Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 1,513 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 602,983
Pageviews Today: 1,107,479Threads Today: 344Posts Today: 6,214
05:37 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass

 
Ihatepedos
Offer Upgrade

User ID: 47891050
United States
01/11/2019 12:31 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
No matter what I do I get skid marks and wind up smelling like dog shit


Can someone link me on how to wipe my stank ass
Ihatepedos
Rotten Scum

User ID: 69847800
Netherlands
01/11/2019 12:32 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Nuclear warheads are told to wipe it pretty good, hopefully many will be launched during Donald Christ's holy crusade against the anti-Saudi globalists.
May the world submit to Donald Christ and Greater Israel for peace and safety.

"That is all to say that in the Congress of the United States, the aisle that divides Democrats and Republicans disappears when it comes to policy that relates to our support of the security for the state of Israel." -Pelosi AIPAC 2008
Peerless Cockroach

User ID: 77217123
United States
01/11/2019 12:33 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Dude...

What
Peerless Cockroach
Bill Gates

User ID: 76572625
Canada
01/11/2019 12:33 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Stop watching gay prn when drunk
Ihatepedos  (OP)

User ID: 49207987
United States
01/11/2019 12:33 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Help
Ihatepedos
Rotten Scum

User ID: 69847800
Netherlands
01/11/2019 12:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass


Get near, point your arse and get ready for a good scrubbing.
May the world submit to Donald Christ and Greater Israel for peace and safety.

"That is all to say that in the Congress of the United States, the aisle that divides Democrats and Republicans disappears when it comes to policy that relates to our support of the security for the state of Israel." -Pelosi AIPAC 2008
Ihatepedos  (OP)

User ID: 47763449
United States
01/11/2019 12:35 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
C'mon man seriously the skid marks have to stop
Ihatepedos
Rotten Scum

User ID: 69847800
Netherlands
01/11/2019 12:37 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Go ask your Israeli friends to help you clean.
May the world submit to Donald Christ and Greater Israel for peace and safety.

"That is all to say that in the Congress of the United States, the aisle that divides Democrats and Republicans disappears when it comes to policy that relates to our support of the security for the state of Israel." -Pelosi AIPAC 2008
Rotten Scum

User ID: 69847800
Netherlands
01/11/2019 12:37 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Ameriscum are their children.
May the world submit to Donald Christ and Greater Israel for peace and safety.

"That is all to say that in the Congress of the United States, the aisle that divides Democrats and Republicans disappears when it comes to policy that relates to our support of the security for the state of Israel." -Pelosi AIPAC 2008
Icey

User ID: 77119763
United States
01/11/2019 12:38 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
bidet?
I am SNOWIE
Indrid_Cold

User ID: 77253753
United States
01/11/2019 12:39 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
don't pull your pants up till you're 100% clean, everytime.
Ihatepedos  (OP)

User ID: 47610757
United States
01/11/2019 12:40 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I wipe and wipe and it's never clean so I give up always something on the paper
Ihatepedos
TheBlueOne

User ID: 70960909
United States
01/11/2019 12:41 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
In all seriousness men are so bad about wiping it's ridiculous. I know you're probably trolling but i'm gonna let you in on a secret 'cause y'all men don't know how to wipe good using minimal toilet paper. My husband wipes good but uses a crapload of TP so I told him what i'm going to tell you.


You fold several squares into a rectangle. Get a good grip on it, and when you wipe, you gotta push your middle finger into the edge of your (sorry, graphic) hole. You gotta get up in there. Then fold that rectangle in half, and wipe again. Keep folding till you can't anymore and use pressure so you clean it real good.

You do NOT need to use several wads of TP.
"for what does a man benefit to gain the world and lose his soul."

"ALRRRIGGGHHTTTTY THEN."

"They smile in my face and stab me In my back."

"Against all odds"


Disclaimer- Anything said from this account should be considered roleplay and not fact.
~La Mujer~ <3
TheBlueOne

User ID: 70960909
United States
01/11/2019 12:41 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
In all seriousness men are so bad about wiping it's ridiculous. I know you're probably trolling but i'm gonna let you in on a secret 'cause y'all men don't know how to wipe good using minimal toilet paper. My husband wipes good but uses a crapload of TP so I told him what i'm going to tell you.


You fold several squares into a rectangle. Get a good grip on it, and when you wipe, you gotta push your middle finger into the edge of your (sorry, graphic) hole. You gotta get up in there. Then fold that rectangle in half, and wipe again. Keep folding till you can't anymore and use pressure so you clean it real good.

You do NOT need to use several wads of TP.
"for what does a man benefit to gain the world and lose his soul."

"ALRRRIGGGHHTTTTY THEN."

"They smile in my face and stab me In my back."

"Against all odds"


Disclaimer- Anything said from this account should be considered roleplay and not fact.
~La Mujer~ <3
Indrid_Cold

User ID: 77253753
United States
01/11/2019 12:42 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I wipe and wipe and it's never clean so I give up
 Quoting: Ihatepedos


And that is why you always have skid marks.
Bill Gates

User ID: 76572625
Canada
01/11/2019 12:43 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
In all seriousness men are so bad about wiping it's ridiculous. I know you're probably trolling but i'm gonna let you in on a secret 'cause y'all men don't know how to wipe good using minimal toilet paper. My husband wipes good but uses a crapload of TP so I told him what i'm going to tell you.


You fold several squares into a rectangle. Get a good grip on it, and when you wipe, you gotta push your middle finger into the edge of your (sorry, graphic) hole. You gotta get up in there. Then fold that rectangle in half, and wipe again. Keep folding till you can't anymore and use pressure so you clean it real good.

You do NOT need to use several wads of TP.
 Quoting: TheBlueOne


Yes. One square is enough.
Bill Gates

User ID: 76572625
Canada
01/11/2019 12:46 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Have you tried baby wipes?


Um

Maybe it's the moisture in your like.... you know.... crack thing

... and dry paper isn't good enough



But you could always just wet a normal dry toilet paper




You can do it OP
Tui-Yeahh

User ID: 77259505
New Zealand
01/11/2019 12:46 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
get your bf to lick it off
JIK

User ID: 77225305
United States
01/11/2019 12:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Wet wipes for the win. Toilet paper is for barbarians.
Rotten Scum

User ID: 69847800
Netherlands
01/11/2019 12:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
In all seriousness men are so bad about wiping it's ridiculous. I know you're probably trolling but i'm gonna let you in on a secret 'cause y'all men don't know how to wipe good using minimal toilet paper. My husband wipes good but uses a crapload of TP so I told him what i'm going to tell you.


You fold several squares into a rectangle. Get a good grip on it, and when you wipe, you gotta push your middle finger into the edge of your (sorry, graphic) hole. You gotta get up in there. Then fold that rectangle in half, and wipe again. Keep folding till you can't anymore and use pressure so you clean it real good.

You do NOT need to use several wads of TP.
 Quoting: TheBlueOne


Not to burst your bubble, but OP is one of those effeminate men, probably a tranny even, they always complain about manly things and want to be as girly as possible.
May the world submit to Donald Christ and Greater Israel for peace and safety.

"That is all to say that in the Congress of the United States, the aisle that divides Democrats and Republicans disappears when it comes to policy that relates to our support of the security for the state of Israel." -Pelosi AIPAC 2008
JIK

User ID: 77225305
United States
01/11/2019 12:48 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Plus eat healthier and stop drinking so much. You prob got roids. Shit hiding in all kinds of places.
Cats are Superior

User ID: 76715508
United States
01/11/2019 12:52 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
shitthread
Captain S >

User ID: 76665289
United States
01/11/2019 12:52 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I literally get a mini shower every time I take a dump. I wipe a few times first and then hop in.

My butthole is always super clean.
ODERINT DUM METUANT
every dogma has its day
USN-DS3 - 1999-2015
happy to be back on this rock
Warrior Spirit

User ID: 77271405
Ireland
01/11/2019 12:53 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Toilet paper is a inferior way to stay fresh. Bidet is better.
BouncingBetty

User ID: 77278658
01/11/2019 12:54 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
bidet?
 Quoting: Icey


putin-thiss
The term "Undocumented Alien" is like calling a drug dealer an "Un-Licensed Pharmacist"

I am pro Trump so "please don't red Karma me bro"

I'm getting on the ships because even if i'm destined to be an in-flight meal for Zorg it's better than being a socialist.
Warrior Spirit

User ID: 77271405
Ireland
01/11/2019 12:54 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Wet wipes for the win. Toilet paper is for barbarians.
 Quoting: JIK


You will clog pipes and ruin the environment with those so no.
Catmandoo

User ID: 77046724
United States
01/11/2019 12:55 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Go to the Wal-Mart and buy some Assurance wash cloths. They're like baby wipes only full sized.

Use some TP to get all the thick stuff. Then use the damp cloths to dig in and dung out the hole and to clean up the cheeks.

If you engage in anal...you may have anal leakage. That is hard to keep clean. It is like post nasal drip.
iby

User ID: 77243458
Canada
01/11/2019 01:15 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Real humans who are obviously not reptilians at all and are therefor ACTUALLY human don't take craps AT ALL, their bodies absorb everything they eat and their bodies vaporize any unhealthy food they eat, so all real humans have never once pooped or farted in their entire lives!!!!!!

Also every square millimeter of the inside of a real human body has very powerful anti bacterial stuff released which prevents any gross smelling bacteria from growing anywhere inside their bodies so even if humans did have an upper or lower intestine(they don't because the food they eat absorbs directly into their bodies through their stomachs because their stomachs break down food with special not actually acidic powerful enzymes that are designs to target food and corrode(burn, eat away at) the wall of the stomach, and their stomach release very powerful acid neutralizers anyways) that excreted food that the body could not break down it would not contain any bacteria(at least no more than just traces of bacteria that has only recently entered the body) and therefor the poo would not smell bad because its the super gross bacteria that makes reptilians poo smell VERY bad LMFAO, You don't need bacteria to break down food in the lower intestine because the lower intestine could just release very strong enzymes to break down the food even better than bacteria does by simply eating it as bacteria naturally does and obviously the lower intestine could release some liquids and then churn itself to effectively break down and absorb the remaining nutrients from the food in the lower intestine so there is ZERO NEED for any food breaking super gross bacteria that smells so bad that its obviously bad bacteria that could therefor cause very severely bad infections!!!!!!! so how you reptilians shapeshifters have entire area's inside your body where very gross bad bacteria is allowed to grow in MASSIVE amounts with them having a ton of food to live off of to grow into very massive numbers shows that your bodies were purposely designed to have NO immune systems in a place of the body you that actually need it the very most(the lower intestine and rectum and anus) because any organism non reptilian or reptilian would uncontrollably evolve a working immune system in the entire digestive track so how you reptilians dont have any immune systems in the entire upper and lower intestine means you reptilians really are purposely designed to have no immune systems in a place you need it the most which means you reptilians truly are freaks of nature and how your minds are able to tolerate and live with a body that cannot kill off a very massive super gross smelling INFECTION in it's lower intestine means that you people have super gross brains and therefor super gross minds!!!!!!!!!!!

iby
PhallexJones

User ID: 77245379
United States
01/11/2019 01:15 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
you must be muslim.
ok
"McDonald's is some of the best food you can find. But keep buying that overpriced bullshit from Whole Foods why don't ya?" anon
iby

User ID: 77243458
Canada
01/11/2019 01:16 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Real humans who are obviously not reptilians at all and are therefor ACTUALLY human don't take craps AT ALL, their bodies absorb everything they eat and their bodies vaporize any unhealthy food they eat, so all real humans have never once pooped or farted in their entire lives!!!!!!

Also every square millimeter of the inside of a real human body has very powerful anti bacterial stuff released which prevents any gross smelling bacteria from growing anywhere inside their bodies so even if humans did have an upper or lower intestine(they don't because the food they eat absorbs directly into their bodies through their stomachs because their stomachs break down food with special not actually acidic powerful enzymes that are designs to target food and corrode(burn, eat away at) the wall of the stomach, and their stomach release very powerful acid neutralizers anyways) that excreted food that the body could not break down it would not contain any bacteria(at least no more than just traces of bacteria that has only recently entered the body) and therefor the poo would not smell bad because its the super gross bacteria that makes reptilians poo smell VERY bad LMFAO, You don't need bacteria to break down food in the lower intestine because the lower intestine could just release very strong enzymes to break down the food even better than bacteria does by simply eating it as bacteria naturally does and obviously the lower intestine could release some liquids and then churn itself to effectively break down and absorb the remaining nutrients from the food in the lower intestine so there is ZERO NEED for any food breaking super gross bacteria that smells so bad that its obviously bad bacteria that could therefor cause very severely bad infections!!!!!!! so how you reptilians shapeshifters have entire area's inside your body where very gross bad bacteria is allowed to grow in MASSIVE amounts with them having a ton of food to live off of to grow into very massive numbers shows that your bodies were purposely designed to have NO immune systems in a place of the body you that actually need it the very most(the lower intestine and rectum and anus) because any organism non reptilian or reptilian would uncontrollably evolve a working immune system in the entire digestive track so how you reptilians dont have any immune systems in the entire upper and lower intestine means you reptilians really are purposely designed to have no immune systems in a place you need it the most which means you reptilians truly are COMPLETELY VERY UNNATURAL freaks of nature and how your minds are able to tolerate and live with a body that cannot kill off a very massive super gross smelling INFECTION in it's lower intestine means that you people have super gross brains and therefor super gross minds!!!!!!!!!!!

iby
iby

User ID: 77243458
Canada
01/11/2019 01:22 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Maybe you could get yourself an immune system in your lower and upper intestine AND STOMACH(so you also would get a lot sick from food poisoning and therefor have a lot less diarrhea) so your poo/crap does not smell bad because if there is no bacteria in poo then poo just doesn't smell bad, and not get nearly as sick from the vomiting flu, because reptilians don't even have an immune system in the walls of their stomachs thats why they get so sick from food poisoning and the stomach flu when they would otherwise get a lot less sick and have a lot less puking and diarrhea) so reptilians lack an immune system in their stomachs as well as their upper intestine and even worse lower intestine, people should have immune systems all along the wall of their esophagus also.

Anything that does not have a stong immune system in it's stomach is a very unnatural freak of nature and any pooing organism that does not have an immune system in it's upper and LOWER intestines is a very unnatural freak of nature.

Poo and farts and sharts are SO horrendously disgusting LMFAO.

iby