Feels like I touched a nerve here... So YOU KNOW deep down that YOUR life is meaningless, that without your fanaticism you're nothing but an ignorant fool. If this is bothering to you, just educate yourself and break the shackles of ignorance! Become fearless, become a better human being. Your fanaticism is only dragging you down to an increasingly darker abyss of superstition and mysticism.

You say "if evolution is true then nothing matters". On the contrary! Evolution IS true, no matter how much you say it isn't, you yield the benefits of its understanding, your children and your grand-children will benefit even more. Its because we understanding it and can predict, research and perfect based on it, that medicine is today making people live longer and healthier. Diseases can and are being eradicated(although your fellow fanatics anti-vaxers are not exactly helping with it) and treatments are becoming less and less invasive, more and more effective. The fallacy on your thinking is that "a designer must have done it" when its exactly the opposite. A good way for you to understand it is the "sentient puddle" argument. Since explaining it will probably sort no effect on you, here is a video: