Deranged female neighbour... advice please!

Psychological suplex right there, lol.

You sound like a 14 year old girl.

Then forget she exists and block her from every entrance she has to your life.

Anything less and everything I said is true. Like it or not.

Are there not stalker laws in the UK?

She sounds dangerous, perhaps...but even if she's not dangerous, she's unduly disrupting your life.

That's pretty much where it's headed if she doesn't knock this shit off.

She's got nothing on me. Other than being an unknown quantity where I'm not sure what's going to be going through her head next...

Well, after you do that, you don't contact or respond to them. You simply log or forward anything threatening to the police and continue about your life.

Some people do love their drama, though.

Zero response.

Zero reaction.

Ok this is what you do:

Go around the corner in one hour to that cheese shop you know.
Ask the man behind the counter if "Tobias Van Smelt" has been by to pick up his cheese.
He will respond, "Don't know the man and there is no order under that name here"
You respond, "Do you have any fresh Brie?"
If you have a green light he will respond, "Come with me and take a look"
A secret door will open in the wall behind him and he will usher you in, closing the door behind you.
Then walk with him in the underground tunnel until you reach the room at the end with 2 doors.
In that room will be a man named "Mike" who be wearing a yellow hat and seated at small table with an accordian.
The cheese man will leave you then and "Mike" will ask you, "Ever hear of a man playing an accordian with no arms or legs?"
You respond, "Yes I have, His name is "Matt"
If you have been green lit, "Mike" will respond, "Ok, give me 100 quid"
DO NOT GIVE "MIKE" 100 QUID"
Take the yellow hat off his head and leave the room through the door you DID NOT enter through.
The tunnel you now entered will take you back to the street.
Go back to the cheese shop wearing the yellow hat and wait outside by the south facing window for instructions from the appropriate actioning team leader.

That's the best we can do on short notice.

Why respond at all? That is pure ego talking.

Best answer.
Wait it out.
Eventually somebody dies.

It just seems to me that ignoring her is what's driving this irrational hatred. Akin to Fatal Attraction... "I will not be ignored" pet rabbit in the stewpot scenario.

Don't get me wrong, I agree that withdrawing the narcissistic supply/fuel is the only way... but right now that seems to be exacerbating things, that's all...

I wouldn't doubt it.

Lmao, wow. You're weird.

Im always cool with threatening people. The above covers your ass so if the nutter actually does something harmful, you're golden when you smoke their asses.

Op obviously has some type of thing like you were talking about before or she would have stopped responding back, I missed that part at first.

You gotta cover your ass with nutters that have a fixation like op's situation. They do crazy shit that you wouldnt think of.

Anymore labels to toss out?

Comforting...

I read it twice because its fucking brilliant.
Even on short notice.
LMAO

FFS. Catch her between work and dinner when she's sober. Bring or buy food and talk with her. Say you are sorry about being a jerk the other day. See how that goes.

You can't fix her. Ypu do know we always attract people at our own level and when we get embroiled with them it means we are like them. fix yourself and she will lose interest in you.

I've only responded back in the instances where she's threatened to come over to my home and kick off. I have neighbours and it's embarrassing. It's a decent neighbourhood, I've now seen what she's capable of and was absolutely mortified when she started behaving like a banshee in my garden the other week.

Its the ultimate truth.

You respond by telling them to fuck off in whatever way you see fit and add that you have contacted the police for their behavior, if they continue harassing whoever, it is an excellent early warning that they are legit crazy and should be watched accordingly. Then you wont be surprised when you find derogatory terms written in blood on the of your house or some crazy shit like that.

Some people need that final I'm not fucking around slap before shit escalates.

Here in the USA OP - we can part the drapes with the barrel of a 12 gauge.
That usually backs the unwanted away.

Unless the neighbor is a psychotic Organic Portal, then that person won't care whether or not the OP fixes herself up.

Seriously, I don't know why the OP isn't just calling the police....?

I've reflected on this- but I genuinely don't think it's the case. I do think these cluster B disordered personalities are drawn towards empaths... it's how they fuel up.

It's not in me to apologise- I've done nothing wrong and she's mentally unstable. That'd just be stringing things out whereas a clean break is what's needed here.

I can't fix her, but it's weird that she's projecting such a strong emotional reaction onto me... I have wondered whether there was a bit of an unhealthy 'attachment' there, because an acquaintance wouldn't normally have such a strong reaction to perceived 'rejection', I don't know?!

Really do appreciate the advice- I guess I haven't called the police because it all seems a bit surreal... At the moment it's threatening texts and phonecalls and I wasn't sure if that warranted police intervention. I also didn't want to escalate things, hoping it'd just settle down, she'd get bored and move on etc.

When someone is obviously not 'all there', you don't want to trigger them by involving the ineffectual police and invoking their rage any further. These things are happening when she's off her head on drugs, it seems to me...

This will work, guaranteed:

Every time she calls or shows up at your door, begin to shout Bible verses at her about casting out demons in Jesus' name.

Point at her and firmly declare, "In Jesus name I bind you demons. Through the Holy Spirit I cast you out. Go and come no more to this woman. Evil spirit of drunkeness and addiction, I cast you out through the authority of Jesus. Evil spirit of covetousness, jealousy, I cast you out through the Holy Spirit. Unclean spirits of hatred and anger and mental illness, come out of her, right now, in the mighty name of Jesus..."

And so on.

Just keep naming her issues, beingspecific.

You know, I do wonder whether there's something to all this. And even if there isn't, maybe that would freak her out enough so she'd be the one avoiding me in future hahahaa!

Cheers for all of the advice, I've been a bit freaked out tbh.

The first part in bold: You're afraid, and that's understandable.

The second part in bold: Are you even "listening" to what you're writing?...if the woman goes "off her head," then she is mentally UNSTABLE. Mentally unstable people are capable of ANYTHING.

Call the police now, today. Get your head in the reality of the situation you're in. You don't seem at all prepared to deal with your neighbor on your own. Few of us would be...heh, at least not legally.

Fuckin lol

I had a situation like this one time.. very similar circumstances, etc...

I do hope your situation resolves better than mine. Unfortunately for me, my 'friend' knew my schedule and my home and she became real destructive. We lived in the country and I was quire secluded down a country road. So she would come into my property (my dogs knew her) and mess with things.

She had to drive by the turn in to my property every time she left her house so I guess I was always on her mind. Our properties were close enough that when we were friends we would walk across the back pastures to each other's homes, so there were lots of ways she could get to my house.

But she accused me of trying to steal her 'boyfriend', some guy she was with for a couple months. And then it was one thing after another... said I intentually screwed up her hair, I owed her back a pressure cooker we'd traded for, just any and everything, every conversation became a fight. So I'd had enough and quit answering the phone or the door. And she got furious.

One time she turned on an outside faucet and flooded out my garage. Terrible destruction, since I had just emptied my parent's house out and had put it all in boxes in the garage. Lots of sentimental stuff and a couple valuable antiques destroyed. Emptied out my well and ruined my well pump, very expensive and she knew I couldn't afford it.

Another couple times she unlatched a gate and let my livestock get out, another horrible situation which resulted in a huge vet bill and other calamities.

Other times, I could tell someone had been in my house. Or something like finding a favorite shirt hanging in the closet with a cigarette hole in it. My toilet completely clogged up and I'm pretty sure she poured something down some drain and ruined my septic system. I had some electrical outlets which were shorted out.. water stains on my hardwood floors.

Obviously, I initially could not prove it was her. I ended up having to put in a cattle guard and a locked gate. Very inconvenient for me and my customers who had to come to my home (I did hair) not to mention very embarrassing.

Of course, I put up security cameras and let the whole town know and it pretty much stopped.

Then she was diagnosed with hepatitis C. I think it had been messing with her for a long time, the urea in the blood and in the brain. I almost felt bad but for all the viscousness.

She died a horrible death and was not found for two weeks outside in July. I was the one who called the sheriff because I smelled a terrible smell when the wind blew from the south .

I helped her cousin clean out her home. So many things I had given her or we'd gotten together when we used to go garage sale shopping in town.

I hope it turns out better for you.

does she have nice tits?