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Message Subject Social anxiety, and how to get over it ? Please!
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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I used to have horrible social anxiety. Like, I wouldn’t ask for ketchup at the counter at McDonald’s. I could order, but not go outside of the script to ask for extras. I’ve gotten over it almost completely to the tune of doing public speaking events on purpose! It was a long hard process, but definitely worth it. Here’s a few things that helped me.

St. John’s wort and Xanax. I don’t take Xanax anymore. I use natural herbs instead. Jumping through the hoops to maintain a Xanax prescription was too anxiety producing. I did it for a long time, but I’ve since been able to manage it with yoga, valerian, and/it ashwaghanda. Cbd oil is good too. Be sure to make sure you don’t have any drug interactions with anything herbal. Found out the hard way that melatonin and St. John’s wort is not a good mix.

While I was on Xanax, I pushed myself very hard to do the things that were hard. They were still hard. I inundated myself as much as I could and then spent a lot of time sleeping to recover. I lived in intense fear and anxiety for a couple years alternating between pushing myself hard, then recovering. The good news with this is that it’s a progression. Some things got easier after having done them for a few weeks, so then I pushed myself to take the next step. Toastmasters is a good way to do this. But I would say that it depends on your goals. Everything is easier once you master public speaking though.

Realizing that my fears were unfounded. Most people aren’t as judgmental as you think. Most people are busy worrying about their own crap. And if you happen to run into a jerk that’s judgemetal or you hear them talking behind your back, screw em. The people like that are the people whose opinions don’t matter anyway.

Be a business owner. If you have any way to be self employed, take it. Being able to set your own guidelines for how you’ll be treated is way way way better than having a boss up your ass telling you what you must put up with or how you must act. Being able to take time to build yourself up for something hard. Being able to take a day off on a whim just because you’re overwhelmed with something. Associating with other business owners who have a positive outlook on life and are generally excited instead of being surrounded by people who drudge through their days and hate everything is helpful too.

The real world isn’t like the internet. Most people are kind. The ones that aren’t are usually protecting themselves from their own anxiety.
 Quoting: D12345



Awesome share. Great job getting off of the Xanax, getting off Benzos is mentally more taxing than quitting any other substance. I was on a low dose of benzos for years, for almsot no reason, getting off of them was long and annoying process. I wasn't aware that they were the main cause of any anxiety I was feeling, they only really have theraputic effect for two weeks, after that they tend to cause more anxiety than they eliminated. Couple that with how dangerous they are, in any given survival situation your mortality rate increases on benzos significantly, my personal theory is because it won't let your survival mechanisms (adrenaline etc) activate.

Seriously well done!

I haven't tried St John's Wort, Valerian or ashwaganda will have to try them.

Edit: Not to mention Benzodiazapines (xanax etc) cause serious memory loss. I barely remember the few years I was on them, wasn't on a high dose either.
 
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