I'm sorry for your loss but I just gotta ask, why in the world would you come to this place to post this?!? This is the land of tinfoil hats, doom boners and idiots who delight in trolling each other in the hope that they get to use the holy grail of gay slang words ("tard") on some poor unsuspecting AC too green to know he's been provoked. Please, in honor of your lovely & dear departed wife, go talk to a family member, a priest or pastor, etc but not these fools.