Pray brother. Get into a church. Seek a christian counselor. You don't have to nor should you carry this alone. Those who have been broken and carry on are those who ypu will find to help you. One day you will do the same for someone else. Right now it's dark and the blade is razor sharp but hold on for children. They need you more than you miss your wife. This is your crucible do not give up. Your wife is with God. You will see her again. She sees you now and you must not let her down or your children. You will become strong enough to carry this day by day. Just don't give up. Never give up. Pray. Pray. You are not alone in your grief. God bless you and keep you upright.