I've spent most of my life trying to be strong, clinging to my faith, and attempting to do things right.

I feel like doing that just attracted negative forces that wanted to snuff out the joy and positivity in my soul.

I feel abandoned. Totally abandoned. I don't want any more "learning" or "growing," I just want out. I want to catch a break for once.

I hear you, OP. I have similar feelings these days. This place is just shit, plain and simple.