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WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession

 
Things you should know
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 08:18 PM
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WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74018
United Kingdom
06/04/2007 08:19 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.
 Quoting: Things you should know 246848


Tanks for de advice Father!!


:zmbiprst:
rev
User ID: 236498
United States
06/04/2007 08:20 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Be prepared to have no one agree with your crazy beliefs.

No evidence =

bsflag bsflag bsflag bsflag
OP (OP)
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 08:21 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Be prepared to have no one agree with your crazy beliefs.

No evidence =
 Quoting: rev 236498



There is evidence. Google it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 235944
United States
06/04/2007 08:21 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
best damn thing i read all day!!! LOL!!!
~Sir John~

User ID: 245269
United Kingdom
06/04/2007 08:23 PM

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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.
 Quoting: Things you should know 246848



I think this has happened to me.
rev
User ID: 236498
United States
06/04/2007 08:24 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
All I see is religious programming.

Religion =

You guessed it!

bsflag bsflag bsflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2298
United States
06/04/2007 08:25 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 246687
United States
06/04/2007 08:27 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.



I think this has happened to me.
 Quoting: ~Sir John~


Yes.

Yer average bloke has to be very careful, in these End Days, when having one off the wrist.

I prefer to do it in the shower, myself.

rofl
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 174926
Canada
06/04/2007 08:28 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
i like the big titted one's
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 217142
United States
06/04/2007 08:32 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Here is your proof!

[link to www.youtube.com]
OP (OP)
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 08:32 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2298



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 246807
United States
06/04/2007 08:33 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Is that where the strange guttural growls, bulging eyeballs and the sensation of expanding into infinity come from? Reminds me of the 9Inch Nails's song.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 234305
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06/04/2007 08:40 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
feedtroll


.
Tomek
User ID: 189887
Poland
06/04/2007 08:42 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.
 Quoting: Things you should know 246848



this story is half a truth

because you said that : They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm.

this mean deads search for thous who make onanists to share the pleasure .

you are in the big mistake if you think this .

because they could have any pleasure and be ewerywhere and they are ewrywhere

so this what you said beware is a swindle because they are already ewerywhere .

you think they can only jamp to onanists ?
Tomek
User ID: 189887
Poland
06/04/2007 08:47 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
ewerywhere

...................

they play with our word and they are not stoped by any law .

mean they can make anything for the peoples .

..................

and for me to

..............

:)

...........

and I can for them to

.............
Garlic eater
User ID: 246864
United States
06/04/2007 08:50 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
.

Well, garlic is a sexual stimulant when eaten raw, and on the days I partake of the "stinking rose", I am so fuckin' horny with a hard-on that I have to "take care of bizness" and I usually shoot a fuckin' cannon shot load !!!!

fuck yeah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 246866
United States
06/04/2007 08:58 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Bless me father, for I have......arrgghhhh.....I have...pant...sinned.
OP (OP)
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 09:05 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Problem is, those dead souls may eventually tell others about your sick fantasies. Like your dead grandmother.

So when you pass from this life into the arms of your nearest and dearest, don't be surprised when you get a nasty slap on the face!
Isaac Brock died for us

User ID: 83547
Canada
06/04/2007 09:05 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.
 Quoting: OP 246848

Tibetans believe that the souls of the dead search out couples having sex so that they can reincarnate at the moment of conception.

That's right. We witness our own conception. Our reaction to it determines our gender.
You can usually determine the sex of your unborn child by figuring out which partner had more fun that night.

I wanted to be a woman in this life, but when I saw my parents making out the hardwood floor of their living room, I thought "That can't be comfortable" and changed my mind at the last minute.
owner of an extensive collection of curios from the exotic orient
Babe in a Bunker

User ID: 231070
United States
06/04/2007 09:06 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.
 Quoting: OP 246848


WTF is up with Jesus? Doesn't he have anything better to do than witness heterosexual, married sex?
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


Twatter: [link to twitter.com]
Tomek
User ID: 189887
Poland
06/04/2007 09:09 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Problem is, those dead souls may eventually tell others about your sick fantasies. Like your dead grandmother.

So when you pass from this life into the arms of your nearest and dearest, don't be surprised when you get a nasty slap on the face!
 Quoting: OP 246848


problem is much diferent

that this "dead" souls swindle a lot to have a "fun"

so who make a slap for who ?

to late

so who laught from who ?

only satan laught .

see ?
OP (OP)
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 09:11 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.


WTF is up with Jesus? Doesn't he have anything better to do than witness heterosexual, married sex?
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker



He's protecting the sanctity of married life from Satan's sex-crazed demons.

Didn't you go to Sunday School?
Isaac Brock died for us

User ID: 83547
Canada
06/04/2007 09:14 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.


WTF is up with Jesus? Doesn't he have anything better to do than witness heterosexual, married sex?
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker

Jews believe that Elijah the Prophet is present at every Jewish baby's circumcision.
owner of an extensive collection of curios from the exotic orient
Isaac Brock died for us

User ID: 83547
Canada
06/04/2007 09:16 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
WTF is up with Jesus? Doesn't he have anything better to do than witness heterosexual, married sex?

Jews believe that Elijah the Prophet is present at every Jewish baby's circumcision.
 Quoting: Isaac Brock died for us

And Elijah still finds time to disguise himself as a beggar and hit up every Descendant of the 12 tribes for spare change.
owner of an extensive collection of curios from the exotic orient
Tomek
User ID: 189887
Poland
06/04/2007 09:17 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
Problem is, those dead souls may eventually tell others about your sick fantasies. Like your dead grandmother.

So when you pass from this life into the arms of your nearest and dearest, don't be surprised when you get a nasty slap on the face!
 Quoting: OP 246848


so who make this fantasies if the soul enter your body is inside you ? you or He-spirit ?

surprised when you get a nasty slap on the face! ?
Evil Twin

User ID: 18373
United States
06/04/2007 09:17 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm out of garlic. I need a priest right now!!!
Isaac Brock died for us

User ID: 83547
Canada
06/04/2007 09:18 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
On Passover Elijah stops in for a full glass of wine at every Jew's house.
talk about a hangover!
owner of an extensive collection of curios from the exotic orient
Babe in a Bunker

User ID: 231070
United States
06/04/2007 09:22 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
On Passover Elijah stops in for a full glass of wine at every Jew's house.
talk about a hangover!
 Quoting: Isaac Brock died for us


At lease Elijah sounds like a partier... Jesus sounds like a voyeur.
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


Twatter: [link to twitter.com]
OP (OP)
User ID: 246848
Germany
06/04/2007 09:24 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm out of garlic. I need a priest right now!!!
 Quoting: Evil Twin



There used to be a priest in every neighborhood, ready with his crucifix 24/7. You could always smack your plank safe in the knowledge that no demon would touch you.

You're playing with fire, Evil Twin. Try a hotline.
Grizzled Old Goat

User ID: 246332
Canada
06/04/2007 09:27 PM
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Re: WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession
I'm sure the "demons" (earth-bound souls/spirits) also hang around couples and partake of their orgasms also. There's no reason they would only select masturbators.



Married couples making love are overshadowed by Jesus. The demons stand no chance.


WTF is up with Jesus? Doesn't he have anything better to do than witness heterosexual, married sex?
 Quoting: Babe in a Bunker


Hoo-yeah!

:jeebuz:





GLP