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O

 
Monger of Many Things

User ID: 75276368
Netherlands
10/11/2018 12:35 PM
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Re: O
Never go to bed mad
 Quoting: Jet Mac


How are you supposed to get any sleep?
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious...

I'd wonder who was paying me, and why?
LetTheMilitaryTribuna​lsBegin!

User ID: 39903149
United States
10/11/2018 01:13 PM
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Re: O
You forgot - NO FARTING
Or at least wait until the other person is sound asleep -
and lift your blanket to free it. A Dutch oven can last for hours!
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


Yeah, no Dutch Ovens should be number 1.
 Quoting: Where Eagles Dare


wth you suppose to do just hold it...

i'd rather have my own room then.
 Quoting: Norque


Holding in gases from your digestive system is not good for you.
Look around, is this the end that you have foreseen?
The pain, the misery in us all
What was it that you knew?
Will we one day learn it too?
And together build another way, to the morning
Or will it ever come again?
You've poisoned all our hopes
We have nothing now, and what of the children?
What has this done to them?
Damn you for the pain that they must feel...
chasity

User ID: 76754762
United States
10/11/2018 01:43 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
grass fed sardines
Friends Of Carlotta

User ID: 72001719
United Kingdom
10/11/2018 01:45 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


big_smile
Friends Of Carlotta
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74788550
United States
10/11/2018 01:50 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


glassesoff
chasity

User ID: 76754762
United States
10/11/2018 01:51 PM
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Re: O
So long as there is a dry spot it's mine.

Grappling for the dry spit will only create a situation where there is no dry spot. It's almost funny.
 Quoting: Mama Outlaw


you are not doing it right.

you need to be face down on the side of the bed, bottoms up legs on floor spread at least shoulder width apart. Then just stand straight up after he's finished and let it land on the carpet, no wet spot on bed. Get one of those carpet brushes and spray and clean in morning or every couple months.
grass fed sardines
rumble

User ID: 72708450
New Zealand
10/11/2018 01:52 PM
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Re: O
think op likes sleeping alone, prolly really love yaself as well. could ad no old ugly woman on our pretend list
rob2

User ID: 76870111
United States
10/11/2018 02:03 PM
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Re: O
:1049bedrules:

Do you have any other ones?
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Don't browse GLP before you go to bed
 Quoting: RetroGod


Why?
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


cause technology ruins your ability to sleep
 Quoting: RetroGod


sounds like you arent getting up early enough...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 02:06 PM
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Re: O
You forgot - NO FARTING
Or at least wait until the other person is sound asleep -
and lift your blanket to free it. A Dutch oven can last for hours!
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


Yeah, no Dutch Ovens should be number 1.
 Quoting: Where Eagles Dare


wth you suppose to do just hold it...

i'd rather have my own room then.
 Quoting: Norque


Holding in gases from your digestive system is not good for you.
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


ballsA1-1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74788550
United States
10/11/2018 02:08 PM
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Re: O
...


Yeah, no Dutch Ovens should be number 1.
 Quoting: Where Eagles Dare


wth you suppose to do just hold it...

i'd rather have my own room then.
 Quoting: Norque


Holding in gases from your digestive system is not good for you.
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


ballsA1-1
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Can I recommend an improvement? Photoshop your face onto that pic.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 02:56 PM
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Re: O
...


wth you suppose to do just hold it...

i'd rather have my own room then.
 Quoting: Norque


Holding in gases from your digestive system is not good for you.
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


ballsA1-1
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Can I recommend an improvement? Photoshop your face onto that pic.
 Quoting: Norque

You’re the troll... you do it!
Garufal

User ID: 76948125
United States
10/11/2018 03:00 PM
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Re: O
lol @ 5
A epiphany I had watering my lawn one day.

"Karma is the universal judicial system that NOBODY is Immune from" -Me

I LOVE good juicy gossip. Lay it on me.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:03 PM
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Re: O
lol @ 5
 Quoting: Garufal


lol I have 13 pillows on my bed! chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:05 PM
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Re: O
So long as there is a dry spot it's mine.

Grappling for the dry spit will only create a situation where there is no dry spot. It's almost funny.
 Quoting: Mama Outlaw


you are not doing it right.

you need to be face down on the side of the bed, bottoms up legs on floor spread at least shoulder width apart. Then just stand straight up after he's finished and let it land on the carpet, no wet spot on bed. Get one of those carpet brushes and spray and clean in morning or every couple months.
 Quoting: chasity


clinton no
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:07 PM
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Re: O
think op likes sleeping alone, prolly really love yaself as well. could ad no old ugly woman on our pretend list
 Quoting: rumble


Yeah... my king size bed is only for me, myself, and I!!!
:fuckyeah:
Garufal

User ID: 76948125
United States
10/11/2018 03:09 PM
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Re: O
You forgot - NO FARTING
Or at least wait until the other person is sound asleep -
and lift your blanket to free it. A Dutch oven can last for hours!
 Quoting: LetTheMilitaryTribunalsBegin!


Yeah, no Dutch Ovens should be number 1.
 Quoting: Where Eagles Dare


cruise
A epiphany I had watering my lawn one day.

"Karma is the universal judicial system that NOBODY is Immune from" -Me

I LOVE good juicy gossip. Lay it on me.
'Spawn'

User ID: 76971737
United States
10/11/2018 03:15 PM
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Re: O
lol @ 5
 Quoting: Garufal


lol I have 13 pillows on my bed! chuckle
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Lonely?
Dumpty

User ID: 77024210
United States
10/11/2018 03:15 PM
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Re: O
If you accidentally shart, clean it up immediately and don't wait for the morning....this ain't Thunderdome.


shart

Last Edited by Van #22 on 10/11/2018 03:16 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:28 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:29 PM
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Re: O
If you accidentally shart, clean it up immediately and don't wait for the morning....this ain't Thunderdome.


:shart:
 Quoting: Dumpty


Ewww
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:29 PM
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Re: O
lol @ 5
 Quoting: Garufal


lol I have 13 pillows on my bed! chuckle
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Lonely?
 Quoting: 'Spawn'


Sometimes... sad
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76908332
Australia
10/11/2018 03:30 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


big_smile
 Quoting: Friends Of Carlotta


:giddypicard:
Red John

User ID: 76950103
Canada
10/11/2018 03:53 PM

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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


one does not simply create their own cream pies

that requires a dude
:pixie:

General Failure Reading Drive A:
Who is General Failure?

There can be Only One

Team Swirl
Swirl Nation

instead of red, post in the thread, then I can respond.

[link to qz.com (secure)]
-AtarI-

User ID: 75419129
Romania
10/11/2018 03:54 PM
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Re: O
:1049bedrules:

Do you have any other ones?
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


I could use a dead partner for all those rules.
Goldmaster

User ID: 75497294
United States
10/11/2018 04:23 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


one does not simply create their own cream pies

that requires a dude
 Quoting: Red John


I think she meant that she pisses herself cuz she can't control her old woman bladder lol
Goldmaster
'Spawn'

User ID: 76746599
United States
10/11/2018 04:28 PM
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Re: O
lol @ 5
 Quoting: Garufal


lol I have 13 pillows on my bed! chuckle
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Lonely?
 Quoting: 'Spawn'


Sometimes... sad
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Based upon your posted rules and your 13 pillows, you may need get used to it.

Thanks for the laugh though. It was a funny list!

I would add - NO cold feet.

My ex would put her icicle encrusted feet on me and I'd damn near jump out of bed. She being a smoking hot redhead, I figured out a way to overlook that. In her defense, I failed three of your rules.

My two pennies.

Last Edited by 'Spawn' on 10/11/2018 04:33 PM
chasity

User ID: 76754762
United States
10/11/2018 04:41 PM
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Re: O
No bodily fluids on the sheets.
 Quoting: Indrid_Cold


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


one does not simply create their own cream pies

that requires a dude
 Quoting: Red John


I think she meant that she pisses herself cuz she can't control her old woman bladder lol
 Quoting: Goldmaster


it is none of your business to talk about my private business I don't want to share with the publice!
grass fed sardines
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76989304
United States
10/11/2018 04:43 PM
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Re: O
What about morning wood or anytime wood?
 Quoting: VigilantTexan


LOL my first thought, no poking the back side.

No grit in the bed.

The top sheet goes on top, not under you.

Do not forget your teeth on the night stand. LOL
Dickhead

User ID: 76722053
United Kingdom
10/11/2018 05:10 PM
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Re: O
Try farting then holding the gf under the sheet.

I sleep alone these days....
Goldmaster

User ID: 75497294
United States
10/11/2018 05:15 PM
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Re: O
...


what about on the carpet next to the bed? sometimes I can't control my cream pies.
 Quoting: chasity


one does not simply create their own cream pies

that requires a dude
 Quoting: Red John


I think she meant that she pisses herself cuz she can't control her old woman bladder lol
 Quoting: Goldmaster


it is none of your business to talk about my private business I don't want to share with the publice!
 Quoting: chasity


What is your zodiac sign babygurl?:)
Goldmaster





GLP