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At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...

 
Use your brian, moran!
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User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 01:04 PM
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At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Our 8 year old Son lives with me, in a house we started buying from the bank not even a year before she lost her mind & started partying, drinking, doing street drugs & we agreed to not share a room. At the time I was able to afford an attorney & I have court orders stating that our Son lives with me & she gets odd weekends. She hasn't been living in the house or contributing to it in 15+ months. She refuses to sign any divorce papers which do not include the sale of the house that our Son & I live in, even though she's been informed, repeatedly, that, due to her not having contributed to the mortgage or house in any way, I am legally entitled to reimbursement for the 15+ months & the realtor commission, closing costs & a couple of minor fix/repair/replace issues would leave little to know money after the sale & do little more than remove the roof from over our Son's head.
She has told me, over the last 30 or so days, that, due to her (legitimate) health issues, she cannot watch him 100% of the time & now informs me that she is unable to afford his basic needs(food, drink, allergy medicine) & I'm legally obligated, by our Temporary Court Orders, to drop him off this Friday, so he can stay for the month of July, with a woman who admitted, in FaceBook Messenger(yes, I saved it), she is unable to watch him 100% of the time & now informs me that she is unable to afford his basic needs.
I'm losing sleep, might be getting a damn ulcer(near constant stomach pain) & dealing with a hell of a lot more pain than what I usually live with, day in & day out because one of the worst things for it is stress(I'm dissable due to multiple, consecutive, herniated discs, made worse by 2 consecutive back surgeries).
I met with an attorney who was very open & direct with me. Due to my having lost my previous attorney, in part due to missing monthly payments(my ex left me with all of the bills, credit card debt, everything), the chance of my finding an attorney who would let me make payments rhymes with "about hero" & that I need to come up with $3,500-$4,500 to see this through. "Come up with that", he says, "& I'll gladly take the case, get you what you're asking for & entitled to & put a stop to the harassment.". Great, I'll just go home & start pruning back the Money Tree in my back yard & be back tomorrow....
I don't know what to do or where to turn to protect my Son & stop the insanity & just needed to vent.

I know TLDR(but to those who did, it means a lot, thank you very much indeed).
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 58351617
United States
06/26/2017 01:10 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
you can do much or all of what you need to do by meeting with the free lawyers that work at the court house

they do a better job anyway because they are not trying to get as much money as they can, instead you will tend to get the straight shit from them more often

they are in a hurry, so be organized and come with all your questions and documents prepared whenever possible, go have an initial meeting just to get a direction and figure out what documents to fill out

don't let the expense of a lawyer stop you

plus if you can do most or all of it yourself, you can still hire a lawyer to go to court with you, and it hsould be much less expensive

anonstoner
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User ID: 46576536
United States
06/26/2017 01:13 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
why dont you just ignore her requests, and tell her to get a lawyer if she wants any custody. who cares if there are no signed divorce papers, unless u want to marry again.

save all her correspondence and represent yourself against her hired lawyer if she ever hires one. tell her she can have limited visits, and just when u thinks its safe.

put it in writing and have her sign it, or dont bring the kid over otherwise.

act strong.
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 01:13 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
you can do much or all of what you need to do by meeting with the free lawyers that work at the court house

they do a better job anyway because they are not trying to get as much money as they can, instead you will tend to get the straight shit from them more often

they are in a hurry, so be organized and come with all your questions and documents prepared whenever possible, go have an initial meeting just to get a direction and figure out what documents to fill out

don't let the expense of a lawyer stop you

plus if you can do most or all of it yourself, you can still hire a lawyer to go to court with you, and it hsould be much less expensive

anonstoner
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 58351617


That's a new one to me. I have called the District Court Clerk's office 3 times & they never mentioned this to me. Does this hold true for every Court?
You can't possibly imagine how grateful I am for your having just read about my trouble, let alone giving me a glimmer of hope.
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
UH...
User ID: 14191284
United States
06/26/2017 01:14 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS LAW FIRM CORDELL AND CORDELL

FOR MEN ONLY....GREAT ADS AND THEY HAVE REFERRALS FOR ANY STATE....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 43916119
United States
06/26/2017 01:15 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Multiple times I needed to come up with attorney fees and it has drained the life out of me.

All of the situations were out of my control.

My advice for your situation is to get an attorney and don't get married again.

Good luck

hf
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 01:16 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
why dont you just ignore her requests, and tell her to get a lawyer if she wants any custody. who cares if there are no signed divorce papers, unless u want to marry again.

save all her correspondence and represent yourself against her hired lawyer if she ever hires one. tell her she can have limited visits, and just when u thinks its safe.

put it in writing and have her sign it, or dont bring the kid over otherwise.

act strong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46576536


Thank you for the suggestions but I am legally obligated by the agreement which we both signed & thus my current worry, stress & sleepless nights.
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 01:17 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Multiple times I needed to come up with attorney fees and it has drained the life out of me.

All of the situations were out of my control.

My advice for your situation is to get an attorney and don't get married again.

Good luck

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43916119


Yeah, no way will I ever go through this again, that's for damn sure!
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 01:18 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS LAW FIRM CORDELL AND CORDELL

FOR MEN ONLY....GREAT ADS AND THEY HAVE REFERRALS FOR ANY STATE....
 Quoting: UH... 14191284


Thank you, I don't watch TV so I have never heard about them.
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
UH
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United States
06/26/2017 01:23 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS LAW FIRM CORDELL AND CORDELL

FOR MEN ONLY....GREAT ADS AND THEY HAVE REFERRALS FOR ANY STATE....
 Quoting: UH... 14191284


Thank you, I don't watch TV so I have never heard about them.
 Quoting: Use your brian, moran!


IT'S A RADIO AD...
Carnac

User ID: 60924255
United States
06/26/2017 01:23 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
why dont you just ignore her requests, and tell her to get a lawyer if she wants any custody. who cares if there are no signed divorce papers, unless u want to marry again.

save all her correspondence and represent yourself against her hired lawyer if she ever hires one. tell her she can have limited visits, and just when u thinks its safe.

put it in writing and have her sign it, or dont bring the kid over otherwise.

act strong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46576536


I would do this.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74935318
Canada
06/26/2017 01:24 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
:( I'm so sorry.

I don't have any advice, but I'm sure there are some people on here who can lead you in the right direction.

I hope everything turns around for you...and quickly.

red_heart

hugs
Adytum

User ID: 71488205
United States
06/26/2017 01:24 PM

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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Sorry to hear that, op.


Talk to your lawyer.

Having to send your kid into that situation is insane.
"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Thomas Jefferson
Adytum

User ID: 71488205
United States
06/26/2017 01:29 PM

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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Maybe try talking to the bitch and suggest she wait until she is ready to take the kid for the month.

Not saying it will work, but you gotta try everything in this case.

Last Edited by Adytum on 06/26/2017 01:29 PM
"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Thomas Jefferson
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 02:33 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
:( I'm so sorry.

I don't have any advice, but I'm sure there are some people on here who can lead you in the right direction.

I hope everything turns around for you...and quickly.

red_heart

hugs
 Quoting: Anonymous-Girl


Thank you Ma'am. I'm just worried about my Son & his well being it's the only thing that matters.
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 02:35 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Maybe try talking to the bitch and suggest she wait until she is ready to take the kid for the month.

Not saying it will work, but you gotta try everything in this case.
 Quoting: Adytum


Were she a rational person I would. She's looking at this as a personal battle with me. She rarely calls him or even asks about him when he's not there & he doesn't want to even go but I'm legally obligated to have him there this Friday. It's insanity.
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1712129
United States
06/26/2017 02:43 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Obey the court orders but give your son a phone and if he as much as gets hungry have him call you to come get him.


Slip the divorce papers in with the son's school admittance paperwork.


Tell her to sign it when she is drunk or hopped up.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74541472
Australia
06/26/2017 02:49 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Does she have life insurance OP?

Might be a way to solve the problem and at the same time turn a lemon into lemonade.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74735628
United States
06/26/2017 02:51 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Most states have free legal aid, depending on your income bracket. Ask the family court about it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75137466
United States
06/26/2017 02:54 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
thanks for posting this.

it reminds me of my own divorce (3 years, 3 lawyers, 6
legal motions in two different States) and reminds me
that I will NEVER get married again.
ThePaleOne

User ID: 71382673
Austria
06/26/2017 02:58 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Being born ugly and fat ... lucky i guess
dalailam
Life is a 100% deadly sexually transmitted disease.
Life is to short to be a slave, leave the plantation, go: [link to www.goingyourownway.com]
Anonymous Coward
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India
06/26/2017 03:06 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Our 8 year old Son lives with me, in a house we started buying from the bank not even a year before she lost her mind & started partying, drinking, doing street drugs & we agreed to not share a room. At the time I was able to afford an attorney & I have court orders stating that our Son lives
I don't know what to do or where to turn to protect my Son & stop the insanity & just needed to vent.

I know TLDR(but to those who did, it means a lot, thank you very much indeed).
 Quoting: Use your brian, moran!


Run away.c ourts will rule against you everytime
Savvy Buyer!

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06/26/2017 03:07 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Complain much?
The Savvy Buyer
Anonymous Coward
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06/26/2017 03:08 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
thanks for posting this.

it reminds me of my own divorce (3 years, 3 lawyers, 6
legal motions in two different States) and reminds me
that I will NEVER get married again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75137466


Same here man...i hope current american matriarchy collapses badly..i hope..but it is almost 70 years away
Alice.13
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06/26/2017 03:23 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Financial aid is perfect. Life insurance, auto insurance, etc. is good. High credit score and multiple credit cards are good. Using checks are good also. How much is mortgage?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74274146
United States
06/26/2017 03:47 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Yes, you can do everything yourself. Go to your counties Superior Court Website, they will have a self help section.

Such as this: [link to www.sb-court.org]
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/26/2017 04:08 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
why dont you just ignore her requests, and tell her to get a lawyer if she wants any custody. who cares if there are no signed divorce papers, unless u want to marry again.

save all her correspondence and represent yourself against her hired lawyer if she ever hires one. tell her she can have limited visits, and just when u thinks its safe.

put it in writing and have her sign it, or dont bring the kid over otherwise.

act strong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46576536


Thank you for the suggestions but I am legally obligated by the agreement which we both signed & thus my current worry, stress & sleepless nights.
 Quoting: Use your brian, moran!



File an "Emergency motion for child visitation modification" with the court in person, representing yourself pro se.

Find iut who the judge is and speak directly to that judge's clerk. Explain the need to be seen as soon as possible because it involves the welfare and safety of your child. Be sure to send a certified copy of the motion to your ex.

You can find examples of emergency motions for child visitation on the web using a search engine.

You can also look at paralegal services to do the paperwork for you for about 20% the cost of an attorney. You would still represent yourself in court, but they would handle all the paperwork and file the motion(s).

I've been in your shoes and it sucks to feel powerless. Best of luck to you brother and remember there will be an and to this nightmare. Stay strong for your son.
Use your brian, moran!  (OP)

User ID: 1832999
United States
06/26/2017 04:37 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
why dont you just ignore her requests, and tell her to get a lawyer if she wants any custody. who cares if there are no signed divorce papers, unless u want to marry again.

save all her correspondence and represent yourself against her hired lawyer if she ever hires one. tell her she can have limited visits, and just when u thinks its safe.

put it in writing and have her sign it, or dont bring the kid over otherwise.

act strong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46576536


Thank you for the suggestions but I am legally obligated by the agreement which we both signed & thus my current worry, stress & sleepless nights.
 Quoting: Use your brian, moran!



File an "Emergency motion for child visitation modification" with the court in person, representing yourself pro se.

Find iut who the judge is and speak directly to that judge's clerk. Explain the need to be seen as soon as possible because it involves the welfare and safety of your child. Be sure to send a certified copy of the motion to your ex.

You can find examples of emergency motions for child visitation on the web using a search engine.

You can also look at paralegal services to do the paperwork for you for about 20% the cost of an attorney. You would still represent yourself in court, but they would handle all the paperwork and file the motion(s).

I've been in your shoes and it sucks to feel powerless. Best of luck to you brother and remember there will be an and to this nightmare. Stay strong for your son.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73763146


Thank you for the information, I'll start looking into right now & yes, this is only about my Son & his well being, I don't give a shit about myself, outside of being able to take care of & protect him .
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Anubis

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06/26/2017 04:45 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
good luck op. hope it turns out well for your kid.

i don't know about where you are but where i am you can get a no-credit 'flex' loan for up to $5000 (i know its more payments) but if you have no other source for the money and need it now, that is always an option.
NuckinFutz!
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06/26/2017 04:47 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
Our 8 year old Son lives with me, in a house we started buying from the bank not even a year before she lost her mind & started partying, drinking, doing street drugs & we agreed to not share a room. At the time I was able to afford an attorney & I have court orders stating that our Son lives with me & she gets odd weekends. She hasn't been living in the house or contributing to it in 15+ months. She refuses to sign any divorce papers which do not include the sale of the house that our Son & I live in, even though she's been informed, repeatedly, that, due to her not having contributed to the mortgage or house in any way, I am legally entitled to reimbursement for the 15+ months & the realtor commission, closing costs & a couple of minor fix/repair/replace issues would leave little to know money after the sale & do little more than remove the roof from over our Son's head.
She has told me, over the last 30 or so days, that, due to her (legitimate) health issues, she cannot watch him 100% of the time & now informs me that she is unable to afford his basic needs(food, drink, allergy medicine) & I'm legally obligated, by our Temporary Court Orders, to drop him off this Friday, so he can stay for the month of July, with a woman who admitted, in FaceBook Messenger(yes, I saved it), she is unable to watch him 100% of the time & now informs me that she is unable to afford his basic needs.
I'm losing sleep, might be getting a damn ulcer(near constant stomach pain) & dealing with a hell of a lot more pain than what I usually live with, day in & day out because one of the worst things for it is stress(I'm dissable due to multiple, consecutive, herniated discs, made worse by 2 consecutive back surgeries).
I met with an attorney who was very open & direct with me. Due to my having lost my previous attorney, in part due to missing monthly payments(my ex left me with all of the bills, credit card debt, everything), the chance of my finding an attorney who would let me make payments rhymes with "about hero" & that I need to come up with $3,500-$4,500 to see this through. "Come up with that", he says, "& I'll gladly take the case, get you what you're asking for & entitled to & put a stop to the harassment.". Great, I'll just go home & start pruning back the Money Tree in my back yard & be back tomorrow....
I don't know what to do or where to turn to protect my Son & stop the insanity & just needed to vent.

I know TLDR(but to those who did, it means a lot, thank you very much indeed).
 Quoting: Use your brian, moran!


I will pray for you and your son for a better outcome and brighter future. Best of luck!

peace
Anonymous Coward
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06/26/2017 04:54 PM
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Re: At my wits end after 2 years of trying to get a divorce...
///




Seriously?



Just represent yourself


PRO SE


All my friends did it in their divorce/custody hearings


Google is your friend












///