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Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74849029
United States
04/01/2018 02:57 AM
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Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
At Ka’u hospital on mainland Hawaii, a scuba diver has been sent to the hospital after he inserted his dick into a gigantic clam while “recreational diving.”

The “clam diver” found out that having sex with literal clams can give you the equivalent of an STD, because it turns out he was actually allergic to seafood.

Somehow arsenic got in there too, as he tested for high levels of arsenic after suffering from extreme swelling, breathing complications, vomiting, and low blood pressure.




Doctors believe that the cause was… obviously having sex with a f*cking clam.



The scuba diver became better, and later claimed he only stuck his dick in a clam to impress his friend Thomas Meyer. “It was just a joke at first. My friend was filming so I wanted to impress him and put my dick into the clam, but then it just wouldn’t let go,” he told reporters.

He admitted he was high on ecstasy and GHB at the time.

“It didn’t hurt or anything, it felt warm and cozy inside the clam, but I was afraid my oxygen reserves were getting low,” he admitted.



The clam started dissolving and digesting his genitals, and he developed a severe allergic reaction and was rushed to the hospital. A doctor believes the giant mollusk’s digestive enzymes damaged his genitals, the first time the doctor had seen such a monstrosity.

“Allergies to seafood are fairly common and usually occur after ingestion of fish or shellfish, not after sexual intercourse with shellfish,” he told local reporters.


[link to www.fbnewspost.com]


grinning ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 932041
United States
04/01/2018 03:14 AM
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Re: Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
Poor clam.
blink
DoomGymRat

User ID: 76419060
Aruba
04/01/2018 03:15 AM
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Re: Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
april fools
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 54168564
United States
04/01/2018 03:17 AM
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Re: Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
I knew it was an April Fool's just from the title, but I was somehow hoping it was real.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75437014
United States
04/01/2018 03:21 AM
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Re: Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
So marriage?

That was too easy.
Wharf Rat
In Vino Veritas

User ID: 75079753
United States
09/15/2021 04:57 PM

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Re: Scuba Diver Hospitalized After Attempted Sex With Giant Clam
april fools
 Quoting: DoomGymRat


ladder
~Wharf Rat





GLP