Way to similar to my own story(s).

My mom died at the hands of an overzealous doctor.
Prescribed to her a different med every week until he found the lethal combo.
But, technically he did cure her.
She hasn't been sick in 23 years.

My wife passed at 32, the result of a brain aneurysm.
Same situation tho.
Held her and watched the life force evaporate from her for what seemed like hours waiting for EMS.
Never felt so helpless witnessing that and have there be nothing you can do to stop it.
That was almost 15 years ago.
The depression remains with me to this day.
I was never the same man again.
Neither will you, MM.
I strongly suggest you seek grief council/support group.
One of the things I wish I had done, instead of suffering in silence for years.
It does get better, but it takes a very long time.
And life will never be the same again. Accept that now.

How do you carry on?
You just do it.
It's the only choice you have.
The first Christmas afterwards is a bitch.
I suggest you do something different.
Don't sit around the house and reminisce and miss her.
That will destroy you.
There will be a time for strolling memory lane years from now.


You folks that are being a dick on this thread;
I hope you get hit by a truck...today.
imo you earned it.