It felt good today to leave Alicia a message, tired of so much of her shit for so long, and tell her I had no money for her, and her ticket was cancelled

Today, I resigned from my position as the Gift Horse and I decided I would think about Jenny and the children and stop self sacrificing so much

It was more important to not cause unhappiness for the children and myself thinking I would save money, when in the end I would not

I lit a nice fire to warm the house. It looks so beautiful. I love to watch the fire. I thought for a brief moment of Steve and imagined him here and us sitting with a cup of hot chocolate in front of the fire just quiet with so many thoughts going between us, no need for words.

And then I just thought of the perfect song and wanted to cry

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