OP, This has gone on for 4 pages. Procrastination and fear of rejection are holding you back is normal. we all do it.
Just make the call.

I hope my story will help you.

I had a GF that I dated for a year, after we connected at a HS reunion. She was a kind, caring woman but sometimes she wasn't. We had more great times together than bad times. But the distance was really to far to make things work for us. At the end she and I didn't agree on things so we split up. We stilled talked off and on afterward. But she had moved on with her life and so had I.
She had told me she was undergoing a serious operation with a transplant. Things went well till she had her 6 month evaluation where they found a cancer had formed. She called me while I was out of town, after hearing her story I knew she wouldn't be able to survive it. At the end of our call I told her I loved her and she said the same to me. I cried afterward.
I kept in touch calling her till she was to weak to talk. Her Daughter was to call me and let me know when things went south. The daughter never did.

There may come a day, when you will not be able to do so.

I would hope your Ex has the kindness to show you the same.

Blessing's to you..