How do I tell my mail order bride to lose some weight?

Get a translator

Tell her you simply cant afford the potage fees.

They do charge by weight these days...

Tell her... " Drop some fat or GTFO"

Tell her the return policy on your order is 90 days and the clock is ticking.

return to sender

Learn how to speak Congo
X

Tell her you want to see her parents one last time. Start boarding the plane and duck out on her saying you need to make a call. Dont check your own baggage and tell agent you have to be elsewhere. Will waste you a ticket but she gone. No one orders fat for a mail order bride. Life lesson learned for you.

Tell her they charge shipping by weight, and she needs to lose 50 pounds so you can afford the S&H fees on her fat ass.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Bring her over on a small row boat.

Cook for her, but only cook non fat foods, and tell her you want to get out, do things go places.
I talked mine into that le.on diet for a week, and she was bodacious
But i left for a month for work, and never got to enjoy time with her