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Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !

 
paranoid anonymously
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01/03/2017 10:14 PM
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Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Hello you all,

I have a spiritual and family related question .


I know the christian life wasnt going to be and isn't supposed to be easy. It is all terribly hard. It is hard to love people that are cruel, it is harder to forgive when we have been wronged, it is scary to approach people (friends, family) and share God with them, it is complicated, it is constant, and it is intense. Being a Christian is also the only way to truly live. Before I was saved by Christ, I knew I was missing life, I was scared of dying and eternity, and I knew there is more to this life.

I say all that to introduce myself. I love Jesus Christ, I want to follow Christ in my life, I want to become a better person and christian in my life, that is my main goal from day to day, and more than that I want so badly to tell absolutely everyone I know and everyone I meet about Christ...... I want everyone to go to heaven and I believe Jesus Christ is the only way to have eternity in heaven

But I am having trouble. How do I love better ? How do I love cruel people? How do I pray ? How do I witness to my unsaved husband ? How do I love my family - who claim Christianity but live insanely hypocritical lives ? My father was a pastor of a non denominational christian church but shows no spiritual growth or walk? Do you tell people that claim Christ but don't live like it that you are afraid for their eternity? Do I keep my mouth shut ?
I want so badly to love people how Christ wants me to love them but I say too much. I advise too much, I always offer a solution for everything. I tell people what they are doing wrong and how they can stop, I always try to be loving but I am way to blunt. I don't even mean it arrogantly but I am sure that is how everyone takes it and it probably is entirely my arrogance but I am too arrogant to even know that....

My family is claiming Christianity but leading these terrible lives and I am afraid to even have my unsaved husband around them because of how wild they all are and how toxic they have always been to us........ what do I do ? Do I keep these people in my prayers? Do I keep them in my life ? Do you have to walk away from people that live such sinful lives ? I know we all sin, but I think the true character of a Christian is that they try desperately hard not to sin , and they turn away from sin as often as they possibly can, not wallow in it and demand that everyone around them accept their sin...... my parents were semi supportive of an abortion this year that My younger sister had- they all told me that the father was being too bossy and it wasn't the right time to have a baby....... meanwhile she killed a baby and the family barely bats an eye......

My heart breaks when I think cruel thoughts about them all. I cry when I get mad at them or say something I shouldn't to them. I know about Christ because of them and I feel terrible for not wanting to be around them but I dont. They are cruel to me. I don't think any of them love me. I don't think they ever have. I am adopted so I know they can't love me like a biological mother would love their child but they don't even love me like a neighbor or friend.......

What do I do? Is this love your neighbor ? Does everyone else have people that say they are christians but acting like this too?

Help

I have only one spiritually sound friend and she is going through the same thing and we are both constantly trying to work on relationships that seem like they are deceased

Help help
paranoid with proof
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2017 10:17 PM
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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !


hf
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2017 10:23 PM
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The problem with your religion is that you cannot force yourself to love somebody else. You can fake it, but it is not real.
Beso

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01/03/2017 10:24 PM
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Not a Christian, as per today's definition....but the Lord's prayer basically says forgive us as much as we are willing to forgive others.....also in that same book it says, he who is without sin, cast the first stone...you can't cast the mote out of your brothers eye when you have a beam in yours...read the book you so proclaim to live by, it isn't as easy as you think.....one would become blameless and righteous if you could live it...your life and not your words should be the testimony....but that's just like, my opinion hf
~If everyone would take responsibility for their actions or lack of, then we could all be free~
paranoid anonymously  (OP)

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01/03/2017 10:42 PM
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I want to truly Love. I don't want to fake it , I don want to force it and I know God will show me how that is all possible but God uses people all the time to do his work, and it is your work tonight to tell me how :)
paranoid with proof
psalm119

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01/03/2017 10:48 PM
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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Hello you all,

I have a spiritual and family related question .


I know the christian life wasnt going to be and isn't supposed to be easy. It is all terribly hard. It is hard to love people that are cruel, it is harder to forgive when we have been wronged, it is scary to approach people (friends, family) and share God with them, it is complicated, it is constant, and it is intense. Being a Christian is also the only way to truly live. Before I was saved by Christ, I knew I was missing life, I was scared of dying and eternity, and I knew there is more to this life.

I say all that to introduce myself. I love Jesus Christ, I want to follow Christ in my life, I want to become a better person and christian in my life, that is my main goal from day to day, and more than that I want so badly to tell absolutely everyone I know and everyone I meet about Christ...... I want everyone to go to heaven and I believe Jesus Christ is the only way to have eternity in heaven

But I am having trouble. How do I love better ? How do I love cruel people? How do I pray ? How do I witness to my unsaved husband ? How do I love my family - who claim Christianity but live insanely hypocritical lives ? My father was a pastor of a non denominational christian church but shows no spiritual growth or walk? Do you tell people that claim Christ but don't live like it that you are afraid for their eternity? Do I keep my mouth shut ?
I want so badly to love people how Christ wants me to love them but I say too much. I advise too much, I always offer a solution for everything. I tell people what they are doing wrong and how they can stop, I always try to be loving but I am way to blunt. I don't even mean it arrogantly but I am sure that is how everyone takes it and it probably is entirely my arrogance but I am too arrogant to even know that....

My family is claiming Christianity but leading these terrible lives and I am afraid to even have my unsaved husband around them because of how wild they all are and how toxic they have always been to us........ what do I do ? Do I keep these people in my prayers? Do I keep them in my life ? Do you have to walk away from people that live such sinful lives ? I know we all sin, but I think the true character of a Christian is that they try desperately hard not to sin , and they turn away from sin as often as they possibly can, not wallow in it and demand that everyone around them accept their sin...... my parents were semi supportive of an abortion this year that My younger sister had- they all told me that the father was being too bossy and it wasn't the right time to have a baby....... meanwhile she killed a baby and the family barely bats an eye......

My heart breaks when I think cruel thoughts about them all. I cry when I get mad at them or say something I shouldn't to them. I know about Christ because of them and I feel terrible for not wanting to be around them but I dont. They are cruel to me. I don't think any of them love me. I don't think they ever have. I am adopted so I know they can't love me like a biological mother would love their child but they don't even love me like a neighbor or friend.......

What do I do? Is this love your neighbor ? Does everyone else have people that say they are christians but acting like this too?

Help

I have only one spiritually sound friend and she is going through the same thing and we are both constantly trying to work on relationships that seem like they are deceased

Help help
 Quoting: paranoid anonymously


Hello my Christian sister! God bless you and your family! I understand completely how you feel. I am also in a family of wild party people and very strong demomic strongholds of alcohol abuse, adultery, broken marriages, time in jail, drug overdose deaths, physical abuse, bickering, strife, blmaing, divorces, drama DRAMA DRAMA!!!!
So here is my wisdom from experience: PLEASE GOD FIRST. If what your family wants you to do will make you feel bullied and like God will 'have to deal with you later' on the matter, then dont do it. BE BOLD. These family members of yours have THOUSANDS OF DEMONS ATTACHED TO THEM, FROM THEIR OPEN DOORS OF SIN. YOU DONT NEED THOSE DEMONS ATTACHING TO YOU AND YOUR UNSAVED HUSBAND. They are demons that can harden hearts and keep someone from having repentence and SAVING FAITH.

God tells you to Love thy Neighbor AS YOU WOULD LOVE YOURSELF.
Would it be very loving to yourself to be hanging around a bunch of demonized sinners who mock Jesus with their behavior and make your husband think Christians are a bunch of frauds? Jesus says you will know them by their fruit and ALL who are producing bad fruit shall be cut down and burned.

Bottom line is this: God comes FIRST. Dont fear men, fear GOD. Do what is righteous in His eyes and He will reward you. That many mean only visiting your family briefly on holidays.

Your HUSBAND comes second after God, NOT YOUR FAMILY.
If your Spirit is telling you that your family members may hurt your husbands experience with Jesus because of their unsaved behavior then KEEP AWAY FROM THEM, PERIOD.

STAY AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY. BUT FAST AND PRAY FOR THEM TO HAVE TRUE REPENTENCE AND SALVATION.

BE NICE TO THEM BUT TELL THEM YOU ARE BUSY WITH NEW HOBBIES YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE DOING WITH YOUR CHURCH. TAKE UP BALLROOM DANCING AND START PLAYING FUN BOARD GAMES WITH YOUR HUSBAND ON THE WEEKENDS TO BOND AND WATCH CHRISTIAN MOVIES WITH HIM. THERE ARE PLENTY OUT THERE THAT WONT BORE HIM TO DEATH.

Be the strength of Christ for your husband till he gets saved and DONT put him in a pit of VIPERS andymore and risk his soul. Keep both of you AWAY from your demomic family unless its very brief visits. your Husbands eternity is on the line.

Dont mess around and get SERIOUS with prayer and fasting with him. also ask him to pray with you at night in bed. Hold hands with him and pray and bless your family and as you pray outloud for your husband to hear, explain to God that you are worried about them and know they arent living Holy. It will help your husband understand.

do it every night. pray over your husband as he sleeps and annoint his pillow daily with olive oil and bless his soul and body.

God and your Husband are your responsibilities, and your family members are big boys and girls and if they want to rebel against their Maker, then it is on their heads, NOT YOURS.

God Bless you and Keep you!
GLP Effect

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01/03/2017 10:53 PM

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Keep praying for them, even if it takes a lifetime. Some people just aren't ready yet to follow God so you've got to pray and let God work on their hearts. God will give you oppurtunities to witness to them, but not when their hearts are closed off to it.
Pray this prayer to blind Satan:
[link to flameoflove.us (secure)]
psalm119

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01/03/2017 10:57 PM
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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Keep praying for them, even if it takes a lifetime. Some people just aren't ready yet to follow God so you've got to pray and let God work on their hearts. God will give you oppurtunities to witness to them, but not when their hearts are closed off to it.
 Quoting: GLP Effect


^^^^THIS

and stop hanging out with them in their current condition.. you are only hurting yourself and your unsaved Husband
paranoid anonymously  (OP)

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01/03/2017 11:22 PM
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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Hello you all,

I have a spiritual and family related question .


I know the christian life wasnt going to be and isn't supposed to be easy. It is all terribly hard. It is hard to love people that are cruel, it is harder to forgive when we have been wronged, it is scary to approach people (friends, family) and share God with them, it is complicated, it is constant, and it is intense. Being a Christian is also the only way to truly live. Before I was saved by Christ, I knew I was missing life, I was scared of dying and eternity, and I knew there is more to this life.

I say all that to introduce myself. I love Jesus Christ, I want to follow Christ in my life, I want to become a better person and christian in my life, that is my main goal from day to day, and more than that I want so badly to tell absolutely everyone I know and everyone I meet about Christ...... I want everyone to go to heaven and I believe Jesus Christ is the only way to have eternity in heaven

But I am having trouble. How do I love better ? How do I love cruel people? How do I pray ? How do I witness to my unsaved husband ? How do I love my family - who claim Christianity but live insanely hypocritical lives ? My father was a pastor of a non denominational christian church but shows no spiritual growth or walk? Do you tell people that claim Christ but don't live like it that you are afraid for their eternity? Do I keep my mouth shut ?
I want so badly to love people how Christ wants me to love them but I say too much. I advise too much, I always offer a solution for everything. I tell people what they are doing wrong and how they can stop, I always try to be loving but I am way to blunt. I don't even mean it arrogantly but I am sure that is how everyone takes it and it probably is entirely my arrogance but I am too arrogant to even know that....

My family is claiming Christianity but leading these terrible lives and I am afraid to even have my unsaved husband around them because of how wild they all are and how toxic they have always been to us........ what do I do ? Do I keep these people in my prayers? Do I keep them in my life ? Do you have to walk away from people that live such sinful lives ? I know we all sin, but I think the true character of a Christian is that they try desperately hard not to sin , and they turn away from sin as often as they possibly can, not wallow in it and demand that everyone around them accept their sin...... my parents were semi supportive of an abortion this year that My younger sister had- they all told me that the father was being too bossy and it wasn't the right time to have a baby....... meanwhile she killed a baby and the family barely bats an eye......

My heart breaks when I think cruel thoughts about them all. I cry when I get mad at them or say something I shouldn't to them. I know about Christ because of them and I feel terrible for not wanting to be around them but I dont. They are cruel to me. I don't think any of them love me. I don't think they ever have. I am adopted so I know they can't love me like a biological mother would love their child but they don't even love me like a neighbor or friend.......

What do I do? Is this love your neighbor ? Does everyone else have people that say they are christians but acting like this too?

Help

I have only one spiritually sound friend and she is going through the same thing and we are both constantly trying to work on relationships that seem like they are deceased

Help help
 Quoting: paranoid anonymously


Hello my Christian sister! God bless you and your family! I understand completely how you feel. I am also in a family of wild party people and very strong demomic strongholds of alcohol abuse, adultery, broken marriages, time in jail, drug overdose deaths, physical abuse, bickering, strife, blmaing, divorces, drama DRAMA DRAMA!!!!
So here is my wisdom from experience: PLEASE GOD FIRST. If what your family wants you to do will make you feel bullied and like God will 'have to deal with you later' on the matter, then dont do it. BE BOLD. These family members of yours have THOUSANDS OF DEMONS ATTACHED TO THEM, FROM THEIR OPEN DOORS OF SIN. YOU DONT NEED THOSE DEMONS ATTACHING TO YOU AND YOUR UNSAVED HUSBAND. They are demons that can harden hearts and keep someone from having repentence and SAVING FAITH.

God tells you to Love thy Neighbor AS YOU WOULD LOVE YOURSELF.
Would it be very loving to yourself to be hanging around a bunch of demonized sinners who mock Jesus with their behavior and make your husband think Christians are a bunch of frauds? Jesus says you will know them by their fruit and ALL who are producing bad fruit shall be cut down and burned.

Bottom line is this: God comes FIRST. Dont fear men, fear GOD. Do what is righteous in His eyes and He will reward you. That many mean only visiting your family briefly on holidays.

Your HUSBAND comes second after God, NOT YOUR FAMILY.
If your Spirit is telling you that your family members may hurt your husbands experience with Jesus because of their unsaved behavior then KEEP AWAY FROM THEM, PERIOD.

STAY AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY. BUT FAST AND PRAY FOR THEM TO HAVE TRUE REPENTENCE AND SALVATION.

BE NICE TO THEM BUT TELL THEM YOU ARE BUSY WITH NEW HOBBIES YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE DOING WITH YOUR CHURCH. TAKE UP BALLROOM DANCING AND START PLAYING FUN BOARD GAMES WITH YOUR HUSBAND ON THE WEEKENDS TO BOND AND WATCH CHRISTIAN MOVIES WITH HIM. THERE ARE PLENTY OUT THERE THAT WONT BORE HIM TO DEATH.

Be the strength of Christ for your husband till he gets saved and DONT put him in a pit of VIPERS andymore and risk his soul. Keep both of you AWAY from your demomic family unless its very brief visits. your Husbands eternity is on the line.

Dont mess around and get SERIOUS with prayer and fasting with him. also ask him to pray with you at night in bed. Hold hands with him and pray and bless your family and as you pray outloud for your husband to hear, explain to God that you are worried about them and know they arent living Holy. It will help your husband understand.

do it every night. pray over your husband as he sleeps and annoint his pillow daily with olive oil and bless his soul and body.

God and your Husband are your responsibilities, and your family members are big boys and girls and if they want to rebel against their Maker, then it is on their heads, NOT YOURS.

God Bless you and Keep you!
 Quoting: psalm119










Thank you ! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and advice. I cannot explain To you how that was so comforting to read.
I tie myself in Knotts going back and forth with these issues. I think you ar etc tally right and have the right reasons to back up your pounts. My husband salvation truly is the most important thing and they are adults that actively hate God.
I am not all that familiar with demonic strongholds so if you come back to this post I would really appreciate to hear more.

I grew up in the church and he was a pastor but I feel like he was telling the holliwood version of the Bible and I don't remember a single sermon on demons and steogholds bit I know those things exist.
paranoid with proof
TGus
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01/03/2017 11:39 PM
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As you can see, there is no end to well-meaning replies to your questions, -and many of their suggestions are different from each other. Which advice should you follow?

Pray to Jesus to lead you in all this. Jesus won't answer you in words. Jesus leads by helping you learn what to do, -and sometimes by inspiration.

Remember that you are here to learn lessons, and unless your life has difficulty to overcome and work out, you won't learn anything important. You are also where you are to help those God put into your life. Spiritual learning is often a slow process, with a lot of mistakes. Don't be impatient, but, in your care, try to actually learn what to do, and how to do it. Jesus' job is to be beside you and help you always. Jesus is the perfect teacher, and no matter how confused you are, He will not fail.

Also realize that God may want you to struggle with this for a while, and perhaps never arrive at a perfect solution. But trust Him.
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2017 11:53 PM
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Jesus said not to worry.

Don't worry.
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2017 11:55 PM
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Jesus said love your enemies and pray for them.

That's it, just pray for them.

Don't try to become friends with them. Don't hang out with them.

Just pray for them and that's it.

Problem solved.
paranoid anonymously  (OP)

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01/04/2017 09:57 AM
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Thank you all who answered !!

I also wanted to know

If someone says they are saved, they have accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts, they are years into a walk with Jesus ( by vocabulary only, nothing to show in life), do you witness to them ? If you feel like they are not saved, if you don't see the fruit of Christ, if they are only Christian in their mouth and not in action, do you witness to them as if they were unsaved ?

My father was a pastor for my entire growing up. My mom was a pastors wife. I was at the church 15 hrs every day (slight eexaggeration, but not by much)

My father has no fruit....... my mother has insane vanity
Their kids are addicted to heroin, had abortions, dui's , children out of wed lock, divorces, family fueds, etc...
My sister and I were the oldest. We we also adopted, and from a horrific environment, but she and I don't have that wild streak like the rest of the kids....... we try to wrap our minds around the whole thing and cant.

We are not sure how to approach them
Many of you said to stay away and pray. Is this a job for an outside person, a different witness? Are we too close to it ?
paranoid with proof
Fun Times
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01/04/2017 10:25 AM
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The problem with your religion is that you cannot force yourself to love somebody else. You can fake it, but it is not real.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 62885451


If you are talking about the warm-and-fuzzies type of love, then this is true.

But this is not what Christ spoke about and demonstrated.

Love is in the doing.

He came to earth, taught, gave his life for the benefit of all of humanity, even the most despicable, murderous characters.

He didn't sit around trying to make individual people better humans in lengthy sessions.

He didn't lay his hands on them and compel them to be good.

He freely gave all of His gifts to the entire world.

It was and is then up to the world on what they will do with that gift.

Free will was a gift from God.

Remember this going forward to discern what you can and cannot do with love.
Anonymous Coward
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01/04/2017 10:26 AM
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Well you're right OP that it truly can be thoroughly taxing or worse perplexing to care so much while being the least unresilient.

Prying open thoroughly closed minds and hearts could command a more decent compensation in this life.

On the less gloomy side, so many of our neighbors here afford such a good example it's kinda hard not to do better.
Theobromine The Deplorable

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01/04/2017 10:31 AM

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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Simple Sermon I heard once

Love is NOT A FEELING

It's an ACTION - a VERB

Substitute the word "TREAT" everyone the same - ie the Golden Rule

You DO NOT HAVE TO DENY FEELINGS

But you have to BEHAVE the same to everyone

ie say hello-even to those you do not like -that is a LOVE action

HELP someone you do not like - that is a LOVE action

etcetera

sheesh...so many women hung up on EMOTIONS instead of ACTIONS...just get over or compartmentalize some of the hormone stuff and your life will improve - I guarantee it!
"What are you helping with all this helping?" Buddhist saying
Anonymous Coward
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01/04/2017 10:39 AM
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op said~
They are cruel to me. I don't think any of them love me.




Being a Christian does not equal being a door mat.


Matthew 10:16

16 ¶Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.




Why play in the middle of Traffic? Why put crystal on the bottom shelf when you know toddlers are present?
Daniel of the Rose

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01/04/2017 10:46 AM

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Not a Christian, as per today's definition....but the Lord's prayer basically says forgive us as much as we are willing to forgive others.....also in that same book it says, he who is without sin, cast the first stone...you can't cast the mote out of your brothers eye when you have a beam in yours...read the book you so proclaim to live by, it isn't as easy as you think.....one would become blameless and righteous if you could live it...your life and not your words should be the testimony....but that's just like, my opinion hf
 Quoting: Beso



rainrosefaithtrue
Daniel of the Rose

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01/04/2017 10:50 AM

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Re: Love thy neighbor ? Obey your father and mother ? Help !
Hello you all,

I have a spiritual and family related question .


I know the christian life wasnt going to be and isn't supposed to be easy. It is all terribly hard. It is hard to love people that are cruel, it is harder to forgive when we have been wronged, it is scary to approach people (friends, family) and share God with them, it is complicated, it is constant, and it is intense. Being a Christian is also the only way to truly live. Before I was saved by Christ, I knew I was missing life, I was scared of dying and eternity, and I knew there is more to this life.

I say all that to introduce myself. I love Jesus Christ, I want to follow Christ in my life, I want to become a better person and christian in my life, that is my main goal from day to day, and more than that I want so badly to tell absolutely everyone I know and everyone I meet about Christ...... I want everyone to go to heaven and I believe Jesus Christ is the only way to have eternity in heaven

But I am having trouble. How do I love better ? How do I love cruel people? How do I pray ? How do I witness to my unsaved husband ? How do I love my family - who claim Christianity but live insanely hypocritical lives ? My father was a pastor of a non denominational christian church but shows no spiritual growth or walk? Do you tell people that claim Christ but don't live like it that you are afraid for their eternity? Do I keep my mouth shut ?
I want so badly to love people how Christ wants me to love them but I say too much. I advise too much, I always offer a solution for everything. I tell people what they are doing wrong and how they can stop, I always try to be loving but I am way to blunt. I don't even mean it arrogantly but I am sure that is how everyone takes it and it probably is entirely my arrogance but I am too arrogant to even know that....

My family is claiming Christianity but leading these terrible lives and I am afraid to even have my unsaved husband around them because of how wild they all are and how toxic they have always been to us........ what do I do ? Do I keep these people in my prayers? Do I keep them in my life ? Do you have to walk away from people that live such sinful lives ? I know we all sin, but I think the true character of a Christian is that they try desperately hard not to sin , and they turn away from sin as often as they possibly can, not wallow in it and demand that everyone around them accept their sin...... my parents were semi supportive of an abortion this year that My younger sister had- they all told me that the father was being too bossy and it wasn't the right time to have a baby....... meanwhile she killed a baby and the family barely bats an eye......

My heart breaks when I think cruel thoughts about them all. I cry when I get mad at them or say something I shouldn't to them. I know about Christ because of them and I feel terrible for not wanting to be around them but I dont. They are cruel to me. I don't think any of them love me. I don't think they ever have. I am adopted so I know they can't love me like a biological mother would love their child but they don't even love me like a neighbor or friend.......

What do I do? Is this love your neighbor ? Does everyone else have people that say they are christians but acting like this too?

Help

I have only one spiritually sound friend and she is going through the same thing and we are both constantly trying to work on relationships that seem like they are deceased

Help help
 Quoting: paranoid anonymously


rainrosefaithtrue
Al Magus

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01/04/2017 10:54 AM
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if i may..there are too many questions. pick only one of them. the one that feels most important to you. start with it.
Chandalier
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01/04/2017 12:13 PM
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.
... parents are to bring up their children in the NURTURE and admonishion of The Lord ... many parents sadly lacked this!!! ...
.
... and it is NEIGHBOR as in the MIDDLE EASTERN JEWISH CULTURE ...
.





GLP