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Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber

 
LoneStarRisingModerator
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Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
FYI. This is a satire site.

-------------------------------------------------------------​-----------------------------------------------------------

It may have looked like Hillary Clinton was reciting the Apostles' Creed along with the rest of those gathered at yesterday's memorial service for George H.W. Bush—Trump and his wife excepted. But the truth appears to be far more sinister: enhanced, slowed-down, zoomed-in footage of the event revealed that Clinton was actually reciting an ancient cultic ritual to raise ancient god Cthulhu from his slumber.

As others around her dutifully cited the Apostles' Creed, Clinton's eyes glazed over in a trance. Her voice took on a cold, eldritch quality, "at least more than usual," according to witnesses. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!" she began, as others in her pew shifted uncomfortably. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!"

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jake

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
LMAO, just spit my cofeve out


I cant stop laughing.

Last Edited by jake on 12/07/2018 06:19 AM
#walkaway
jake

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
My God I cannot believe Americans were stupid enough

to elect this psychotic nut job
#walkaway
jake

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I cannot stop laughing

"It was a close one," Bill Clinton said, chuckling nervously. "When you get her going like that, you usually just have to wait it out. Just last week she very nearly summoned a Shoggoth as we were sitting down to watch CSPAN."
#walkaway
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
LMAO, just spit my cofeve out


I cant stop laughing.
 Quoting: jake


cruiser

"Luckily, the former secretary of state then stumbled on a step and was subdued by her aides."
LoneStarRising
jake

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
the last line is the best
#walkaway
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I cannot stop laughing

"It was a close one," Bill Clinton said, chuckling nervously. "When you get her going like that, you usually just have to wait it out. Just last week she very nearly summoned a Shoggoth as we were sitting down to watch CSPAN."
 Quoting: jake


Lol
HIRSHEL

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12/07/2018 10:06 AM

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
bump
Hayduke
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12/07/2018 10:29 AM

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
FYI. This is a satire site.

-------------------------------------------------------------​-----------------------------------------------------------

It may have looked like Hillary Clinton was reciting the Apostles' Creed along with the rest of those gathered at yesterday's memorial service for George H.W. Bush—Trump and his wife excepted. But the truth appears to be far more sinister: enhanced, slowed-down, zoomed-in footage of the event revealed that Clinton was actually reciting an ancient cultic ritual to raise ancient god Cthulhu from his slumber.

As others around her dutifully cited the Apostles' Creed, Clinton's eyes glazed over in a trance. Her voice took on a cold, eldritch quality, "at least more than usual," according to witnesses. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!" she began, as others in her pew shifted uncomfortably. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!"

[link to babylonbee.com (secure)]
 Quoting: LoneStarRising


This is funny as fuck yo



m4077-haha
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oniongrass

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12/07/2018 11:38 AM
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
My God I cannot believe Americans were stupid enough

to elect this psychotic nut job
 Quoting: jake


Fair point. I'll explain.

The way it worked was that she had nothing to do with NY state. Grew up in Illinois, college in Massachusetts, law school in Connecticut, failed DC bar exam, passed Arkansas bar exam, went to Arkansas to glom onto law school classmate Bill Clinton, then to DC as First Lady when Clinton got elected President.

But when Clinton left office she needed a job right? So she buys a house in Chappaqua NY, where she's probably never been before, and now she's eligible to run as a New Yorker. In NY state, where the Democrat always wins the general election for Senate, a apot was cleared for her to take over the seat where Alfonse D'Amato was retiring. Other candidates (e.g. Nita Lowey) were cleared out of the way, some Kennedy who wanted the seat was offed, and lo and behold Hillary Clinton, from outside the state, wins the nomination and (automatically) the general election and becomes a US Senator from NY.

NY was chosen because it's a state where the Dem party can control the outcome. It controls its own primary, and its nominee always wins the general election.

Last Edited by oniongrass on 12/07/2018 11:41 AM
Tech_Sci_Philo_Noshil​o

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
FYI. This is a satire site.

-------------------------------------------------------------​-----------------------------------------------------------

It may have looked like Hillary Clinton was reciting the Apostles' Creed along with the rest of those gathered at yesterday's memorial service for George H.W. Bush—Trump and his wife excepted. But the truth appears to be far more sinister: enhanced, slowed-down, zoomed-in footage of the event revealed that Clinton was actually reciting an ancient cultic ritual to raise ancient god Cthulhu from his slumber.

As others around her dutifully cited the Apostles' Creed, Clinton's eyes glazed over in a trance. Her voice took on a cold, eldritch quality, "at least more than usual," according to witnesses. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!" she began, as others in her pew shifted uncomfortably. "Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!"

[link to babylonbee.com (secure)]
 Quoting: LoneStarRising


epiclol

Last Edited by Tech_Sci_Philo_No_Shilo on 12/07/2018 11:46 AM
You can handle the truth at your own risk.
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
hmmm you know that she is into HP lovecraft right? and that would be almost the president of the USA, with the option to launch nukes, you also know that she DID have an effect in that church right, the door blew open with a cold wind, you can make jokes about it, but im sure the rest of the ones in power do the same but not in public..... she made a mistake as shes not 100% normal, but we now know what they all worseship.
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12/07/2018 12:14 PM

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I am grateful that POTUS and FLOTUS refused to recite that dreadful Apostles creed.

Apostles creed
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended to the dead. <<< look at that period. end of statement?

Look at the period, that is how they leave it, that Christ descended to the dead.

I was raised with the belief that Christ was resurrected and ascended to heaven. Never did he descend.

Do not give into their evil dribble.
Just because YOU donít believe
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Chief Elder's Assistant

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
cruise
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I do not care if she was sitting there giving her hubby a hand-job while she was vigorously diddling herself at the same time. It’s none of my business… and that applies to whatever deities she wishes to worship or pray to. Remember the constitution guarantees all of us “Freedom of Religion”.

And while I find paganism objectionable, and Satanism worse - I recognize that those who follow those non-mainstream religions have every right to do so.
Life really is a banquet - and truly - most poor sucker are starving! Enjoy the ride baby.
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I am grateful that POTUS and FLOTUS refused to recite that dreadful Apostles creed.

Apostles creed
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended to the dead. <<< look at that period. end of statement?

Look at the period, that is how they leave it, that Christ descended to the dead.

I was raised with the belief that Christ was resurrected and ascended to heaven. Never did he descend.

Do not give into their evil dribble.
 Quoting: Loup Garou


You misunderstand. Some Christians believe that Jesus went to the level where earthbound spirits exist in order to help them to move to their rightful place during the period of three days after his death BEFORE he ascended to Heaven.
Your condemnation is based upon ignorance.
HO LEE FUKK

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
hillary
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
I believe it.
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Sikhed
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Sounds legit.
doom360
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Seems legit.
PiccoloGal

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
So now we know what really was inside her program. Ol' Jimmy went looking for his copy! Miffed he didn't get one, too!
Yogi Mahashishna

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Necronomicon is a fiction by Lovecraft, right?
Yogi Mahashishna
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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Necronomicon is a fiction by Lovecraft, right?
 Quoting: Yogi Mahashishna


Necronomicon was a prop in Lovecraft stories. A supernatural book.
"Do you believe in an afterlife?" the gunslinger asked him as Brown dropped three ears of hot corn onto his plate.

Brown nodded. "I think this is it."
100011

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Re: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
Don't insult Cthulhu like that.