I can't allow love into my HEart because it's irreparably corrupted. Every time I attempt to open my heart, "Satan" immediately enters it and makes em feel like I'm dying, heart rate triples, voices screaming "you're gonna die", etc.

SO I have to keep my heart completely hardened at all times, which makes me feel nothing, I am incapable of love at this point.

Spiritual corruption/fallenness is real.