Mom is dying

After sitting here for a coupla minutes trying to think of something wise and wonderful to say to you, all I've got is that I'm just so sorry, it's horrible losing a parent....

I hope creation speeds some comfort to your family, lovey...

WOW. Thoughts are odd when they play out in real world.

Blessings!

I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through.

OP, I am so sorry.

As for your grandparents, yes be there for them, but remember they are there for you too. Be strong, but don't forget to allow yourself to grieve.

My heart hurts for you. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier, but there are no words in situations like these that can make it better.

If you want to talk/vent/anything, this thread is a great place to do it. We'll listen and go through it with you.


If she is still able to communicate, maybe help her write a book. Just a simple all about me type of thing. Ask her questions and write it all down. Ask her simple things like favorite foods, favorite books, movies, etc. Ask her what her favorite memories are. Write it all down. You will cherish that book forever.

Life is a beautifully ugly thing.

It's always hard to put a loved one into hospice. Mine passed away between the gurney and hospice bed.

Find peace, positive energy and prayers your way.

Sorry to read that, it would be much easier for you to handle it when your a bit older especially in 40's and above.

All is good, we all die in flesh anyway, and she is returning back home from this hellhole planet.

Not everyone have a soul, but she does.

Godspeed and be strong.

I hear you. I typed, deleted, retype a few times trying to find words for this. It's just too awful. Anything we can say couldn't possibly touch it. It's too big.

Some moments are very rough around here sometimes. This is one of them.

OP, I really do mean it when I said you can talk to us about it here. Amy time you want to update us - we're here.

I just realized how young OP is. Now I'm even more heartbroken for him/her.

Help each other, memories of your love one, is the best, she not gone yet, love her until the end. I lost many love ones, they are still in my heart and mind, the good things out way the bad, and you never loss them, or with you, that would be you mom.

You have to be strong. The body dies, her conscious soul remains forever. This has been meant for you to believe this. We are in Special times. Ask the creator for help and you will get it. I don't write this to you because I "believe", I know.

Blessings for all the family.

Thank 'yall for the support; I hurt with her. It hurts to see her struggling, she doesn't have long to live. The cancer has infected her liver, the kidneys, and her spine. Her breast cancer had a resurgence, and she refused to get help the past few weeks/months. It wasn't until she was seriously ill that she made it to the hospital. Thankfully she did, so that we can have these precious, last few moments to share. The memories hurt, the good and the bad, it all hurts and comes in waves. We only just found out yesterday, and because I am her closest living relative, it was put on me to make the choice. It is the right choice.

She has a history of alcohol abuse, and I am sure that it has contributed greatly to the condition she is in now. She has had multiple warnings in the past with hospital visits, and now the time has finally come. I feel a certain amount of guilt, but I shouldn't. It was the choices she made, not mine. I just wish this was all a dream, but its not.

Sometime parents prolong their dying because they think it will be hard on their children. It will be whether they die today, next week, or next year.

When a person is getting ready to die, it means their time on earth is up. Make it easy for them and tell them you love them and that it's okay to go. They will go whether you want them to or not but they are a little more happy knowing that it's okay with their children and other loved ones.

Dying is only hard on the living, not the dying.

It's so hard to lose parents. We all go through it, but it's so very difficult.

My grandson is 21 now. His 40 year old father died tragically when my grandson was 6 years old. It was so very sad. We always talk about the fun memories we have of his dad. May you always have fond memories of your mom. Think of the happy times.



Last Edited by nutmeg on 10/10/2018 03:50 PM

I'm very sorry OP. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Like Only Me said, we are here for you. We'll support you the best we can, lovey.

I'm so sorry.

I know too, but I refuse to pray, or seek God, or ask Jesus for help. The spirit knows my pain, and if necessary, he will intercede on our behalf. I've been feeding the beast over the last several months, and this just compounds that negativity. Its difficult for me to kneel before the almighty god, and beckon his hand. My shame is too great, my pain too fresh. But what is my pain compared to his, who is long suffering? I was just thinking this morning how I don't want any of his blessings, how i don't want his kingdom... But that could just be this circumstance and the depression that follows it.

Like others have stated, there are no words, other than I am so sorry you and your grandparents are going through this. It’s a horrible situation all the way around.

This is not in any way your fault. Don't allow yourself to go down that road.

That said, I know alcohol abuse didn't help her in any way, but when you're dealing with metastatic cancer, she likely would have had this happen whether she was drinking or not. Some things are just unavoidable.

Even so, I understand your guilt. I felt it when my dad died. I was constantly asking myself if there was anything I could have done differently. I think it's probably normal to have these thoughts. Just don't let it overwhelm you.

I’m so sorry op. Stay strong my friend.

Thank you. I just wish we would've had more moments with her. Before this was nothing but drama, and confrontation. She moved away from us with a less than reputable man, and it has caused much strife in our already turbulent family. I wish we couldve sat down and had a meal, just us, like we used to have before the divorce, the foreclosure, and the collapse.

Look, you are NOT supposed to be making any big decisions when in such a difficult position....none of the least being whether or not you believe in God, or want his blessings. You and your family are going to need all the blessings you can get.

This isn't really a time for blame or shame or anything beyond helping your mom pass, whether she was an alcoholic or not.

Forgive and forget for the time she has left. I do think you will like yourself better when your older if you do.

There will always be time to work through all the feelings you're going to have. You do not need to do that now.

Holding your mom's hand is all that's needed from you now, lovey.

I will never forget the night that I received the call that my mother had passed. I can't say we were close because I was a bit of a jackass. I never cried so hard in my life, alone in the dark on the sofa.

I cried because I never told her how much I appreciated all of the sacrifices that she made for me.

Mothers are God's greatest creation. Tell her.

You have my deepest sympathies.

Is it too late for alternative treatments of any kind?

Hi OP I lost my mom almost 2 months ago due to pancreatitis and all the complications that it brings. There are no words of fortitude I could possibly give you. Now I realize that the pain will never go away, you just get used to living with it. I didn't get a chance to ask her questions or really talk to her before she passed. It all happened too fast admitted one day and gone the second day. But like somebody posted before me ask her questions about her, about yourself and tell her how much you love her. Ask her what her final wishes are, I wish I would have. I know its hard to believe that its God's will but it really is. They have completed their mission in this world and on to eternity where there is no more suffering. God bless you and all your family!

Past is past. What has been done cannot be changed. You have right now. That's where we are. Use right now to show your love to your mom. Use right now to be with her. Use right now to see her for what she is, a beautiful flawed human who loves you, regardless of things she has said or done in the past.

I'm a mother, so I know she wouldn't want you to be unhappy, especially if it was because of something she did. You should reassure her, and yourself, that your happiness is your choice and your responsibility, not hers, and that you don't hold her accountable for your happiness.

We all have good and bad memories with our families. Choose to dwell on the good. Choose to create as much good as you can right now.