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Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator

 
TheLordsServant

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11/23/2017 10:01 AM

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Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
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“We’ve heard it all,” says Nicole Johnson, the hotline’s co-director. “People ask if they can thaw their turkey with an electric blanket, a Jacuzzi and even in the dishwasher on the rinse cycle — none of which work.”

She recalls one panicked father who called on Thanksgiving Day, amid the sound of splashing water: “In an effort to multitask, he was bathing the kids and soaking the turkey in the tub together!”


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Anonymous Coward
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11/23/2017 10:07 AM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Bump,i smell this turkey thread is gonna rock!
TheLordsServant  (OP)

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11/23/2017 10:18 AM

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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Two years ago, Kimberley Moran of Hampden, Maine, found herself “freaking out” when she discovered her turkey was still frozen — with company on the way. She called the hotline.

“I was literally crying as I told her my problem,” says Moran, 49. “She was like, ‘First of all, take a deep breath. You aren’t the first person to have this problem and you’re in luck, there is a solution.’ ”


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Last Edited by Servant-of-the-LORD on 11/23/2017 10:18 AM
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11/23/2017 10:20 AM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
She recalls one panicked father who called on Thanksgiving Day, amid the sound of splashing water: “In an effort to multitask, he was bathing the kids and soaking the turkey in the tub together!”

 Quoting: TheLordsServant


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Freckle Face

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11/23/2017 10:48 AM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
hf
bump

Happy Thanksgiving!
Freckle Face
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11/23/2017 11:03 AM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
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11/23/2017 11:21 AM

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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
 Quoting: I'm From TEXAS y'all


lolzz
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11/23/2017 02:09 PM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
 Quoting: I'm From TEXAS y'all


lolatu
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11/23/2017 02:16 PM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
hahahaha, funniest thread of the day laugh, pin
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11/23/2017 02:18 PM

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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
 Quoting: I'm From TEXAS y'all


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Anonymous Coward
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11/28/2019 03:04 PM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
 Quoting: I'm From TEXAS y'all


It twas a fowl deed indeed.
Rosicrucian1
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11/28/2019 03:05 PM
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Re: Confessions of a Butterball Turkey Talk-Line operator
Secret:

you can cook a frozen turkey just takes longer.





GLP