to be done, and yet we know that if we step up and do this needful thing, we will pay a heavy personal price. -C.S. Lewis
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 09:45 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
Praying you will have the reconciliation and closeness with your family that you desire. This is an honorable hope for you to have and I am asking the Lord to bless you with it, and to show you the best ways to become closer to your family.
 Quoting: deplorablesnark


Thank you so so so much!
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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 09:48 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
It's going to take a long time on their part OP and you will have to prove yourself to be the real deal, for a long time. Maybe then perhaps, idk.

Their timeline, not yours.
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 09:49 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
It's going to take a long time on their part OP and you will have to prove yourself to be the real deal, for a long time. Maybe then perhaps, idk.

Their timeline, not yours.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 61706331


That's true.

All I can do is try.
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Larry D. Croc

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10/03/2016 09:57 PM

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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
As with your sobriety, "one day at a time".

Trust is earned, it takes time, and it is very fragile. Keep that in mind and do the best you can.

Best of luck to you, sounds like you've figured some important things out.
"Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell, where they already have it." Ronald Reagan

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagan
Deplorable Publican  (OP)

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10/03/2016 10:01 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
As with your sobriety, "one day at a time".

Trust is earned, it takes time, and it is very fragile. Keep that in mind and do the best you can.

Best of luck to you, sounds like you've figured some important things out.
 Quoting: Larry D. Croc


I'm definitely working on it.
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Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2016 10:20 PM
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Re: Restoring trust with family OR How to not be a complete screw up?
They say time heals all wounds but I'm trusting in the Lord that if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing that maybe I can eventually have a relationship with my family again.

If you're the praying type, please pray for me.

 Quoting: Deplorable Publican


I believe time can heal. You just keep doing what you're doing to better yourself. If you stick to that consistently, they will eventually see, and believe, that you've turned over a new leaf.

I really hope everything works out for you.

hugs
 Quoting: Anonymous-Girl


Thank you so much, AG.


 Quoting: Deplorable Publican


hf





GLP