Anyone who turned the tables on a narcissist?

Pretend he doesn't exist and that will turn the tables.

Yeah my MIL

Toxic narcissist

She asked one time if we logged into a social site
To view her pic of herself

Told her don't have time for that nonsense

Hahahaha

Shut it down for a bit

yep. reversed the game did everything to him that he did to me and then said its over. bye-bye.

They can't handle the mirror.

You're away from him, keep it that way.

You've learned a lesson, value it, and apply it.

THIS.

The only way to win against a narcissist is to disengage and walk away.

Nothing makes them more crazy than to be ignored.

lot's of them

Yep

ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT !

Exactly what I did. Well said seer. ( I still love and miss him though )....I know I did the right thing walking away but it hurts.

The best way to deal with that is to act like it doesn't matter at all, doesn't bother you as well.

They will either learn a lesson or see you less.

Either way, you win.

I already did. For 15 years. But I'd love to see his face when I request he lends me his car. Hahahaha

I noticed he was an N when he got mad that I was talking about another person, saying what a wonderful house they have. Like WTF, he wanted me to badmouth everybody esle and only say good things about him. Typical Narc.

Yeah, Narcs no longer stick to me for long as I keep them at a distance these days, but it seems that many people show N tendencies in my life. For example I'm the only one in my apartment that cleans it, all my other room mates ditch cleaning the place. I feel like being taken advantage of so I'm no longer cleaning anything. I just wish I will find cool and confident, but not Narc people in my life before I become a hermit.

15 years.....lol............I only managed to turn the tables for ten years. He had had the upper hand all the years before before that. Then, in 2006, I took a step back and played him at his own game for the next 10 years.

It still hurts. I promised to love and cherish him until the day I died....and I will. I just can't have any contact with him now or he'll drag me back into his control.

Thanks for this OP. I was with one for 2 years. Was great at first before I got to know him. Then he started to show his jealous and controlling side. Tried to change my make up, hair, what I wore. I'm an Aquarian and I hated that. He'd bad mouth me for no reason. Ended up feeling worthless. Everytime I tried to end it, he'd re appear either by ringing me or knocking on my door. He's a 'caveman' in his eyes. That's his excuse of getting away with whatever he wants to get away with. Going out behind my back, chatting to women, turning on his Irish charm. Called himself Alleycat. That says it all really. But in the two years that I've stupidly put up with his dogmatic behaviour and all of the things he'd put me through, I now know that it's time to walk one last time. He's blocked. Not playing his mind games anymore.

Not possible.
They will destroy you, themselves, or BOTH of you before they will admit loss or defeat.

Sleep well Trump lovers.

I will never get over this/him. I know he's a narcissist but, without a doubt, a sociopath. I find it a really hard realisation that the love of my life, our whole relationship, was just a game to him. He could tell me he he loved me, but be planning how to engineer the next 'fight'.
Over the years, every time he 'hooked up' with someone on fuckbook or anywhere he would get really moody, really nasty, until he goaded me into an argument. He loved it when I shouted 'FUCK OFF'...................In his mind I had told to him to fuck off so he was justified in doing just that.
I confronted him sevaral times on what he was doing, and how he manipulated me into arguments.
He just smirked.

Still hurts though because he is the man I love.

Well, in my situation avoiding him was easier, I mean I'm a guy and straight so I just ditched him. I've never been in a relationship with an N as I avoid/ignore Ns right from the start now.

The problem is, I'm turning into a hermit as somehow I attract mostly NPD people and non-Ns ignore/avoid me.

Therefore, recently I'm having strong nostalgia for my childhood/teen years so I wanted to reconnect with him. I secretly wished that we could be best friends again, but people say Ns never change.

So I just stay friendless forever?

I made a couple of friends abroad but I feel no strong connection. I feel bored with them and they're more like friendly acquantances, I'm always the one that contacts them, etc. I really miss my childhood.

Yes, although this will trigger narcissistic rage, then the narc will up the ante with the mind games. I know, because I am a narcissist.

Yes, in 2001-2002 I just moved to another school and I didn't even call him to say I'm moving. It was over. No phone calls, no letters (I had no Internet back then lol), no nothing. Haven't seen him since then, but I miss that times. I mostly miss myself though, the funny and bubble person I was. I thought reconnecting with him will bring back my old self, but I guess he's most likely still the same toxic and negative person.

Are you kidding? We narcissists are absolutely obsessed with our appearance in the mirror, and constantly look for new ways to improve our appearance and sex appeal.

If I can't look at myself in the mirror, then I lose my shit. I utterly adore myself in ways I can't describe.

I hear ya. He'd always cause a fight because he knew that I'd react. That just gave him the excuse to go and do whatever the hell he wanted. But it was always me making a fuss over nothing in his eyes. I've tried to make it wotk with him for 2 years. But now it's affecting the relationship with my daughters. Basically, they can't stand him after what he's put me through mentally. I'm not losing my kids over someone that treats me like a slave, has no respect for me, lies to me, and makes me feel like this. Doubt me ever dating a Taurus again.

Can you believe he got mad when I commented that a fellow classmate had a nice house? I could understand if he got mad because I talked bad about someone, but I guess he wanted me to badmouth third parties like he did (and he had the nerve to blame me for that!) and only say nice things about him. He would also say that me and our other friend are his "right and left hands" and he's the boss. A true N right there.

My N was an Aquarius, not sure if they are all like that. My N dad is a Libra, and he and my N former friend are very alike, despite having different signs.

Youve just described my ex. Posing constantly, always has to own a conversation, loves to hear himself. Eyeing up women (even when i've been there) flirting constantly. He's 54, has grey white hair but was speaking of dying it black. Also buying new teeth so that he can give out the smiles with the wink. Even compared himself to being a Gigolo. Yes a definite narcissist.

Everyday.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with this.
I lived with the love of my life for 10 years, 10 years of hell.
He finally left,part of him knew he would destroy me if he didn't,they are not without moments of clarity.
He has continued to help me and our daughter financially and we go hang out at his place a couple times a week.
I am born again Christian and have truly forgiven him for the failure of our relationship he caused with his behavior.
He lives very rough,by his own choice but I think he has found some peace living in the woods.
I will always love him and he is the only person at this point that I know I can count on, strange.
They truly cannot help how they are, they were damaged as children and this damage cannot be undone.
I have shed far more tears for him than I ever did for myself.

Boy this sounds like my experience.. the "player" will only become "less" narcissistic if it benefits them in some way. (not to be confused with manipulation). I ended up caving to a betrayal when I was away for 3 days at my daughters college graduation. When I got home I lost it. He gave away every piece of memorabilia from my past (before him) a big time return to me me me. This is after two years of losing both my parents getting an inheritance and sinking it all into our "home". Now I know it was really classic bait and switch. Man this hurt. Not enough money from the sale of the house to do much of anything.. the only thing left from his purge. So the grief is real.. even though.. I am better off without this.. in spades..I have continued to answer text and talking ever so often.. which I know I will have to stop at some point in order to really get over this. And I am a wreck.. the only solace is that I am now doing everything for myself. And can move on with my own life. Of course he kept insulting me with YOU are a narcissist.. and of course I am NOT. But his behavior was always narcissistic by definition. Classic behavior, classically will never change. Just like projection and manipulation.. if one doesn't work they just switch tactics. I also think Jealousy comes in as my parents death and everything that had to do with that went pretty well.. when his parents died .. it was a nightmare.. I was there for him.. but his way of treating me was doubling down on control.

Hence the reason to cut off all contact.